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Timing
Why Now and Not 20-30-or 40 Years Ago?
By Jilleen Mitchell
As told to Peggy H. Proctor 

When Pres. Madsen asked Jill to speak in Stake conference about her “reactivation,” Jill thought it might be more appropriately termed “conversion” since she, though baptized, had never really been converted.

There is no miracle like the miracle of conversion. It is the great process by which those with responsive hearts listen to the teachings and testimonies of missionaries and change their lives… There is no miracle quite like it in all the world.  [Stand a Little Taller, President Gordon B. Hinckley page 30]  

I did find out in my conversion process that not all missionaries wear dark suits and a name badge, but they do “follow His steps.” [1Peter2:21]

We must not, we cannot sink to the evils of the world--- to selfishness and sin, to hate and envy and backbiting…You and I must walk on a higher plane…Our great example is the Son of God whom we wish to follow. [ibid. page 34]

Why did I have to wait so long? --In the October issue of the Ensign Magazine, Dallin H. Oaks, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, presented a message entitled TIMING.   

As I read his article it made me think of many of the choices I’ve made in my 60+ years. As I thought back and put his article to work in my mind it was easy to see how timing plays a huge roll in our lives.”   

There are obvious things that come to mind:  Investing in the Stock market ---Saying yes to the choice job offer --- Close calls at the intersection.  The list goes on--- A “yes” here, a “no” there; how important these choices are as we look back on them--- so obvious now, why not then?

As I have listened to some bear testimony, they have born witness of many occasions accepting the still small voice --- and it has saved lives. 

Until two or three years ago, I never invited the Lord into my life. I may have heard the still small voice but I never acted on it.  I closed my mind, though the Lord tried on many occasions, I was too busy with other things.  Because I worked during the week, on His day, Sunday, I did our wash and then my husband and I played golf, went fishing or went to visit family or friends.  When the home teachers called for an appointment we were too busy to see them, --no, never on Sunday. We considered Sunday our day off and wondered why they didn’t take the day off.

The only time I saw my sister was at holiday dinners at mother’s home.  We exchanged gifts on birthdays and Christmas, but often we would drop them off and be gone. When I think now how important my sister has become to me, I am angry at myself for all the great times we missed.  We were too busy going in opposite directions to share a little love, and we only lived across town from each other.

This sister let the Lord into her home many years before I did.  Her second daughter has become as close to me as my own daughter, but I hardly knew her until I let the Lord enter my home.

We moved to St. George when my husband, Stan, was already quite ill.  This was a good move, though during the first few years we thought maybe we had made a mistake, I do know that the move added years to Stan’s life.  --The Lord still had not been invited in.  We had some fine Home Teachers and Relief Society Teachers that were quite dedicated, but the only time we saw them was one evening a month, --and not every month. 

Nothing Out of the Ordinary

One day something happened.  It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. We were assigned new Relief Society teachers and new Home Teachers, which happened quite regularly.  This time we met Bob & Gaylie Morehead.  Gaylie was assigned to be my visiting teacher and Bob was our home teacher.  They did all the right things. ---They invited us to church.  She invited me to Relief Society. I had always liked Relief Society. Over the years I had been a visiting teacher, I taught primary when my children were young, I was a Cub Scout leader for quite a few years, ---but never went to the Sunday meetings. I started going to Enrichment meetings with Gaylie. She always invited me to church but I always had an excuse not to go. She would always ask but didn’t let a “no” get in the way of our budding friendship. 

At the same time this was taking place Stan had been accepted to a Pulmonary Rehab program at the IHC Hospital.  We were talking about it one evening when Bob and Gaylie came to visit.  We discovered that Stan and Bob had common problems; they even had the same doctor.  Bob talked to his doctor about the rehab program and was accepted into the same group Stan was in.  Spouses and caregivers were asked to come to the meetings so they could help with the continuation of rehabilitation once the class was over.  The four of us became quite good friends.  

Gaylie was called to be Relief Society President at the Atria, an assisted care facility. Gaylie talked the bishop into asking me to be a helper.  I accepted, ---but I remember telling Bishop Taylor that I wasn’t accepting because he asked me, but for some reason or other I could not say no to Gaylie.  

I fell in love with the ladies at the Atria and the whole Relief Society program there and here.  I went home after the lessons each week and talked about them to Stan. He could see how much I was enjoying these weekly visits to the Atria.  Soon, as I would relate the lessons, he began to talk about them.  I remember during one of the lessons we learned all about the St George Temple. We were totally amazed to find out that this temple was the first temple finished in the west.  Stan would say that he would like to go through the temple visitor’s center as soon as he felt up to it.  

Mind you, Stan and I still did not attend church.  It took a surprise visit one Sunday afternoon, from a rather rowdy Bishopric, and a small remark that we all laughed about, to really open our eyes to what we should have been doing for many years.   After the three gentlemen left, Stan asked me if I had ever considered marriage in the temple.  I had to say honestly that I never had considered it.  We talked a lot that day. We wondered if it were at all possible.  We went to church the very next Sunday.  We talked to the Bishop and he started the ball rolling. Things moved quite rapidly after that.

