Week
3 of January: Loyalty and Dependability
In Connection with Richard and Linda
Eyre
Editor’s Note: This month the Meridian Family Value of the month is Loyalty and Dependability. Click here to read the beginning of the month’s overview article). Each week during the month we will post an update in Meridian, illustrating a couple of the Eyres’ favorite methods for teaching this important value to each age group. Remember that you can also go to www.valuesparenting.com for still more ideas and teaching methods. Thanks for your interest and participation. There are tens of thousands of parents concentrating on this value this month. Strength in numbers! Next week there will be one more update on this value, and then on to the February value.
Methods for Preschoolers
The Pick-the-Right-Answer Game
This game can help small children who have started reading to understand and even use the words loyal and dependable.
Prepare a “window pane” chart that shows the two words and their opposites:
| Dependable |
Undependable |
| Loyal |
Disloyal |
Explain that you are going to tell a little story about several different people and you want the child to point to the word on the chart that describes how the person is acting or behaving.
- Timmy’s dad asked him if he would stack up some bricks in the garage. Timmy said he would, but he forgot and didn’t do it. (undependable)
- Janet’s school class planned to have a car wash in the school parking lot to raise money. Those who could were asked to come and help, but no one had to come. Janet came and brought some towels and a bucket. (loyal — to her school)
- Crissy’s family job was to set the table each night for dinner. She almost always remembered to do it without her mother reminding her. (dependable)
- Tammy was with two girls on the bus one day when one of the girls said some bad things that weren’t true about Tammy’s best friend Jill. Tammy didn’t say anything. (disloyal — to her friend)
- Jason’s little brother had a Little League game one night. Jason had a lot of homework, but he worked hard at it until game time and then went to cheer for his brother. (loyal — to his brother)
- The elderly widow who lived next door to Mary had a favorite plant that needed watering every day. She asked Mary if she would water it for a week while she went on vacation. Mary did it for four days, but then she forgot. (undependable)
- Alice always thought about the Pledge of Allegiance when her class said it. She felt proud to be an American. (loyal — to her country)
Methods for Elementary School Age
Stories
These can help children feel and live situations of loyalty and dependability vicariously. Elementary-age children are the easiest age to make up stories for. This month tell them a bedtime story or two (out of your own mind) about dependability or loyalty. Example topics: A spy story — someone who was a disloyal traitor. A sports story — maybe a member of a relay team who was tired after his individual event but still ran the relay because he was loyal to his team. A harvest story — a child who watered his garden consistently and dependably and was rewarded with a good harvest.
Metaphor of Constructing a Building
This can help children understand that “doing one’s part” is a key part of loyalty. Ask children to imagine that there were 100 people who wanted to build a brick wall and that the wall would need 10,000 bricks. How many bricks would each person have to put up if they all helped?(100) How many bricks would each person have to put up if only 10 helped? (1,000) Make the point that when people are loyal, everything is more pleasant and more fair.
Methods for Adolescents
Lists
These help older children pinpoint who and what they want to be loyal to and what things they want to be dependable on. Work together with the children on forming a loyalty list (family members, school, church, friends, etc.) and a dependability list (family job, school, assignments, music practice, etc.).
Discussion of True Friendship
Summarize the value of dependability and loyalty. Ask adolescents what they think is the most important and valuable quality in a friend. Challenge them to think of any more important or more crucial factor than loyalty and dependability.