Defining
Spirit and Soul
by
Diane Tuck and Peggy Proctor
Back in the
mid 60's, I was a young Mom, fresh out of college and fresh into
marriage. I was lonely for friendship and seeking a faith I could
believe in. I had been raised in a faith that I felt was very political
and unable to answer my questions. Members of another faith came
knocking on my door and were so warm and friendly, I invited them
in. They easily showed me, in my Bible, how the churches of Christendom
erred and how the teachings of their own church were correct. I
studied with them for a few months and then we moved and moved again.
Eventually we settled in Fayetteville Arkansas. I missed the friendliness
and instruction of the people who taught me before I moved, so I
looked them up in the phone book and they came once again.
These people
had been teaching me for a few months when I was surprised by Mormon
missionaries knocking at my door. Because I was seeking knowledge
and truth, I started studying with them also. Both parties knew
I was studying with the other. I really enjoyed what the Mormons
taught, however, one day we discussed the difference between spirit
and soul. On this point we diverged, and I was certain that I had
to be right! I was so sure of myself and so filled with self-righteousness
that I scared the boys away. Reflecting back, I can just imagine
how awful I must have been for them to leave and never return.
I was baptized
into the other faith and raised my five children in it for close
to ten years. During that time we were expected to go door to door.
I would try, I really would, but my stomach would churn, and I would
be so physically upset that I was not able to. There were other
things that I didn't agree with. They discouraged children having
friends outside their faith. If one's marriage partner did not agree
with the faith, they encouraged the breakup of the family. They
discouraged the reading of any religious literature other than their
own. And if a person does not stay true to the beliefs, when he
dies, there is no hope for him, period! I was pressured more and
more to go tracting, and I gradually went to their meetings less
and less. As I said previously, I was sorry the Mormons did not
return. I wished they would, but I didn't call them.
My husband had
family who were LDS, but they never talked much about their beliefs.
In the mid 70's,
we found ourselves in Oregon, close to some LDS cousins. Uncle Lloyd
Harris told us much about his faith and included us in his family,
however, I was so sure that I was right and everyone else was wrong,
I just didn't budge.
I noticed an
ad in the paper, inviting those of my faith to listen to a recording.
I worked up the nerve to call. After that, I called every week,
when the message changed. At the end of the message, there was an
offer to speak to someone. I finally called. It was a Baptist lay
preacher, and he said if I would give him four hours of my time,
he would show me that the faith I professed was false doctrine and
he would show this using only literature from my faith. Well, he
showed me in less than four hours. I knew that what he said was
true and wrote my church to ask that my name be removed from their
rolls.
I was shunned.
Some of the members saw my children in a store and offered to help
them go to church, but told them that I was lost; there was no hope
for their mother. My daughter, who was very young, still remembers
that experience.
Once you have
been a part of that faith, it is very hard to accept another. The
Baptist minister told me that in most cases, former members of my
faith never become involved in another religion. I understood, because
they did such a terrific job of convincing me that every other religion
is wrong.
As I look back
over the next decade, I was still seeking. I read books on just
about every faith imaginable. Unbeknownst to me the Holy Ghost never
stopped nudging. I had a curiosity about the Book of Mormon, but
wouldn't read one. I developed an appreciation for the LDS Church,
but felt I didn't need to belong to any church.
My husband and
I took a trip through Utah in the early 90's, and I caught myself
saying, "I think I could possibly join the Mormon Church".
Then saying, "Oh, probably not."
My husband wasn't
into religion at all. His Mormon step-grandmother tried to take
him to church, but he wouldn't stay. (Actually, he would leave his
class to go to the bathroom and crawl out the window and run home).
His step-grandfather was a rancher and was generally out at the
ranch, too far from church to attend, and he taught my husband to
worship God out on the range. So out on the range was good enough
for him. As for me, I had made one massive mistake, and didn’t want
to make another.
Then we went
to an LDS funeral, ---that blew me away! Neat, clean-cut kids;
nice, lovely people. No cussing! No smoking! And then this great
talk replaying the person's life. I was impressed.
We soon moved
out to the ranch. Mormon relatives were all around! Still, no one
pushed anything on me. They were just all very kind, caring people.
When my son and his wife moved out to the ranch with us, for some
reason, I thought it would help her to go to the Mormon church,
and mentioned it to her, and asked a cousin to take her. The cousin
said, "Why don’t you come?"
Why didn’t I?
