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Trusting
the Lord's Purposes in Adversity
by
Darla Isackson
Our Lives
are Under Construction
I
live in the Salt Lake Valley, where "road destruction" became a
way of life as we prepared for the Winter Olympics which are now
history. Month after month a major freeway renovation slowed the
flow of traffic to a crawl. In a rush, we learned that the very
freeway entrance we most needed to get to work quickly had been
closed. Great mounds of dirt, endless lines of orange barrels, detour
signs, and unwelcome barricades made life difficult. For us smooth
traffic flow became the stuff of dreams.
Much like a
road construction project, our lives often must be torn up before
they can be improved, widened, made more serviceable. The minute
we determine to travel the path of spiritual progress, we are likely
to find barricades, detours, or the very entrance to a freeway we
had most hoped to travel closed for reconstruction.
How do we respond?
How will the athletes respond who came so close to the gold, but
missed it? Can we, at the very moment the "gold" eludes us, trust
the Lord, thank Him, and seek the alternate route He has in mind?
Can we use our trials of faith as motivation to seek the Lord with
greater intensity, and in retrospect recognize His purposes?
Art Berg, who
passed away just this week, was such a vibrant example of a person
who was able to do that. He broke his neck in a car accident on
his way to make final wedding plans with his sweetheart after his
mission. He was an athlete, a mover, and was suddenly paralyzed
from the neck down. Undaunted, he refused to accept limitations,
and his obituary recounting his accomplishments was the longest
I've ever seen. I knew him personally, edited his first book, and
will always remember his kindness. I was new in the workplace, and
it was Art who took the time to tutor me on the computer. He exuded
such wholeness that it was hard to remember that he was limited
in any way. Would he have exerted such a positive influence on so
many had it not been for his affliction? Not likely. Brigham Young
said, "There is not a single condition of life or one hour's experience
but what is beneficial to all those who make it their study, and
aim to improve upon the experience they gain."
Trials
of faith
I think of the difficult experiences my mother and father
encountered at the first of their mission. They were originally
sent to South Carolina. They arrived in the mission field full of
the spirit of the MTC, thrilled with the opportunity to serve.
It promptly
began to rain. When it rains in South Carolina, it doesn't clear
up in an hour as it often does in Utah. It rained nonstop for weeks
and the humidity skyrocketed.
Two days into
this deluge my father was taken to the hospital and put on oxygen.
He was in the early stages of undiagnosed emphysema. He didn't get
better, but became weaker and weaker. Mother carried on as best
she could, her situation bearable because of the kindness of the
members and the comfort of the Lord's Spirit. She was far from home
and Dad's life was hanging in the balance and we were all faced
with a huge trial of faith. Mom and Dad prayed constantly to know
what to do and why the Lord had sent them to a place where Dad could
not function. All of us at home prayed for them. Soon the doctor
strongly suggested my father was not going to get well in South
Carolina--that he must be moved to a dryer climate.
So it was that
less than a month into their mission, Dad--too weak to stand--was
carried from the hospital, carried onto an airplane and transported
to Mesa, Arizona. He and Mom were reassigned to be missionaries
at the visitor's center at the Mesa Temple and were welcomed into
the home of a wonderful couple until Dad was better. His health
improved rapidly, miraculously. They thanked the Lord, and found
an apartment. No sooner had they moved in than my mother became
very ill. By now it was Christmastime, and Mom spent Christmas Eve
and Christmas day in the hospital so sick she couldn't hold down
water. When she improved and was sent back home, she became deathly
ill again. And now Dad shared her symptoms--headache, nausea, terrible
weakness.
Another great
trial of faith, another turning to the Lord with their whole hearts.
What was happening here? Why were their heartfelt desires to serve
being thwarted? At home the whole family fasted and prayed for them;
the next day a visitor smelled gas and called the natural gas man.
They learned there was a serious gas leak in the apartment; they
were being poisoned by carbon monoxide! They moved immediately,
recovered their strength within the week, and served a glorious
18-month mission without missing another day for illness. They became
convinced the adversary had been trying to stop them because of
the good they were capable of doing on their mission.
