Week 3 of June:
The Value of Justice and Mercy
In Connection
with Richard and Linda Eyre
Editor's
note: This month of June the Meridian Family Value
of the month is Justice and Mercy. Click here
to read this month's overview article). Each week
during the month we will post an update in Meridian,
illustrating a couple of the Eyres' favorite methods
for teaching This important value to each age group.
Remember that you can also go to http://www.valuesparenting.com/ for
still more ideas and teaching methods. Thanks for
your interest and participation. There are tens
of thousands of parents concentrating on this value
this month. It is a way of saving this somewhat
unkind and unfriendly society of ours — one family
at a time! Send us your feedback, and if you want
a free children's CD on the value of Honesty, see
the instructions at the bottom of this article.
Methods
for Preschoolers
Simple Memorizing
This is a good way
to help older preschoolers stay conscious of the
sharing-caring-fairness mentality. If children do
not understand the meaning of the word rhyme,
explain it to them and illustrate it with nursery
rhymes or simple poems. Then tell them that there
are three words that rhyme with each other that
help everyone to be happier. They are fair,
care, and share. Talk about what each
one means, and see if the child can remember all
three.
Then, periodically,
say to a child (especially when he needs it), “Can
you remember the three rhyming words?”
Methods for Elementary
School Age
Sun and Cloud Game
This will help younger
elementary-age children see that they can make themselves
happy or miserable depending on their ability to
repent and forgive. Cut a yellow sun and a black
cloud out of construction paper, along with two
stick men or figures labeled “Billy” and “Jane.”
Set Billy and Jane on the floor and tell the following
situations. Have the children put the sun over the
head of the child who will be made happy by his
actions and the cloud over the child whose actions
will make him sad.
Role Reversal
This will help children
see things from your perspective, and you from theirs.
When a serious disagreement
arises concerning obedience in a particular matter,
sit back for a moment, let things calm down, and
then ask the child to pretend he’s the mommy or
daddy and you are the child. Set the stage for him.
Tell him why he wants you, the child, to
do (or not do) the particular thing. Then start
the game.
Be a convincing “child.”
Play the role well and make your “parent” explain
to you why he wants you to obey.
Some children role-play
more naturally than others, but all children can
learn the technique, and often it can be very helpful.
Methods for Adolescents
Story: Olga and
the Rock
Encourage adolescents
to put things right in their lives rather than to
let problems go and ignore them by telling the following
story:
In the old country
a woman named Olga had committed a serious sin.
Her friend, Helga, a gossipy and self-righteous
woman, told her she would have to go to the old
sage who lived on the hill and ask him how to repent.
Helga went along with her.
When thy got to
the sage’s house, he listened to Olga’s confession
and told her to go into his garden and bring him
the very large stone from the path. Olga obediently
went out to do so. While she was gone, the old sage
looked at Helga and said, “While we’re waiting,
will you please take this bag and gather all the
small stones you can find and bring them here to
me.”
When both women
returned — Olga, straining under the huge rock,
and Helga with her bag of small stones — the sage
said, “Now I will teach you of repentance. Olga,
put the large stone back exactly where it was. Helga,
put each of your small stones back exactly where
it was — do not mix any of them up.”
Discuss the story.
Ask why little mistakes need to be corrected and
“put right” as soon as possible.
While living in London,
we took our adolescent children to the marvelous
musical Les Miserables, based on Victor Hugo’s
classic novel. The story centers around the conflict
between justice and mercy. Jean Valjean, a former
prisoner and convict, is rehabilitated by the mercy
and compassion of a priest. He becomes a great contributor,
helper and giver. Javert, his former jailer and
later a policeman and magistrate, believe only in
an ironclad, unforgiving form of justice and seeks
to re-imprison Jean Valjean on parole violations.
As we left the theater,
we were glowing with the power and feeling of the
music and the message. Then our thirteen-year-old
said something that worth more than any of it. He
observed, “This is the first time I’ve ever understood
how terrible laws and justice can be without any
kind of forgiveness and mercy.”
More methods for
each age group next week — see you then.
Closing
Note: Many have asked if there are actual teaching
tools to assist parents in teaching the Meridian
family value of the month to their children. The
Eyres have been involved with a series of values-teaching
CDs called Alexander's Amazing Adventures, which
give 5-14 year old children a vicarious (and dramatic)
experience with each month's value. By special arrangement,
Meridian readers who have been following this column
and participating in the value of the month can
now receive, as a free gift, the HONESTY CD from
this series. Simply send a self-addressed, stamped
5 X 7 or 8 X 10 envelope (the padded ones are best)
to the Eyres at 1098 Augusta Way, Salt Lake City,
Utah, 84108 and they will send you the gift CD.
(You will need to put $0.87 [87cents] in stamps
or postage on your return envelope.) Please respond
only if you have been reading and following the
column, and please do not ask for more than one
copy of the CD. We hope this gift will help make
the value-of-the-month concept even more effective
within your family.
