Behavior Problems
in the Classroom
By C.S. Bezas
We had a recent
issue at our local, early-morning seminary
program. There are several classes that run
simultaneously at the local chapel. Unfortunately,
some of the youth in one of the early-morning
seminary classes decided to remain in the
parking lot, instead of attending class. Understandably
the teacher was quite upset and concerned.
This prompted
the CES supervisor to remind all of the seminary
teachers in our stake that seminary teachers
have the necessary right to suspend or discipline
any student(s) that cause serious problems
within the seminary program. Additionally,
the teachers were reminded that parents are
paramount to success in the program — in other
words, parents need to be informed when their
children are doing well in seminary and especially
when their youth are not.
An Excellent
Reminder
What an excellent
reminder that seminary teachers are aids to
parents in the development of these youth
— not the other way around. In fact, according
to Administering Appropriately: A Handbook
for CES Leaders and Teachers, the Lord
has given parents the main charge to do the
following for their children (taken from pages
4-5):
Duties
of a Seminary Teacher
We as seminary
teachers assist families by:
- Teaching
students the gospel of Jesus Christ as found
in the standard works and in the words of
the prophets;
- Emphasizing
the doctrinal importance of the family;
- Emphasizing
the high priority that family members deserve;
- Emphasizing
the high priority that family activities
deserve (Administering Appropriately:
A Handbook for CES Leaders and Teachers,
pp. 4-5)
In fact, family
counsel must come before any other. Elder
Boyd K. Packer taught that no one should intercede
in a child’s problems prior to the child’s
father (Ensign, May 1978, 93). Thus,
we as seminary teachers simply act as assistants
to parents in teaching the gospel. Our communication
lines need to remain open with our students’
parents. That is why we are to periodically
issue report cards. Additionally, we help
keep communication lines open between ourselves
and parents by periodic conversations, letters
or phone calls to the parents.
Communicating
with Parents
What should
be discussed in these open communications?
In my opinion, it is important to share our
eternal perspective of the child’s worth with
his or her parents.
It is all too
easy at times for parents to lose sight of
this, if their child is manifesting frustrating
behavior. How reassuring it can be to a parent
— and perhaps surprising — to hear sincere
feedback as to reasons why the seminary teacher
values a son or daughter in class (even if
it challenges the seminary teacher to find
truthful benefits of the child’s positive
impact).
To support these
kinds of statements, we can share a few anecdotes
of upbeat examples of how the son or daughter
has benefited the seminary class. Even if
it strains you to find something positive
about the child, please make the effort. In
God’s eyes, we all have great value! Pray
to find that value within the more troubled
of seminary kids; it will be important to
share that benefit with the parents, not simply
as a manipulative tool, but in a truthful
moment.
All of
the Lord’s children have the ability to contribute.
Whether the child has a sense of humor, or
held the door open for someone, or made sure
the class got out on time, each person contributes
in meaningful (and sometimes subtle) ways.
Now, if something
must be said to a parent as to a child’s less-than-positive
behavior, it can be shared in the spirit of
love and concern. At times, it might be difficult
to disassociate the hurt or anger perhaps
felt towards the student. But as a seminary
teacher, and regardless of the effort required,
it is essential we remove ourselves out of
the equation and focus on the youth. As teachers
we are about assisting and aiding the growth
of the Lord’s youth.
By communicating
information about the student’s attendance,
efforts in class, or punctuality, we in truth
help the student. We do this by informing
the person to whom the Lord has given the
greatest power to make a difference — the
parent.
The Tool
of Prayerful Insight
When we pray
and ask the Lord how we should proceed with
any given student, we will be given insights
which will help us ensure we’ve made the best
choice. Every pebble tossed into a pond will
cause ripples that expand throughout the water’s
surface. It is the same with every communication
we initiate, whether with a troubled student
or with that student’s parents. It is important
that we proceed with care and that we do
proceed. Rather than ignore a problem,
it is best that we address it head on.
So in the instance
of the youth in the parking lot this last
week in my local area, it falls to the seminary
teacher to make sure the parents were informed
as to this event. But how that information
is given can make such a difference in the
outcome. Depending on how we handle situations
like these, we can cause a ripple for good
or simply a ripple of unhappiness.
The Benefit
of Wisdom.
King Solomon’s
wisdom became well known, surprising even
the Queen of Sheba. We read in 1 Kings 10:4,
6-8, 23-24:
And when the queen of Sheba had seen all Solomon’s
wisdom, and the house that he had built,
…she said to
the king, It was a true report that I heard
in mine own land of thy acts and of thy
wisdom.
Howbeit I believed not the words, until I
came, and mine eyes had seen it: and, behold,
the half was not told me: thy wisdom… exceedeth
the fame which I heard.
Happy are thy
men, happy are these thy servants, which
stand continually before thee, and that
hear thy wisdom.
As we go throughout
the seminary year, scenarios may present themselves
that might stump us. But we as the Lord’s
seminary teachers can petition the Lord for
wisdom akin to that of Solomon. That way,
as we serve the youth before us, we will do
so in as profound a manner as that of King
Solomon’s most wise of choices.
Look for C.S. Bezas’ new book, Powerful
Tips for Powerful Teachers: Helping Youth
Find Their Spiritual Wings, in LDS bookstores
October 2006.
