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A Single Girl’s Christmas Letter
to Santa
By Erin Ann McBride
and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, Santa’s Little Helpers
Yes, we might be a little too old
to be writing letters to the jolly fat man, but there’s still
a little girl (or boy) in each of us who misses that time in life
where we could just put all our faith in one letter to make all
our dreams come true.
Dear Brother Kringle,
Once upon a time, a group of “spicy”
girls made a lot of money singing a song that said, “Tell me what
you want, what you really, really want.” It was pretty obvious
that what they really wanted was money, and by telling everyone
what they wanted, they got it. So maybe I am a little too old
to be writing Santa, and I know I’m not very “spicy,” but there
are a few things on my list that I really, really want (if it’s
not asking too much, of course.)
If you are debating
about whether I have been naughty or nice this year, let me turn
your attention to all of the good things I have done. First,
I put up with my roommate a lot longer than most people would
have. I cleaned all my dishes, and never left them for someone
else to do for me. I also did everything on the roommate chore
chart without complaining. That has to be good for something,
right? I have also been on an exorbitantly high number of charity
dates this year. They seriously outnumber the pathetic number
of real dates I went on! Assuming I am on your good girls’ roster
(and I am pretty sure I am), let’s move on to the aforementioned
list.
We will start a pair of Ugg boots,
because this is by far the simplest item on my list to get and
quite practical when you think about it. I know that for some
people these are merely fashion accessories and total icing.
But see, I live in a really cold climate (just like you!) and
it snows here all of the time. Ugg boots are not just really
fashionable right now, but also very sensible. They are very
warm, and perfect for walking to the bus in the snow, and for
looking good when I get to work!
The next thing on my list is a guy
we’ll call John Doe. Santa, he’s fabulous. He’s amazing! I am
sure there are lots of girls who have him on their lists as well,
but he’s the kind of guy that makes me wish I was a spicier girl
so that he would notice me. I am sure that if I could get just
one date with him, I could totally win him over. There is a very
good chance that he could be my Mr. Right. And please remember,
I really, really want him wrapped up nicely. No box necessary
— I’m prone to shake boxes until I figure out what’s inside, and
I don’t want to cause him excessive brain damage before our first
date. Just have him neatly wrapped in something other than a
BYU tee shirt, old baseball cap, and ripped jeans (those are great
sometimes, just not the first date).
I understand that
you’re not really in the matchmaking business, but you must understand
the pressure I’m under. At this point I would settle for a nice
guy to take to office and family parties. Attending these events
year after year has become pure torture for a nice girl just trying
hard to live her life and find a nice guy in the mean time.
He doesn’t have to say anything — in fact, with my family, he
can get away with smiling and nodding and he’ll get along just
fine. I’m probably setting myself up for rampant gossip and a
year’s worth of speculation on when I’ll finally marry the boy
whose only purpose in attending those functions was to be a friend
and save me from yet another round of lectures from overzealous
relatives who take the opportunity to remind me I’m not getting
any younger, I can’t get a guy with my good looks anymore, I’m
way too picky…you get the idea.
As the saying goes,
“stick a fork in me — I’m done!” I’m done with it all. I just
want a nice guy who likes me as I am, quirks and all. A guy who
doesn’t care if my shoes take up all the floor space in the closet,
likes hockey games and boogie boarding, can hold his end of the
conversation up, isn’t a sci-fi junkie (nothing against sci-fi,
of course, since I’ve been known to enjoy the occasional Star
Trek: Next Generation rerun myself, but only because I bet
that Warf is pretty cute under all the Klingon makeup). My point
is that I’m done with the games. I just want someone to love
who can love me back, and we can accept each other as we are and
move on from there, building something great together. And a
few minutes of snuggle time in front of a fire on a cold snowy
night wouldn’t hurt much either.
If that really
is too much to ask, the Ugg boots will be fine, in pink if you
can swing it. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
A Very Single Girl
*
A Little Feedback
Reader Chris sent
us this heartfelt letter. We open it up to all of our readers
to respond to.
| I
wonder if you have ever thought of this. They are out there
and they defend your freedoms from so many who would like
to take them away from you. Why is it that the most important
things are forgotten? Why don't you incIude this group?
I seen a group that was going out on Patrol and they stood
in a prayer circle and I knew these were my true brothers.
I hope you read the Book of Mormon because there are many
references to defenders of liberty, their church, owing
what they thought was for the defense of the people, it's
all there for those to see. We would not have this country
without those type of people, who acted and took responsibility
for defense of this country. Now more than ever we need
those like unto Ammon, Nephi, Moroni, Mormon, should I continue?
I wonder if those who seek to take away our freedoms if
they saw a united resolve among the people, would they seek
peace quickly? Make no mistake, they are truly out there,
they fight against the light of truth and of freedom of
choice, you can see who they are by what they do. Again
you would know because they deny the Christ and what He
has shown us is CLEARLY the better way. I am not angry with
you but a society that thinks "all is well in Zion,
yea Zion prospers." Should not we prioritize our lives
and values and owe a better support to those who defend
your right to exist?
Once I saw a beautiful redhead with striking blue eyes in
a restaurant while I was there with my daughter. She caught
me eye because I noticed her staring at me. Why I don't
know. Maybe it was because of the animation of my daughter.
Her mother was there but I didn't fully comprehend why until
later. She ate her food very slowly and I thought it odd
but maybe she wasn't very hungry. As she got up, it was
my turn to stare. It all came into place. She had been in
a car accident, much like my sister, the same sort of head
injuries and of being able to see but not act as quickly
and control herself as others could but being aware of her
limitations. Her mother slowly led her out and my heart
did truly ache with compassion for her. How I wished I could
heal her but it would take more than I knew how. It would
be God that would do it. As I still thought about her the
next day, this thought exploded in my mind, I maybe couldn't
heal her but I could DEFEND her. There are many whom I could
defend, those who are busy raising children and trying to
feed a nation at the same time. Those who have given of
their best years in the cause of freedom. Those who are
alone with many who depend on them. Those who cannot defend
themselves. I will always remember her. It is why I am here
and I do freely give. I just would ask that you remember
us and say a prayer for us. I have made a commitment to
live honorably and I know I will not play it safe, I will
go out in righteous anger and it is a just cause. There
are quite a few of us out there, maybe not a huge amount
but we are there. Pray that someday soon we can all come
home and that a sense of peace will prevail.
*
Merry Christmas Everyone! Do
you have a holiday horror story to share? What is the worst
office party date you have ever been on? We know it’ “Preference”
time at BYU, which must mean incredibly overdone creative
dates are happening for some — send them our way! We look
forward to receiving your good tidings in our humble little
inbox at erinandjuli@meridianmagazine.com
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