The cousin started
taking her to church, and I decided that I should be a supportive
mother-in-law and go too. The first time I set foot in the building,
it felt so "right"! I commented to the bishop, how nice
it was there. I could not define what I felt. When I first started
attending meetings, I thought, how am I going to get up every Sunday
morning and drive 16 miles down a bumpy dirt road to go to a church?
It was never a problem, --- getting up, getting in a dress and going
to church just came naturally, like I had been doing it forever!
Strange.
Soon my daughter-in-law
was listening to the discussions. The nicest people brought the
missionary sisters out to the ranch. I was invited to sit in but
declined. I thought, what if I question these people and scare them
off and my daughter-in-law too? I didn't want to ruin it for her,
so I stayed away--- but I would come out and visit with them before
and after the lessons. On my daughter-in-law’s second to last lesson,
this really neat lady came with the missionaries. I was drawn to
her. I took her outside and showed her a nine hundred-year-old Indian
grave that I was caring for. She went back into the house and took
a Book of Mormon from one of the missionaries and looked up dates
in it, so that we could determine where this Indian fit in the Book
of Mormon timeline. She then gave me the book and suggested that
I read Alma. The next week she came back, and this time I sat in
on the last lesson. I asked the question that no one had ever given
me a satisfactory answer to: "What happens to all those people
who never had the opportunity to learn of Jesus Christ?" The
sister missionary sweetly replied, with no hesitation; "God
knows their hearts! They will be given an opportunity to learn and
accept the gospel.”
My daughter-in-law
was baptized shortly after that.
During this
time, I had occasion to attend another Mormon funeral. The brother
who gave the talk felt impressed to say that the deceased told him,
when she realized she had little time left, to tell the people that
this Church is true! ---As I left the service, I felt that I had
to go up to him and tell him that the statement had touched my heart.
He told me that he had wondered who it was that he had said that
for, because he had not planned on saying that during the service.
I left there feeling that I really wanted to have the faith and
understanding that this sister had had.
Shortly after
this, one of the missionaries was transferred, but before she left,
she asked me if I would take the lessons. I said that I would. When
the sisters asked me to pray with a humble heart over the Book of
Mormon to see if it were true, I did, and was given a very strong
testimony of the truth of the Book of Mormon and the Church.
Three months
later, I was baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter
Day Saints. I gave testimony to the truth of the gospel, before
being baptized. That was in 1998.
By 1999 my daughter-in-law
had fallen away, but I have not. While she still lived nearby, I
would take her boys with me to church. As three were hard to cope
with, my husband started going too. (He didn't crawl out of any
windows either). Next my daughter, Christina moved to San Manuel
(where our ward is), and I asked her to go with us to church and
bring her girls.
As each girl
turned eight, we had a baptism.
Though Christina
had not been baptized, she talked her friend Angie into taking the
lessons and very recently, Angie was baptized-- in Tucson. We went
to Angie's baptism, then to her confirmation, The next week, Angie
came to visit our ward and the Bishop introduced himself, congratulated
her and asked (for the millionth time)," How about you, Christina?"
She said, "OK!" We all about fell over!
Christina had
all her lessons in one night, was interviewed the next, and was
baptized the following Sunday.
I was told that
I was the pioneer in my family. I feel that the Lord is starting
to gather my family in. My husband is pretty shy, but I know he
believes this church is true. I will not give up on him or the rest
of my family. I pray for them and I won't give up on any of them!
--- Joseph Smith restored the true Church of Jesus Christ to us
on earth. ---As I reflect on all those past years, there were many
times that I was urged to turn my attention to this Church. I am
so happy that I finally did. I am a visiting teacher, a visiting
teacher supervisor, a relief society teacher and a family history
worker. I hold a temple recommend, have my patriarchal blessing
and have been helping my ancestors receive their ordinances, all
in a span of less than four years. These are the best times of my
life, as I help the Lord lead and gather my family in. I was a very
shy person who never thought of herself as a teacher or leader of
any kind!
It’s amazing
what we can do in the Lord’s hands.
Epilogue
My daughter, Christina, was called to be a primary girl’s achievement
director on the day she was confirmed into the church, and is now
a visiting teacher.
Angie has been
very busy. Her oldest son, his girlfriend, and Angie's sister are
all being baptized in April! She too, has a church calling
in activities, and is a visiting teacher. In her genealogy work
(that she says I inspired her to do), she recently found her grandmother's
brother and reunited her grandmother and great uncle by telephone.
Each one thought the other was dead. One lives in Texas and the
other Arizona. So the work goes on with many blessings.
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