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The Clues
Line at Meridian Magazine
by
James W. Petty, CGRS, AG, BS (Genealogy)
Questions
and Answers:
Sarah
B. - Salt Lake City, Utah asks:
"I
was adopted at birth, by a very kind and loving LDS family. I've
been raised in a good home. I've been given love, and opportunities
of life, and I love my parents, to whom I've been sealed. I believe
I know where I am going, but I still wonder "Where did I come from?"
If I already have an eternal family, would these feelings still
be promptings of the Spirit of Elijah? If so, how to I begin?"
Answer:
Sarah, Heavenly Father has blessed you with an eternal family, and
your responsibility is to seek out your sealing line. However, for
you and others who have been adopted into new homes, he has given
the additional privilege of having a second family to search for.
We generally don't know why people are adopted out by a parent.
For whatever reason, your birth mother was unable to take on that
responsibility. In your case, she loved you and cared enough to
make certain that you would go into a home with good values. Wherever
love exists, the Spirit of Elijah will be there to help you find
your family.
Searching for
a birth parent can be a difficult and daunting venture. But it can
be done, and often the search and the discovery can be very rewarding.
Many of the adoptees that I have known who have searched for their
birth mothers have discovered that they weren't forgotten. The birth
mothers I have met have spent lifetimes thinking about the child
they might have known, and the discovery between mother and child
is often very fulfilling.
When you start
the search for a birth parent, begin with prayer. As in all things,
Heavenly Father has all of the answers, and can open doors, and
break down barriers in helping you find your family. Then, make
certain your adoptive parents understand that you love them, so
they can be secure in their relationship with you. Those adoption
searches that I have participated in, have been most successful
when the adoptive parents participated in the search with their
child. The sense of selflessness that is generated by such a relationship
increases the bond of love between parents and children.
The first step
in the research process is to go to the agency that handled the
adoption. Many of these businesses maintain files on their cases
for many years, and in the right circumstances it is possible to
obtain information from them. This is especially true when the adoptive
parents are willing participants in the search. Sometimes, the birth
mother will leave permission in the file, for the child to contact
her, in which cases records can be opened and made available. In
other cases, the adoption agency can serve as the intermediary to
contact the birth parent to find out if contact will be allowed.
However, in many cases there may not be a valid address, or way
to contact them, and adoption agencies generally are not able to
release information without that approval.
Legal adoptions
are an action of the court system, and adoption files are controlled
by the courts. Because of the rights of privacy mandated by law,
it can be very difficult to obtain access to those files. Again,
under the right circumstances, records can be released. But this
has to be looked at on a case by case basis. When dealing with the
court systems, it is best to work with an attorney who is familiar
with the laws and requirements of the court.
When the search
moves beyond the court system, the key requirements are a good imagination
and a lot of determination. There are a number of good research
guides available that will give you ideas about what to look for
and where to search. There are sites on the Internet that will help
too. Cyndi's List (www.cyndislist.com)
one of the largest directories of genealogy sites available, shows
over 130 web sites pertaining to adoption research including message
boards, and registries where adoptees and birth parents alike can
leave their names and addresses for one another to find.
If your adoptive
parents are working with you, they may be able to give you clues
about when and where you were born. The smaller the town, the better
the chance of finding people who might recall some one who might
have been having a baby at the right time, who didn't keep the child.
If the adoption was the result of an injury or even death, after
the birth of the child, it is possible to identify births that occurred
at the right time, and were listed in the local newspaper. The most
important thing is to start your search as early as you can. The
later you wait in life, the less chance there is of finding people
who remember, or who were living in the area at the time.
Hopefully,
if the Spirit is prompting you to look for your birth parents, It
may also be prompting them to look for you.
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© 2001 Meridian
Magazine. All Rights Reserved.
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