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The
Perils of Excellence
By H. Wallace
Goddard
If we were to create a caricature
of the typical American commencement address, it would entail Famous
Person X coming to say to a group of distracted students: “Take
this one virtue (for which I am duly famous) and make it the theme
of your life.” Many in the audience would immediately sense that
we will never be as good as Dr. X at that Great Quality and feel
mildly (but permanently) disheartened. Still, the press grabs snippets
of the Great Counsel and splashes it on page A-1. Many are in awe
of the insight. Few are changed by it.
My purpose is
not to mock those accomplished souls who counsel our graduates.
It is to argue for companionship, balance, and mutual respect among
the virtues. No virtue by itself is sufficient. Love without law
is promiscuity. Decisiveness without compassion is tyranny. Open-mindedness
without moorings is faithlessness.
For a contemporary
example of imbalance, William Bennett has lectured Americans about
values for many of years. Lately he has gained additional renown
for losing millions of dollars on gambling. He protests that nothing
he did was illegal. Perhaps his millions lost in gambling would
be considered only expensive recreation if each of those dollars
was matched with a dollar given to charity. In the absence of a
higher (or balancing) cause, his gambling losses appear to be a
selfish addiction. (As Latter-day saints, we don’t recommend gambling
to anyone, of course.)
Honesty is often
touted as if it were the ruling virtue
and all others were only peasants. “I must be completely honest”
is a common introduction to an unwelcome lecture or the prelude
to a withering assault. Yet honesty without respect is just self-righteousness.
I have learned many lessons about balance from my own mistakes. I left for a
mission while still startlingly naïve. I had grown up among honest,
sincere, considerate relatives in a family enclave in Emigration Canyon. Having grown up among such good
people can be a major disadvantage when required to navigate among
people who may be relatively opaque, even disingenuous. As I became
aware of my great lack of discernment, I began to pray for heaven’s
help. I even went on preparation day to the community library to
consult psychology texts (which is a sure evidence of my naiveté---thinking
that psychology texts would help me understand normal human behavior!).
Unexpectedly, I found my mind filled with greater understanding
of motives as I sought that information in support of my mission
duties.
But there were
thorns in the rosebush of my newfound insight: creeping cynicism.
As I began to detect people’s hidden motives, I began to see the
darker side of human nature. Yet I knew that new insight should
serve a higher cause than undermining human sympathy. So I began
to pray for charity, that divine ability to see people sympathetically
even redemptively. Discernment without charity is mere disparaging.
As I have sought insight in balance with charity, I have been granted
the gift of discernment promised in my patriarchal blessing.
Another example, the desire to help must be matched by wisdom and good sense.
I have sometimes excused my faulty methods of helping with my good
intentions. God asks us to be wise as serpents while being as harmless
as doves (Matthew 10:16).
Balance is also necessary in learning. When asked by a student why some very
bright people leave the church, a respected teacher suggested that maybe it is possible to be just too smart.
While I love and admire that teacher, I recommend a different answer.
When our smartness and knowledge is not matched with faith and humility,
we are vulnerable to apostasy. “But to be learned is good if they
hearken unto the counsels of God” (2 Nephi 9:29). Knowledge needs faith as a companion.
When our scrupulousness in keeping the commandments is not matched with charity
for those who may be less able or less spiritually mature(or seem so), we become pharisaic. “Woe
unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for
ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the
weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these
ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone” (Matthew
23:23).
The
importance of balance is clearly evident in family life. When our
skills at communication are not fully matched with a desire to bless,
we become tyrants. When our desire to teach our children is not
yoked and harmonized with a commitment to nurture them, we are despots
(D&C 121). When we nurture children without teaching true principles,
we are negligent (D&C 68:25).
Sometimes excellence
has come to mean a narrow focus on a single quality. A solitary
virtue is a very lonely, austere reality. Godly virtues travel with
companions.
“Add
to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience;
and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness;
and to brotherly kindness charity” (2 Peter 1:5-7).
The focus on
a single virtue to the exclusion of others can be very dangerous.
Yet none of us is perfect. Our mortal qualities define our mortal
limitations. We simply are not able to be everything we should be
while still mortals. How can we reconcile the reality of our limitations
with the need for balance?
Probably there
is a place in each of our lives for three courses:
1. We can call
on God for those essential qualities to do what we are called to
do. He can enable us to do what is beyond our ability. Elder George
Q. Cannon counseled the saints
“If
any of us are imperfect, it is our duty to pray for the gift that
will make us perfect. Have I imperfections? I am full of them. What
is my duty? To pray to God to give me the gifts that will correct
these imperfections…. No man ought to say, "Oh, I cannot help
this; it is my nature." He is not justified in it, for the
reason that God has promised to give strength to correct these things
and to give gifts that will eradicate them…. That is the design
of God concerning His children.” (Gospel Truth, Vol. 1, p.196)
The
enthusiastic pray for temperance. The anxiously engaged seek humble
submission. The creative beseech heaven for integrity and obedience.
The easy-going strive for commitment. God can add companion virtues
to our native strengths.
2. We can draw on the strengths of those who are different from us. This is
especially important in marriage. While Nancy’s reflectiveness and sensitivity may be annoying
when I am in a hurry, she regularly rescues me from mindless rush.
My mother’s exuberance radiated from my father’s tapestry of faith
and peace. Our differences will bless us or afflict us depending
upon our charity. Ahhh, charity! Charity
is that quality of soul that liberates us to make creative use of
our differences. With charity we join our varied strengths in a
common cause.
3. We wait patiently for that perfect day. Our work of growth simply will not
be finished when we leave this world for the next. We actively seek
His refining influence, we draw on the strengths of others, and
we are patient with all who are still mortals.
If we are paying attention, life will clearly teach us that we simply cannot
do what must be done without divine help. God can provide patience
for the enthusiastic, a partner for the flawed, greater maturity
for those who seek it with faith.
We look forward to that day in Eternity when we will enjoy a fullness, when
we reach the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ (Ephesians
4:13). Until that welcome day, we are wise to seek
balance and call upon divine grace.
“Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie
in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance,
to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed” (D&C
123:17).
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