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Genealogy,
I am Doing It...Plotting a Trip to the Cemetery
by
James W. Petty, A.G., C.G.R.S., BS (Genealogy)
This series
of articles "Genealogy - I Am Doing It..." are intended
to provide families with activity ideas they can use to introduce
genealogy and family history to one another as an interesting and
enjoyable family experience.
Everyone who
searches for their ancestors' names in genealogy and family history,
hopes to discover new information each time they visit the Family
History Library, or go on a research trip. But not every genealogy
effort produces fruit. Fruit comes only after weeding, clearing,
digging, planting seed, nurturing, and pruning—then comes the
harvest and fruit. Elder Dallin H. Oaks, a member of the Quorum
of the Twelve Apostles, speaking about our responsibility to do
genealogy, states: "You might say that our effort is not to get
everyone to do everything, but to get everyone to do something."
(Church News: Mar. 26, 1988). Our goal then is to help you discover
the "somethings" you and your family can do, and enjoy it at the
same time.
What does a
trip to the cemetery mean to you? Does it conjure up dark visions
of lost spirits? The traditional place of haunting? Or is it a reminder
of death, with mournful memories of the past? Row upon row of lost
dreams, broken relations. Is it a place where parents always weep
or gathered in somber consolation? Does a cemetery trigger feelings
of unpleasant quiet; the incredible seriousness of life, and perhaps
even a little fear? Or does it make you feel joyful!
I'll bet "joyful"
wasn't the adjective on the tip of your tongue, was it? How about
happy, intrigued, or inspired? Those are all words that express
my feelings. I love to visit cemeteries. For one thing, cemeteries
are often the most beautiful parks or gardens in any city I am in.
Lovely flowers often abound. For some people the flowers around
grave sites represent expressions of loss and sadness. It reminds
me of the analogy that some people see a glass of water as half
empty, while others see it half full. When I see flowers on grave
sites I think of the great love so many people have for one another.
A cemetery isn't a place of loss; it is a place of fulfillment,
where children of God have completed their life's missions and journeys,
and have moved on. The ancient Romans called the Spirit World -
"The Elysian Fields". It was a place of joy, of reuniting, and a
place of hope. Cemeteries are simply mortal reminders of those fields
of hope.
As a genealogist,
a cemetery to me is a fascinating history book, full of small stories
of people and families, and communities. The graves tell me about
individuals loved and missed; about accomplishments and personal
interests. I am reminded of the variety of religious faiths, and
of the faith of the religious in their expressions of trust in Heavenly
Father. Cemeteries tell of immigrants from far off lands, leaving
the homes of their forefathers, and traveling across oceans and
plains to find a place where they might live joy with their beloved
spouses and children.
I am reminded
of a beloved great, great grandfather, Samuel Eames, who is buried
in a small pioneer cemetery on the outskirts of Plain City, Utah.
A tall marker stands over his grave bearing the inscription "Samuel
Eames, 1790-1868". It is not a place of sorrow, but rather is a
place of victory. In a letter to his children in 1861 (who had already
emigrated to America) he wrote: "My Dear Children...I have bean
in the church of the Latter Day saint now more than 20 years and
was never cut off nor disfeloship. I have bean baptized 4 times
and ordained to 4 diferent offices, thank God for it... I ask you
my dear Brothers and Sisters in the name of God to take my case
in to consideration and do all you can to help me and my son and
family to come out of this wicked and dark country, for I cannot
make myself contented to die here... I remain your umble Brother
and father Samuel...Mickel Church Esley, Herefordsheer, Old England."
Samuel and his family finally left their "wicked and dark country",
arriving in Salt Lake City on August 20, 1868. He died seven weeks
later on Oct. 15, 1868. When I visit this small farm cemetery I
invariably find myself weeping, but it is with tears of joy and
love for a man and a history I am proud of.
Cemeteries
are archives of genealogical information. They often contain names,
dates, and places of birth and death, and even marriage, that predate
modern records. Tombstones are often inscribe with details about
their lives, and some even preserve portraits, and poetry illustrating
their characters. Visiting cemeteries to locate the graves and markers
of our relatives also helps us to relate to them and to realize
a connection to other relatives and the places where they lived.
