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©iStockphoto.com/Richard Gerstner
Is there someone in your family that
everybody avoids mentioning? Do your relatives shrink when you talk
about doing family history? You might want to consider doing a genogram
of your family.
Not only are genograms the central
theme of my recent book Tangled Roots, but they are also
receiving a lot of attention in the media these days. In a recent
article in Newsweek, Anna Kuchment has authored an article
that defines genograms this way:
A genogram goes beyond names and
birth dates to chart information about relatives’ relations
with one another, their physical and mental health, and the places
where they grew up.
In today’s society where the
family is fragmenting, a genogram is an important tool for understanding
who we are and why we are the way we are. This is the first step
in healing.
Studying the lives of our ancestors
and how they succeeded or coped gives us important information about
how we can deal with the genes we inherited. We know that Jesus
Christ atoned for all of our problems, not just our sins. If there
are things in our past that we need to overcome, He will help us.
We came to this world to succeed, so
even though we may be “programmed” genetically with
a problem, with His help we can overcome it. But we must identify
the problem first. It helps tremendously to know that many of our
tendencies or challenges come to us through our family, but it is
not an excuse for us to fail. God’s grace is available to
all.
In my family, it wasn’t Aunt Hattie, but Aunt Bette. She was
in and out of hospitals all the time I was growing up. Finally,
she was institutionalized permanently. No one would talk about what
was wrong with her. My father just said she was a hypochondriac.
Then someone let the word “lithium” drop, and I realized
Aunt Bette was mentally ill. In doing my genealogy on that line,
I found out that she and I were descended from a long line of mentally
ill people who were all institutionalized for life.
When I became mentally ill myself,
my father’s attitude towards his sister was a great barrier
in my deciding to get help. It also gave me a very negative picture
of myself. When I finally went to get help, it was a great assistance
to my doctors to know that it was a genetic problem. They were able
to change my negative mindset and overcome my “programming”
about what it meant to be mentally ill.
I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude
to my Heavenly Father that I live in a day and age when medications
are available for my problem. By the time the medications that helped
me manage my illness were on the market I was so ill that it wouldn’t
have been long before I would have been institutionalized myself.
This serious problem has gone down
another generation in my family. It is worth noting that my nephew’s
psychiatrist told his mother that when this is a genetic problem,
it manifests itself earlier in each generation. My own son has had
it since he was twelve.
Genograms can red flag many problems:
addictions, abuse, attention deficit disorder, self-destructive
behavior, disease, marital longevity. They can also trace artistic
talents, genius, and even entrepreneurial success.
According to Newsweek, software
for a genogram project can be found at www.genopro.com
(free for fewer than 25 people; $49 for 26 or more.)
If you have read Tangled Roots,
you will find that genograms can reveal more than names and dates.
They can lead you into very unexpected adventures!
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