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©iStockphoto.com/James Stewart
I used to be quite ashamed of myself
when I got to the end of a light-filled Sabbath day and, in reflecting
on the day, could not remember any of the specific impressions that
had made the day remarkable.
At times I have sought to remediate
my thoughtlessness by taking copious notes at church meetings —
especially as I listened to General Conference. But, as the pages
piled up, they became more like landfill than soul-fill.
So I started some years ago making
notes of especially powerful impressions on 3 x 5 index cards. I
would not record everything, just those impressions that were clear
through the haze. Maybe the impression would be rejoicing in singing
the words of a worshipful hymn. Maybe it was a sudden understanding
of a long-mysterious passage. Maybe it was an unexpected feeling
of serene peace. When my soul heard heaven, I took notes.
I would carry several weeks’
worth of heavenly messages in my pocket. After I had carried a card
for a few weeks, I would retire it to a drawer.
Making the record of inspirations was
a way of thanking Heaven. It testified that those messages were
valued.
Making Sense of the Notes
But they didn’t change my life
very much. In spiritually dry spells I might pull out a card and
ruminate on previous gladness and goodness. But I didn’t have
a system for using them to guide my life and decisions. They were
more like endless shelves filled with spiritual knickknacks —
decorative dust-gatherers. What would the Lord have me do to better
use His gifts to me?
I began to wonder if I should do more
than just record inspirations. Maybe I should study the pattern
of messages in order to discover God's directions for me. Maybe
the inspirations are very specific, timely and helpful guides which,
when combined with other recent impressions, can guide me on the
path toward Home.
As I thought about it, I was convinced
that God is not randomly throwing handfuls of candy from the Heavens.
I think He very carefully sends precisely the message that is needed
to help us make the next step in our journeys. As we study the messages,
we can get step-by-step instructions for our journeys that are more
reliable than those from Map Quest.
Our Own Liahonas
When Alma advises his son, Helaman,
to follow the word of Christ, I suspect he had in mind something
more personal and specific than the brass plates. I think he wanted
his son to tune in to the constant flow of heavenly directives.
For behold, it is as easy to give
heed to the word of Christ, which will point to you a straight
course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed
to this compass, which would point unto them a straight course
to the promised land (Alma 37:44).
The next verse seems to suggest that
Lehi and the family did not merely get a map of the territory but
regular directions to help them stay on course.
And now I say, is there not a type
in this thing? For just as surely as this director did bring our
fathers, by following its course, to the promised land, shall
the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond
this vale of sorrow into a far better land of promise (Alma 37:45).
We might be tempted to think that this
removes all our initiative. Apparently Alma anticipated the same
concern from his son:
O my son, do not let us be slothful
because of the easiness of the way; for so was it with our fathers;
for so was it prepared for them, that if they would look they
might live; even so it is with us. The way is prepared, and if
we will look we may live forever (Alma 37:46).
God makes the way easy by providing
specific directions. We, like the early Nephites, can be afflicted
with hunger and thirst — especially the spiritual variety
— if we fail to heed the counsel of our personal Liahonas.
Clearing Our Minds
I cannot count how many times I have
heard the counsel to sit and clear my mind in prayer. But I am more
of a doer than a reflector. So sitting in quiet prayer for extended
periods is hard for me. Actually it is impossible. I will either
start designing a woodshed or thinking about a local sale on cordless
drills. I am impatient in part because I love new learning and constant
doing (just like my dear Mama). God can most easily have a good
conversation with me when I am too exhausted to be pursuing a project.
A few nights ago Nancy and I worked
on our various projects and then watched a DVD. We went to bed about
11 p.m. But I was still hungry. But not chocolate hungry. Hungry
for heavenly fellowship. It was kind of like when a good friend
started to tell you something and you got cut off. Later you find
yourself hungry for the rest of the conversation, more of the story.
So I got up, went to the kitchen table,
and started to page through a magazine. Sometimes I read until I
am tired enough to sleep. But reading a home magazine was not going
to finish a conversation begun earlier. So I pushed the magazine
aside and pulled out the little leather notebook that I began to
fill with inspirations a few months ago, my first book of truth
logging. I thought I would try to put the heavenly hints together
to know what Father wants me to do next.