We met many more people that were like Bob and Gaylie.  They lived the gospel every day of their lives and shared it with others like Stan and I.  For two people that were baptized members of the church you would not believe how little we knew.  We had to learn every thing, even how to pray. Doing it out loud still comes hard for me.

You cannot believe how happy my sister was when I called to let her know that we were taking the Temple Ready Classes.  She and I are the only members of our immediate family who are active church members.  She was with me every step of the way through happy times and some very sad times and still is.   When she wasn’t here, her daughter Sandra was.  They took Stan and me by the hand and moved us forward.   

We learned to pray, and ask the Lord for his help, and he gave it to us. 

A Mighty Change of Heart

We learned about repentance. This was the one that Stan had the hardest time with. I didn’t know why until much later. It wasn’t that he couldn’t and didn’t repent, he just had a difficult time accepting all parts of the process and on the other hand, that there was not more to it. In his mind he just thought that his sins were unforgivable. Eventually he did every part of the repentance process the lesson outlined. There are eight steps if you don’t remember. We had some really long talks about this.

Tithing actually came easy. We thought that would be the hard one. Hugs were hard; it was something I was just not used to. I thought everyone just shook hands.  

The word of wisdom was harder for me than Stan. When Stan made his mind up, it was a done thing.  The few times in the distant past that ward members were invited into our home, Stan would always let them know somewhere in the conversation that he enjoyed his beer and cigarettes.  I finally told him I was tired of hearing him brag about it and I was going to hit him over the head with something if he ever said it again.  ---But once he made up his mind to quit, he never looked back.  He quite smoking July 7th 1988, but it was already too late. The cigarettes had done too much damage to reverse the process.   

I was a long time coffee drinker and whenever I tried to quite over the years I would get these headaches and I just thought they would last forever so I would start the coffee again.  This time was really quite easy. The headaches went away in a few days. Prayer does help.  We studied the scriptures together.  It was the only project we did together that we didn’t argue about.  The gospel was different.  We enjoyed learning together.  We enjoyed all of it.

We were married in the St George Temple on February 5th of last year.  Stan died September 2nd of that same year.  Talk about “Timing.”  That two years of study and ward activity were some of the best years of the forty-nine we spent together and the time continues to be good for me because I know Stan is in a better place than he had been for a long time.  I believe very strongly that my life would have been very different today without our “conversion.”  I don’t think I would be smiling as much as I do if we had not accepted the move to St. George when we did.  These will be the years I want to remember when I think back of Stan’s and my years together. Oh we had good times and bad times just like most of you, a normal family life.  We all have happy and sad times in life, but Stan and I both became kinder and gentler people. Even our children noticed the difference.  We finally let the Lord’s time schedule take over. We invited him in with open arms.  Little did we know that the Lord comes in when you invite in those pesky visiting teachers, home teachers, and even a member of the Bishopric or two --or three. 

A few weeks ago in Relief Society, one of the sisters used a pigeonhole analogy, to make a point in the remarks she was making.  I think back and thank my lucky stars that Bob & Gaylie didn’t pigeonhole Stan and me. I’m very sure we were pigeonholed before that time.  I am so thankful that Bob and Gaylie took those 30 or 40 minutes each month to be outstanding examples of what the Lord expects each one of us to be.    

The Lord's Time Schedule

Dallin Oaks said in his article: “The familiar observation that ‘timing is everything’ surely overstates the point, but timing is vital.”  

We read in Ecclesiastes: “to every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven; A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted… A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance …A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing…A time to keep silence, and a time to speak.  

In all the important decisions in our lives what is most important is to do the right thing. Second, and only slightly behind the first, is to do the right thing at the right time.  Stan’s and my timing was way off. I know now that had we let the Lord in many years ago we would have had a much different and more fulfilled life.  I feel very strongly that the Lord’s influence would have gone on to our children and perhaps they would have invited the Lord into their lives by now. I just wish we had been on the Lord's time schedule in the early part of our married life than so close to the end.  However, to end on a happy note, our experience has proven that it is never too late to let the Lord in to your home and your life.

There are about 720 hours in every month.  A lot of you out there are visiting teachers and home teachers, and all of us are neighbors.  As you plan your time with each of your families try not to pigeonhole. Those families are more than likely the very ones who need that 30-minute block of your time. You will never know when that very small 30 minutes from all those monthly hours may trigger some thing that will put that family on the fast track to an eternal life.   And once again--- as Dallin Oaks would say, and I’m sure he won’t mind that I make them my words to you-

I pray that each of us will hear and heed the word of the Lord on how to conduct ourselves in mortality and set our standard and make our commitments so that we can be in harmony and in tune with the timing of our Father in Heaven.

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© 2003Meridian Magazine.  All Rights Reserved.

About the Editor:

Peggy Proctor is Meridian's Missionary Journal editor.

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