I remember visiting a cemetery in York County, Pennsylvania, and
after recording the information from the gravestone, looked around
at the church, and farmlands surrounding this site, and was drawn
to the sound of a huge flock of quacking geese noisily flying toward
the distant horizon. This was something foreign to my experience,
and I realized with fascination that it was a part of my ancestors
daily life.
In a churchyard
outside of Baltimore, Maryland, on a winter's day, in a howling
freezing storm, I discovered the grave of a grandmother, Mrs. Rachel
Thompson, of whom the family had long forgotten her maiden name.
She died in 1825, and the marker stated that she was the daughter
of Christopher Mutchiner. Next to her I found her father's grave,
noting that he was born in 1734, and died in 1820. The weather was
so bad that my fingers were almost too cold to write, but I was
so thrilled to discover this new information that I could endure
anything to obtain this new name.
When my family
and I visit a cemetery there is always a contest to see who can
find a particular relative first. We scatter across rows of markers
looking at the faces of the past and reading about those who have
"gone before", until one of us shouts out "I found them!" We taught
our children when they were young to come to the cemetery prepared
to clean and trim around the grave site, and make it a place where
others can come and enjoy visiting our family. But I have always
taught my children to enjoy a cemetery. We have games such as finding
the oldest grave, or the oldest person. We solve mysteries such
as ...who belongs to who? We find history in markers of young men
who served in military service in various wars and gave their lives
for principles of freedom and faith. We look for funny and interesting
names, such as finding our "Smellie" Scottish relatives (They always
say it is pronounced "Smiley" which I believe is true, because I
always feel "smiley" when I see their name).
In addition
to our "games", my children have always enjoyed simply playing on
the broad parks that cemeteries are found in. Some people I have
known discourage any playing in a cemetery as being disrespectful.
After all, cemeteries are often regarded as almost religious shrines,
where there should be a reverent attitude. We have taught our children
to be reverent and respectful, but to also view these places with
happiness. In my imagination, I think of the joy my deceased relatives
might have to have their great grand children playing joyfully around
them.
We look for
famous names of history at cemeteries, and tell stories to one another
about these heroes of our past. The Salt Lake City Cemetery is an
especially fascinating and favorite place to visit. My ancestor
Thomas William Winter, my Mother's great grandfather who joined
the Church in Bath, England, and became the first bishop of the
Salt Lake City 6th Ward, is buried there. Coincidentally,
his grave is next to that of my wife's pioneer ancestor, Samuel
Comstock Snyder. A couple of rows away from them is the marker designating
the grave of President John Taylor, and near him the graves of Jedediah
M. Grant, and his son President Heber J. Grant. Visiting these people
reminds us of their service and testimonies, and it lifts our hearts
and strengthens our own faith.
Cemeteries
should be places of peace, hope, and joy. It is the world that teaches
otherwise. Those who don't have the gospel in their lives fear death,
and the graves that represent death. They mourn and suffer because
they don't know that Heavenly Father lives, and loves us, and that
we return to live with Him. Brigham Young, at the funeral of his
Sister Fanny Murray, exulted in her passing into the Spirit World,
into Paradise. He recognized that she had moved on to a place and
a condition of joy, and he praised her and rejoiced for her.
When you plan
a visit to a cemetery, prepare by gathering equipment and information.
For equipment, take gardening tools with which to clean and trim
the plants and landscape around the family gravesites. You may want
to take flowers to place or plant around the markers. Also take
a stiff brush to clean off the marker. Be sure to bring paper and
pencils to record inscriptions, and also chalk in case faint letters
need to be highlighted. For information, gather what information
you know about the people and ancestors you are looking for. Pictures
and other illustrations will be of interest to your family when
you find the grave, and it will help them mentally and emotionally
connect with their ancestor and the information they discover about
them. Take a camera for pictures, both of the graves, and also to
record the family experience.
We often take
a small picnic lunch that we can spread out after we have cared
for the grave sites that we came to visit. Caring for markers and
surrounding plants teaches our children to be reverent and respectful.
The lunch allows for a time of pondering about our loved ones in
a pleasant way, and our activities there with our children teach
not to fear these Elysian Fields of the present.
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