It occurs to
me that the Lord honors the adversary's agency as he does ours.
He doesn't stop him from throwing obstacles in our way. Still, the
Lord keeps his promise that "all things shall work together for
good." Because my mom and dad had faith in the Lord and turned TO
Him, not away from him in the midst of their adversity, they emerged
stronger, wiser, and with greater trust that the Lord's power can
always triumph over the designs of the evil one. Many others benefitted
from their experiences--in fact all who knew them were strengthened
by their great faith. We all rejoiced in the blessings and joy that
came after their trial of faith.
The
Lord's love comes in varied packages
The inexperienced have not learned what Linda Richman expresses
so well in her book on dealing with loss I'd Rather Laugh; How
to Be Happy Even When Life Has Other Plans for You: "I learned
that we can withstand a lot of pain and loss and not just survive
it but rise above it. No matter how sad you are today, happiness
and laughter and even joy are distinct possibilities for tomorrow
or if not tomorrow, the day after that."
I believe that
trust in the Lord gained from the perspective that He is at the
helm, loves us unconditionally, and has tailor-made our trials for
our education and growth is the best "life insurance policy." Yet
how many times we lose perspective and go about our lives busily
judging and labeling every happening. Too often we are inclined
to thank the Lord only for the things we label "good."
There is great
futility in attaching positive or negative labels on events, circumstances
or people. Such labeling is the source of much unhappiness and fretting.
How many times do the very "worst" happenings in our lives carry
with them the seeds of the greatest blessings?
Tribulations
are often the catalyst for the humility that turns people to the
Lord. And the very event that seems so terrible at the time can
later turn to our good in ways we cannot possibly foresee. The story
of Douglas Bader a British pilot (quoted from the book Sudden
Trauma) is an amazing example.
Trials,
Determination, and Silver Linings
Prior to World War II, Bader had been an outstanding young
aviator with an almost unlimited future. However, tragedy struck
when he was involved in a flying accident that resulted in the amputation
of both legs. He was nursed back to physical and emotional health
through the caring of a young nurse who became his wife.
He faced a flyer's
worst nightmare, especially since he had only one dream-- to serve
his country in the Royal Air Force. He could easily have given up
hope of ever flying again, indeed many encouraged him to do just
that. However, through his own undaunted faith, together with the
faith of his wife, he qualified to fly again. He was initially restricted
to relatively simple aircraft, but he was not satisfied with the
restricted flight certification. He had his sights set on something
greater-- to fly high performance fighters. He knew what it took
to fly the "new" Hurricane fighter, a complicated and demanding
aircraft, and was certain he could master the controls, even with
two artificial legs.
As World War
II broke out and the skies above the British Isles were filled with
enemy aircraft, he became even more determined to fly as a fighter
pilot. After months of repeated rejections by the Air Ministry,
he was given a chance to demonstrate his ability to fly the Hurricane.
Reluctantly they returned him to operational flight status in time
for him to participate in and become a hero of the "Battle of Britain,"
the single most important aerial battle of the war. He was not just
competent but outstanding in his performance without regard to his
"disability." He became a triple ace, and his artificial legs actually
saved his life. When his plane was hit by enemy cannon fire, the
badly damaged cockpit trapped his legs. Only Bader could have unstrapped
his legs, left them behind, and bailed out to safety!
The analogy
is clear: the very things we see as our greatest trials can, in
reality, be our greatest gifts. In his time of deepest peril, Bader's
previous "tragedy" saved his life.
Evidence
of the Lord's love can be found in every adversity
One of the hardest situations I ever lived through created
the most spiritual reaching for me and resulted in the greatest
increase in my trust in the Lord. One of my sons chose to absent
himself from the family for a period of nearly five years. I did
everything I could think of to reach out to him, entice him to participate
in family gatherings, to no avail. For some time he did not return
phone calls, did not answer mail, did not acknowledge gifts.
