Do you ever feel like you are alone, filed with guilt, hopeless, overwhelmed and without answers? Here are stories from parents who have responded to my column: Rescuing Wayward Children. They are in various stages of success, but all have made the common discovery: Every sanctifying effort you exert to sanctify yourself has a sanctifying effect on the person for whom you are praying.

Please note that all names and much of the specific identifying information has been changed. I invite you to share your stories. Whether you are at the beginning or end of your journey, we would love to hear from you. I assure you that you are not alone, and absolutely there is an answer. (Please watch for my next column tomorrow—“Why Does there have to be an Organized Church ? A question that prompted a significant Family Home Evening.) Here are some letters from our friends:

Dear Larry,

Wonderful article. Leaves us with hope. YES this is a wicked world. As a mother of 5 teenagers, I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would be struggling with some of them. I have seen first hand how the adversary works with them. My teenagers tell me that I have no clue what goes on in the halls of the high school. I have poured my heart out in prayer for one of my children and I have literally seen that prayer being answered while I was praying. This is a frightening world for them. I just keep praying, going to the temple and fasting for them. I did that for one daughter and she told me she doesn't know how she got away from a boy that was out to destroy her. I know how. She looks back and can see how she almost lost everything. My girls tell me that there aren't any “good” boys; they all do “things.” I raised my children to be open-minded and to see things clearly, but I will say this sweep of evil is getting to the best of them. Thanks again for your article it was timely.

Mother of five

Dear Larry,

Thank you for your thoughts on this very difficult subject. I have watched three of my children “Choose the Right” and four of my children “Leave the Right.” It tears me and my husband apart to see these four beautiful Children of God make such decisions that lead them away from the truth. We are always condemning ourselves for not being parents that could inspire and uplift our children to look to the gospel and the Church for their life choices. It is easy to say to ourselves that we did our best, but when you know or feel that you didn't, the guilt really takes over. Again, thank you for your message of encouragement.

Mother of “Choose the Right” and “Leave the Right”

Dear Larry,

I'll make a long story short. My wife and I have been active in the church all our married lives, serving in ward and stake callings. We have 5 children, 4 boys and 1 girl. All have left the faith. Two years ago, I was diagnosed with CLL (adult leukemia). As I broke the news to each member of my family separately, I thought that was as bad as it gets. I remember my daughter was 17 at the time. We had drawn apart, but my wife & I thought she was just a moody girl. She cried a lot as I tried to reassure her we were a forever family, but she seemed to grow more distant every day. I thought it was her reaction to the cancer news.

I have never been bitter or angry about having cancer. I thought why not me? I certainly know others who have worse afflictions. I kept remembering passages in the Old Testament about David and Solomon praying that if they had pleased God, they would ask Him one favor. My request was that my children might know Him and He would be their God, as He has been mine. That is still my constant prayer.

One afternoon, I got a call from a policeman, requesting I come and pick up my daughter. That was when we learned she was a meth addict. I remember praying with despair and asking God how this could happen without us knowing. The answer came as clear as a voice in my mind, He was telling me now. We asked everyone we knew with any experience of wayward kids what to do. Our insurance carrier's drug department pretty much told us to throw her out into the street and let her hit rock bottom on her own. Had we done that, I know she would be pregnant or dead by now. California has children's rights that pretty much put our daughter's life in the hands of a 17-year old drug addict. I should also mention that our daughter quit going to school about two weeks before being arrested.

Somehow, we found Cross Creek Manor on the Internet. This particular school had the elements we were looking for at a competitive price to alternatives. About $5,000 a month. Cross Creek was a lock-down facility so no drugs could get on campus. It included a therapist and regular counseling. We knew there are underlying reasons for her behavior. Its much more complicated than "Just say no to drugs." It was all girls, so she could re-learn what friendship means and how to be a whole person without a boyfriend. And, it had high school, so she could graduate with a high school diploma.

The morning I told her we were going to get her the help she needed, she screamed at me and said as long as it was far away from mom and me. She did participate in a small degree in selecting the school we chose and we did not have to have a transport service kidnap her in the middle of the night. We drove her the 10 hours. Just before we got there, I was getting cold feet and we talked about getting a hotel and discussing it further. My daughter displayed the most courage I have ever seen, as she told us, "No! Take me there now, because I know you guys and tomorrow you won't do it."

We arrived at the facility about 8 pm and we were able to say a quick goodbye and then she was ushered one way and we were ushered out the door. My wife and I stood on the steps and cried for a long time.  Then we drove to a nearby city and pretty much cried all night. That was the worst day of my life. We had not seen the facility, so the next day we had a tour of the school and the staff was careful not to let our daughter see us there. It would have been too hard. We were left in a room with about 8 girls that would be in my daughter's group and allowed to ask any questions without any staff monitors. We were extremely impressed with the girls we met and agreed that if our daughter learned even just a little bit of what these girls had, it was worth the effort.

Any program like this is a leap of faith. In addition to doing everything we could to help our daughter - we also had to know we had done all we could.

Our daughter showed only slight resistance at first, and then she began working her program as hard as she could. We also learned to work ours. We went to seminars and learned the tools we need to work with our daughter. She was 6 months into the program before we were able to see her. I can't begin to describe the change. She graduated after 14 months. 6 months of that time, she was 18 and it was her choice to stay and complete the program. She was a model student. She led the AA program at the school. She graduated high school and raised her GPA from failing to 3.0. She had numerous meetings with new parents, passing along the hope that we had found. She learned about herself, about service, and about God. She may very well be the answer to my prayers for all my children.

