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Communication
for Missionaries by
Ed J. Pinegar
Communication is the
key to relationships in life and especially as we serve the Lord
as missionaries. Until we learn to communicate, no one will know
our hearts, no one will know the love we have for them, and no one
will know us. Communication is the key to building relationships
of trust. A strong relationship is vital to both the receiving and
giving of the blessings of the gospel.
To communicate with
others, we must first learn to communicate with the Father who gave
us life; learning to communicate with our Heavenly Father becomes
the foundation for all our communications.
We usually
call this communication prayer; we might even say mighty prayer.
In John the Beloved's gospel he said, "And this is life eternal,
that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom
thou hast sent" (John 17:3). Knowing God is an essential element
of communication. The Prophet Joseph Smith said that before you
can have faith in God, you must know Him and know His character
(see Lectures on Faith 4:1). Those of you who have had the privilege
of reading the Lectures on Faith know whereof I speak, for the first
lecture is all about the character and nature of God. Now that's
interesting, because if you look closely at your first discussion,
you will see it teaches that God is our Father, that He knows all,
and that He is all loving and all powerful. So, when we teach that
discussion, we plant the seeds of desire to know our Heavenly Father.
KNOWING
OUR FATHER
In section
67 of the Doctrine and Covenants, the Prophet received a revelation
in Hyrum, Ohio, about knowing God. Verse 10 is especially beautiful
because it relates specifically to missionaries: “And again,
verily I say unto you that it is your privilege, and a promise I
give unto you that have been ordained unto this ministry, that inasmuch
as you strip yourselves from jealousies [which are very bad] and
fears [which are not very good], and humble yourselves before me,
for ye are not sufficiently humble, the veil shall be rent and you
shall see me and know that I am—not with the carnal neither
natural mind, but with the spiritual." In other words, we can
never know our Father until we overcome jealousies and fears, and
humble ourselves.
Overcome
Jealousy with Love
What would you say is
the absolute antithesis, or opposite, of jealousy? It is love and
charity, because jealousy cannot coexist with those feelings. If
you find yourself feeling jealous of other people’s intellect,
their looks, their clothes, or their possessions, you know that
in your heart you lack the love of God, and the love of Christ—even
charity. It will be like a barometer. When you see somebody doing
something good or doing something better than you, maybe looking
better or wearing a nicer suit, you say, "Isn't that nice!
Isn't that beautiful! Boy, he did well on that, didn't he!"
Just watch yourself grow. You see, in the hereafter nobody is going
to ask you what car you drove, or how big your house was, or what
kind of hair you had (or, in my case, didn't have).
Look for opportunities
to praise people rather than tear them down. When you tear others
down, you go down with them. You dig your own pit. When you build
people up, you rise with them. Jealousy can be destroyed through
the power of love.
COMMUNICATING
WITH YOUR COMPANION
There are three
major areas to work on when communicating with your companion: expressing
your love, building trust, and using the words of the Spirit.
Express
Your Love
We must understand that
everybody really wants to be loved, and the people who seem the
most cocky are often the ones who are most in need of love. Take
the time to get down on the root level with your companion and district
leader and show love.
I had some glorious
experiences with the youth in our stake when we went on a pioneer
trek. We divided up into "families." There was simply
no one else for us to talk to but each other. All of a sudden we
were all forced to learn the process of communicating.
After three days in
the wilderness, a testimony meeting was held. I'll never forget
one boy who thought he was pretty cool. He stood up and said, “I
was with old Jason in our ward. I always thought that Jason was
such a nerd, I wouldn't have given him the time of day. But let
me tell you, Jason was in our family on this trek, and I got to
know him, and now I love Jason. He is my dear pal, and we'll be
friends forever. Oh, I love that guy! I wish I had taken the time
before this to become his pal."
You can save yourselves
a lot of problems during this earth life by expressing the love
of God and the love of Christ through communication. Whether it
be verbal, by touch, or by whatever means, please communicate your
love (see John 13:34–35). I know it takes time and it takes
effort, but nothing else you do during your mission will bring greater
rewards. And without communicating your love, true communication
simply won't occur.
Of course you won't
meet your companion and immediately say, "Oh, you're my companion,
and I love you!" That doesn't happen. Neither does "Oh,
we're married in the temple. Great! That's it for eternal life—super!”
It's like the man who said to his wife, when she was feeling unloved
and unappreciated, "I told you that I loved you and that if
it ever changed I'd let you know. So why are you so upset?"
We all need more than that. Even I need to be told every day that
I'm loved.
When my daughter Tricia
was a young girl she’d wait for me to get home every night.
When I’d come in the door she would greet me with, "Hi,
Daddy, I love ya!" My heart warmed, I smiled, and my burdens
were lifted.
In your communication,
start the process now of working with yourself and with your companion
and learning to express your love for each other and the great work
that you are doing together.
Adapted
from the book...The Ultimate Missionary Companion by Ed J. Pinegar,
Covenant Books. Go to ldsleadership.com
for more about missionary books and tapes.
Ed
J. Pinegar graduated
from BYU in 1956 with a degree in chemistry and mathematics. He
played basketball and tennis for BYU. He attended dental school
at the University of Southern California and graduated in 1961.
Between 1962 and 1964 he served as a Captain in the United States
Army. While attending dental school, he taught early morning seminary.
Upon returning to Provo to begin his dental practice, he again taught
early morning seminary and taught the Book of Mormon and Gospel
Principles and Practices at BYU for 18 years. Brother Pinegar recently
retired from the faculty at the Orem Institute of Religion at Utah
Valley State College.
Some
of Brother Pinegar's former Church callings include: member of the
General Board for Young Men and Aaronic Priesthood; President of
the England London South Mission, President of the Missionary Training
Center in Provo Utah; and member of the Missionary Programs Advisory
Committee, Temple Sealer and Bishop (twice) and presently serves
as President of the BYU 20th Stake and as a Church Service Missionary
at the Senior MTC.
Brother
Pinegar is the author of several LDS books, including You, Your
Family and the Scriptures, Fatherhood, The Mighty Change (with
Elaine Cannon), Called to Serve Him, and Preparing
for Your Missionand most recently The Ultimate Missionary
Companion andLatter Day Commentary on the Old Testament,
Lengthen Your Shuffle and soon to be released Leadership for Saints
and Latter-day Commentary on the New testament gospels . He
has also produced numerous talk tapes including many "Especially
for Missionaries." He has taught in many Continuing Education programs
and was a recipient of the Excellence in Teaching Award from the
Division in 1979. He also received the Outstanding Young Man of
the Year Award and Service to Mankind Award and in 1998 received
the Donald Sloan Speaker Award from BYU.
Brother
Pinegar is married to Patricia Peterson, who was recently released
as General President of the Primary for the Church, and they are
the parents of eight children and have thirty-two grandchildren
and one great-grand child.