God pointed me to a scripture that
I have studied to try to figure out how to sleep better ("when
thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord" Alma 37:37)
and pulled me to the verse just before about crying unto God for
support. My soul locked onto one phrase: “Cry unto God for
all thy support.”
Pondering the Highlighted Words
Rather than merely record the luminescence
of those words, I chose to dwell on them — ponder them. I
think He highlights words, phrases, and ideas because they are important
— and important right now for one specific child. So I wrote
the phrase in my journal and, in a deliberately disorganized fashion,
I scribbled a list of projects — personal, professional, and
familial — on which I felt a keen need of heavenly support.
In the course of listing eight areas,
I got a surprise. I realized that some weeks ago I had expressed
to Father my disappointment at not having some opportunities to
do some works that are in my heart to do. I realized with a shock
that in the last few weeks since that hint to Father, I have enjoyed
a host of unexpected opportunities.
I realized that God has not wandered
off to some hobby or side job. He is as attentive as an infinite
and eternal Parent with only one single child to save and bless.
Wow. He is an incomparable Father and Guide!
I think the question for any and all
of us is not whether He is blessing us (That is all
He does! And He is a very capable Man!), the question is whether
we notice! And whether we will use His directions rather than leave
them littering the landscape.
So, as I listed the projects that I
feel drawn toward, I also recorded specific requests for help. I
felt like a son sitting peacefully with a helpful and wise Father.
It was a joyous hour. I went to bed tired but happy. (Unfortunately
I didn’t sleep much better than usual but it mattered so much
less because of the conversation with Heaven.)
Finding Our Own Ways to Hear
the Voice
I have a friend who says that I make
this entire spiritual seeking look easy. I disagree. I am stubborn,
independent, easily bored, and generally restless. But God accommodates
me. He regularly surprises me! Instead of demanding that I stop
being a silly human, He waits patiently and invites quietly. When
I am willing to meet Him, He is there waiting at the kitchen table.
And when I wander off on my silly side trips, He relaxes and waits
lovingly.
In other words, I don't have to be
a genius. I don't have to have my soul in perfect submission. I
just have to love Him (which He has taught me to do) and trust Him
(which He continues to teach me). He will patiently send messages
to guide my life.
I don't have to be a spiritual giant
like Joseph Smith or the prophet Samuel. I can be like Saul of Tarsus
who was pursuing misguided objectives with all his heart. And Jesus
will wait for me on the road to Damascus. I can be like the disciples
walking to Emmaus who missed their Lord but didn’t recognize
Him as He walked with them. But He will still walk with me until
I am ready to open my eyes. Amazing! I cannot believe His goodness!!!
Of course there is no advantage to
being spiritually coy. If I try to be more attentive, ponder messages
for patterns and meanings, and pause to record experiences instead
of breezing past my encounters with God, then I will learn more
fully and more quickly.
This doesn't happen because of our
great spiritual power. All of us are spiritual toddlers. God is
sending all of us messages and experiences customized for just where
we are on the path. Our job is to be attentive and appreciative.
As Barbara Keil astutely observed: “If we are shuffling along
the road to Emmaus with our eyes down wondering where He is, then
we are less likely to see Him than if we are looking for His presence
at every turn with eyes eager to see.”
His message — unfathomable as
it is — is that He wants to save stubborn, distracted, impatient,
selfish, quibbling Wally. I can't believe it! It may be weeks or
months between such rich conversations as we had at the table, but
He does not become impatient and stomp off. He waits. And He invites.
I am eternally grateful.
Heavenly Father gladly does exactly
the same thing for every single one of His children. For each of
us He waits at the table, in the living room, or in the backyard.
He waits. He is prepared to give us the directions to guide our
lives.
And that is the good news
for all of us! Maybe, as the Lord suggested in the Doctrine and
Covenants, many of us are walking in darkness at noon-day (D&C
95:6). He is flooding our lives with light, but we must open our
eyes. As we do, we will rejoice. And He will lead us lovingly back
toward Home.
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