She has been home for two months now. She has a job and she just started college classes this week. She enrolled in Institute, with a dream of transferring to BYU some day. There's no cure for addiction. That will always be there. She is in recovery and she has chosen to live. She is temple worthy now, and has been to the temple for baptisms for the dead. We had to take a second on our home, and we'll be paying off this debt for a long time. Still, there is no question in our minds that she is worth it. When I see her smile and she throws her arms around me and says she loves me - I am the happiest man on earth.

The happiest man on earth

Dear Happiest Man on Earth,

Thank you for your touching story. You are truly a courageous man. Have you ever considered that your cancer was a sacrifice that opened the door for this miracle? Nephi (2 Nephi 32) effectively states that everything, including adversity, is consecrated. As I understand it, even adversity to a covenant person is counted as a sacrifice, and as we know, sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven. A covenant person suffers for the sake of Christ while the world suffers for the sake of suffering. Perhaps to save your daughter there was no other way.

Blessings to you!

Dear Larry,

Yes, I know that it is. I have always been tight with spending money and avoid debt. Cancer humbled me and showed me that family was all that mattered, so that I would make the right decision to save my daughter. I am also grateful to know that God knows the end from the beginning, and he prepares a way to counter every action of the adversary. I could write a long list of coincidences that fell into place along our journey. My daughter says things just have a way of working out.  They sure do.

Dear Larry,

We had similar experiences with our son like the woman's experience you wrote about in your article.  My husband and I always felt this child had a special spirit about him from the time he was a child.  He began his struggles with drugs at the age of 15.  He is now 23, doing better, but still on his journey.

About a year ago, I had a dream/vision, and I saw my son and I in the preexistence.  He said to me, "Mother, I will go down and make choices that you will not like.  But these choices will help you to remember who you truly are."  I have done a lot of soul searching because of him, and because of my experiences in ritual abuse as a child.  I have done a lot of generational clearing for my family and myself.  I am coming to realize that I am not all the labels that have been put on me, but that I am love.  That is who my essence is.  That is who my spirit is.  I am love.  I am light.  Period.  As I have shed the many layers of darkness, over many years, I can see my light.  My son has told me many times that he believes his drug path was guided by God.  That there was purpose for it.  Very interesting concept.  Somewhere in his knowing, his spirit, he knows he was to experience these things. 

Lael Woodbury, in a talk given to the CES Commissioners in 1974, said the following:

"Equally complete now is each of our lives before the Lord.  We explore them sequentially because we are time-blind.  But the Lord, perceiving time as space, sees us as we are, not as we are becoming.  We are, for Him, beings without time.  We are continually before Him--the totality of our psyches, personalities, bodies, choices, and behaviors.  If this is so, and I'll explain how it is, knowledge of this fact should change our entire approach to life.  For life becomes, then, not a cumulative, additive process, one in which we layer on increments of perfection like successive coats of laquer.  Life is rather a challenge to discover who we are, not to determine who we shall become.  . . The greater prophecy is not what we shall become, but what we are.  The challenge is not to add on perfection, but to strip away blindness and corruption and to discover what we are.  The essence is greater than the promise.  We are better subsumed in being than we are in becoming."

I believe that if we truly accepted the Atonement, we would not worry so much for our children or ourselves.  But relax.  For in God's grace and mercy and all knowing, He is with us every step of the way, His love never wavering, and nonjudging.  He understands all that we came here with--the energies on the planet, what we carry in our DNA, all the variables that are working for and against us.  He already knows who we truly are, now it's our turn to discover that.  As I have "stripped away my blindness and corruption", I am beginning to see me.  A magnificent, light being.  With no fear, just love.  "For I the Lord have not given you the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."  And if I can hold clear to the light and love that I am, the God within, then I can allow my son the same journey that I have been on.  To discover that for himself.  With no fear.  Just love.  This takes a lot of practice and is not always easy!  But when I reside in my essence, the Oneness with God, it is the most divine place on the planet! 

I appreciate your beautiful, comforting words in the article.  This is an amazing journey! 

Relaxed and grateful.

Dear Larry,

I am a mother to six children, all of them are now grown and most are struggling with life in a normal fashion. One of my sons came home after serving 9 months of his mission, he was determined to repent of his sins but found it harder than he had ever truly anticipated. His prison term is nearing an end and I have observed in him the desire to repent and change his life, I know that time will need to pass as he begins anew and will hopefully be fully converted to the gospel.  Another son returned from serving an honorable mission and served faithfully in various church callings for the past couple of years until abruptly changing his entire lifestyle within 6 months. He tells me all that he learned of the gospel is true, but; he can no longer live life the way he was taught, he has chosen and pursues and alternate lifestyle. A different son was a victim of abuse as a young child, he says the gospel is true but living the commandments is too hard to do, he has also chosen an alternate lifestyle and questions why our church won't accept it.

I'm not exactly sure what I would like to say, but after reading several of your articles in the Meridian magazine, and today's article on Rescuing Wayward Children , I felt I needed to thank you for the view you have opened up for me.  Hope has been dim and far away for a long time, and I have realized that I should not have let it disappear in my life.  I am learning to not give up or wish I could hide from the misery which accompanies the wrong choices my children seem to pursue. I do feel a great chasm opening in my family and we are being split by our individual understandings of the gospel. It seems that each of us is standing on a different plain as the chasm widens and we spread further apart.

I struggle to not dwell on mourning the choices of my sons. I try to receive strength and courage from our scriptures, and I strive to follow the examples of our scriptural fathers as they relate their time spent praying for help in behalf of their children and counseling with their children in righteousness to hold to the rod. Reading your articles has helped me to redouble my hold on the iron rod and see that I must endeavor to live the gospel as best I can and continue to pray and hope that my children will eventually turn and seek the gospel with their hearts and hands. Again, thank you for your articles which give me hope and strength.