A Single Girl’s Christmas Letter to Santa
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, Santa’s Little Helpers

Yes, we might be a little too old to be writing letters to the jolly fat man, but there’s still a little girl (or boy) in each of us who misses that time in life where we could just put all our faith in one letter to make all our dreams come true.

Dear Brother Kringle,

Once upon a time, a group of “spicy” girls made a lot of money singing a song that said, “Tell me what you want, what you really, really want.”  It was pretty obvious that what they really wanted was money, and by telling everyone what they wanted, they got it.  So maybe I am a little too old to be writing Santa, and I know I’m not very “spicy,” but there are a few things on my list that I really, really want (if it’s not asking too much, of course.)

If you are debating about whether I have been naughty or nice this year, let me turn your attention to all of the good things I have done.  First, I put up with my roommate a lot longer than most people would have.  I cleaned all my dishes, and never left them for someone else to do for me.  I also did everything on the roommate chore chart without complaining.  That has to be good for something, right?  I have also been on an exorbitantly high number of charity dates this year.  They seriously outnumber the pathetic number of real dates I went on!   Assuming I am on your good girls’ roster (and I am pretty sure I am), let’s move on to the aforementioned list.

We will start a pair of Ugg boots, because this is by far the simplest item on my list to get and quite practical when you think about it.  I know that for some people these are merely fashion accessories and total icing.  But see, I live in a really cold climate (just like you!) and it snows here all of the time.  Ugg boots are not just really fashionable right now, but also very sensible.  They are very warm, and perfect for walking to the bus in the snow, and for looking good when I get to work! 

The next thing on my list is a guy we’ll call John Doe.  Santa, he’s fabulous. He’s amazing!  I am sure there are lots of girls who have him on their lists as well, but he’s the kind of guy that makes me wish I was a spicier girl so that he would notice me.  I am sure that if I could get just one date with him, I could totally win him over.  There is a very good chance that he could be my Mr. Right.  And please remember, I really, really want him wrapped up nicely.  No box necessary — I’m prone to shake boxes until I figure out what’s inside, and I don’t want to cause him excessive brain damage before our first date.  Just have him neatly wrapped in something other than a BYU tee shirt, old baseball cap, and ripped jeans (those are great sometimes, just not the first date). 

I understand that you’re not really in the matchmaking business, but you must understand the pressure I’m under.  At this point I would settle for a nice guy to take to office and family parties.  Attending these events year after year has become pure torture for a nice girl just trying hard to live her life and find a nice guy in the mean time.   He doesn’t have to say anything — in fact, with my family, he can get away with smiling and nodding and he’ll get along just fine.  I’m probably setting myself up for rampant gossip and a year’s worth of speculation on when I’ll finally marry the boy whose only purpose in attending those functions was to be a friend and save me from yet another round of lectures from overzealous relatives who take the opportunity to remind me I’m not getting any younger, I can’t get a guy with my good looks anymore, I’m way too picky…you get the idea. 

As the saying goes, “stick a fork in me — I’m done!”  I’m done with it all.  I just want a nice guy who likes me as I am, quirks and all.  A guy who doesn’t care if my shoes take up all the floor space in the closet, likes hockey games and boogie boarding, can hold his end of the conversation up, isn’t a sci-fi junkie (nothing against sci-fi, of course, since I’ve been known to enjoy the occasional Star Trek: Next Generation rerun myself, but only because I bet that Warf is pretty cute under all the Klingon makeup).  My point is that I’m done with the games.  I just want someone to love who can love me back, and we can accept each other as we are and move on from there, building something great together.  And a few minutes of snuggle time in front of a fire on a cold snowy night wouldn’t hurt much either.

If that really is too much to ask, the Ugg boots will be fine, in pink if you can swing it.  Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

A Very Single Girl

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A Little Feedback

Reader Chris sent us this heartfelt letter.  We open it up to all of our readers to respond to.

I wonder if you have ever thought of this. They are out there and they defend your freedoms from so many who would like to take them away from you. Why is it that the most important things are forgotten? Why don't you incIude this group? I seen a group that was going out on Patrol and they stood in a prayer circle and I knew these were my true brothers. I hope you read the Book of Mormon because there are many references to defenders of liberty, their church, owing what they thought was for the defense of the people, it's all there for those to see. We would not have this country without those type of people, who acted and took responsibility for defense of this country. Now more than ever we need those like unto Ammon, Nephi, Moroni, Mormon, should I continue? I wonder if those who seek to take away our freedoms if they saw a united resolve among the people, would they seek peace quickly? Make no mistake, they are truly out there, they fight against the light of truth and of freedom of choice, you can see who they are by what they do. Again you would know because they deny the Christ and what He has shown us is CLEARLY the better way. I am not angry with you but a society that thinks "all is well in Zion, yea Zion prospers." Should not we prioritize our lives and values and owe a better support to those who defend your right to exist? Once I saw a beautiful redhead with striking blue eyes in a restaurant while I was there with my daughter. She caught me eye because I noticed her staring at me. Why I don't know. Maybe it was because of the animation of my daughter. Her mother was there but I didn't fully comprehend why until later. She ate her food very slowly and I thought it odd but maybe she wasn't very hungry. As she got up, it was my turn to stare. It all came into place. She had been in a car accident, much like my sister, the same sort of head injuries and of being able to see but not act as quickly and control herself as others could but being aware of her limitations. Her mother slowly led her out and my heart did truly ache with compassion for her. How I wished I could heal her but it would take more than I knew how. It would be God that would do it. As I still thought about her the next day, this thought exploded in my mind, I maybe couldn't heal her but I could DEFEND her. There are many whom I could defend, those who are busy raising children and trying to feed a nation at the same time. Those who have given of their best years in the cause of freedom. Those who are alone with many who depend on them. Those who cannot defend themselves. I will always remember her. It is why I am here and I do freely give. I just would ask that you remember us and say a prayer for us. I have made a commitment to live honorably and I know I will not play it safe, I will go out in righteous anger and it is a just cause. There are quite a few of us out there, maybe not a huge amount but we are there. Pray that someday soon we can all come home and that a sense of peace will prevail. * Merry Christmas Everyone! Do you have a holiday horror story to share?  What is the worst office party date you have ever been on?  We know it’ “Preference” time at BYU, which must mean incredibly overdone creative dates are happening for some — send them our way!   We look forward to receiving your good tidings in our humble little inbox at erinandjuli@meridianmagazine.com .