Desperate to
know he was all right, I began making visits to his apartment, taking
him hot bread, etc. but did not catch him home. Finally I arrived
just as he was walking from his car into his house. I ran over,
eager to greet him, embrace him. He looked at me coldly, said, "You'd
better leave," and he shut the door in my face! I can't even write
about this without reliving the shock and utter amazement I experienced.
I knocked and called to him, but he wouldn't respond. I sat on his
cold cement porch for a long time praying to know what to do. I
was numb, incredulous, hurting like I had never hurt before. Who
could imagine that a dearly loved child of mine would ever refuse
to see me? I finally dragged myself wearily to my car and drove
home. Later, my husband held me as I sobbed out the story. He too
was incredulous.
I could never
count the tears I shed for this son, the prayers I said in his behalf.
I have to admit some of my prayers were angry ones. I had never
been abusive to him, always tried my best. I didn't deserve such
treatment! But over a period of months, with the Spirit as my guide,
my prayers changed to expressions of trust and patience, and the
thoughts I sent to my son were filled with deep love, not anger.
I became aware that what the Lord expected of me was to trust Him
in all things. The Spirit taught me that my son was on his own journey
and had, in his own mind, good reasons for what he was doing.
I found dozens
of scriptures that kept me not only sane, but peaceful. I pictured
my son's name written in the palm of the Savior's hand, thought
of my son as the little lost sheep that the Savior was daily seeking.
I immersed myself in scriptures such as D&C 98:1-3 "Verily
I say unto you my friends, fear not, let your hearts be comforted;
yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks; Waiting patiently
on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the
Lord of Sabaoth, and are recorded with this seal and testament--the
Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted. Therefore,
he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that
they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been
afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my names' glory,
saith the Lord." D&C 68:6 "Wherefore, be of good cheer,
and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you."
and D&C 11:5 "Therefore, if you will ask of me you shall
receive; if you will knock if shall be opened unto you."
I wanted the
door to be opened NOW. I wanted my prayers for my son answered in
my way and on my time table, but learned to submit to the will of
the Lord until I could truly say, "Heavenly Father, I don't know
what is best for my son, but You do. I don't know when or how you
can reach out to him and bring him back to the family, but I know
you will and I will pray for him with all my heart every day with
absolute faith until it happens--even if it takes the rest of my
life." And I meant it. I will be everlastingly grateful that it
did not take the rest of my life. One morning less than a year from
the day my son shut the door in my face, I answered the phone. How
can I describe my feelings when I recognized my lost son's voice?
I was instantly choked up and could hardly speak to reply when he
apologized for what he had done and invited me to come over. Soon
I was on that same cold cement front porch, but this time my son
flung the door open and returned my embrace. We cried together,
and as he talked, I began to understand what he had been going through.
Did that whole
experience "work together for my good?" Oh, yes! I frequently think
of all I learned about patience and the Lord's time table. I'm grateful
that I learned the importance of continuing as long as it takes
in faith-filled prayers; although he has returned to safety of the
family net, he has not yet returned to the Church. And whenever
I become impatient about that or about my prayers concerning some
weakness I am striving to overcome, I remember the lesson I learned
that I must be willing to submit to the Lord's timetable. I must
continue to pray for the blessing I am seeking for as long as
it takes--and be sure I am doing all I can do to progress in
the meantime. This process of waiting and seeking and praying, and
in the meantime being humbled by our limitations and weaknesses
is part of the process of developing a broken heart and a contrite
spirit.
There is good
reason for the Lord's asking of us the sacrifice of a broken heart
and a contrite spirit in this dispensation. A broken heart lets
go of the cares of the world like a broken vase relinquishes the
water that filled it. When our heart is broken we relinquish distractions,
worries, mental distress, and confusion and focus on listening to
His voice. We let go by trusting the Lord that we will be taken
care of and that we will be able to do the one thing that is needful.
We develop the ability to thank the Lord in all things and to feel
his watchful care in every situation, every adversity. What greater
blessings could we ask for?
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