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Dealing With Our Own “Handicaps”

by Rodger Dean Duncan and Ed J. Pinegar

Challenge:

My bishop has called me to a leadership position, but I’m a bit embarrassed by my handicap.

Opportunity:

If what you refer to as a “handicap” involves lack of experience or skills, just identify the more critical ones and work hard to acquire them. With diligent practice, your confidence and competence will increase. If what you call your “handicap” is a physical situation, consider how the Lord’s looks at it. Does he regard your “handicap” as a reason to forfeit a chance to serve? Does he regard your “handicap” as a reason not to share the gifts you have? Of course not. In the eyes of the Lord, physical “handicaps” are irrelevant.

Some people even regard age as a “handicap.” My grandfather said dealing with age is simply mind over matter: “If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

And consider the inspiration you can be to others. I recall an experience years ago in my home ward. A young man was just ordained a priest and it was his turn to administer the sacrament for the first time. He had a severe hearing disorder, and this affected his speech. When he tried to offer the sacrament prayer, he stumbled over the words. Because this is a priesthood ordinance that must be word-perfect, the young priest had to say the prayer five or six times before he got it right. I’ve heard the sacrament prayers thousands of times over the years, and they have never been more beautiful to me than when that faithful young man struggled past his “handicap” to request the blessings of heaven in behalf of our congregation.

All of us have “handicaps.” Some of them are obvious, as when President Howard W. Hunter, paralyzed from an illness, stood braced at the podium to speak in the Tabernacle. Many “handicaps” are not so obvious. The question for us is do we trust the Lord to accept our offerings of faithful service. You can be sure that He does.

– Rodger Dean Duncan

Challenge:

Some of the people I lead are not doing their duty. I’ve dealt with this in other settings, and have some good ideas on how to handle it. Is it necessary to ask the Lord for guidance if I already know what to do?

Opportunity:

The missionary was struggling. He had many concerns. He was frustrated and overwhelmed, he came to me wanting to go home. He was tired of the work and unable to perform. As I looked at him, my heart was saddened. And yet my empathy for him was deep and I wanted to help. As we began to visit, I realized he needed something more than just, “Come on, you can do it.” Suddenly the Spirit spoke to me. Section 121 came into my heart and I said, “Elder, you’re not keeping your commitments. Elder, you’re not doing what the Lord asked you to do. You’re not being the person you’re supposed to be.” This comment from his mission president caused him to be a bit downtrodden. Then the Spirit began to work with him and he said, “You’re right, President. I’ve got to change and I can do it.” Within a matter of seconds he realized who he was and what he needed to do and he made a commitment and everything was just wonderful. He said, “I’ll stay. I’ll work hard.” And the elder did stay and he did work hard.

Well, following this event of success, through chastisement as inspired by the Spirit, I had occasion to visit another elder. Similar situation—didn’t like to work, struggling a little bit, thought about maybe going home. I thought, “Oh, I know what to do.” So, without taking the time to pray I just lit in and began to chastise the elder. “You aren’t working hard. You know you should be doing better,” and all those things without any direction of the Spirit, because I’d had success previously. Success was my worst enemy. Everyone is different and everyone needs special care. I failed to practice empathy, and so this elder said, “You’re right. That’s where I am and that’s why I’m going home. I’m not going to work. I’m no good,” and the interview was simply horrible. I suggested that he think about it and we would get together soon to make the plans.

He returned to his area and I was just sick. I thought, “What have I done?” The next day, not being able to sleep much that night, I drove quickly down to the district meeting and met with the elder, begged his forgiveness and said, “Elder, we can work it out. We’ve just got to go a little slower. I understand, . . .” and lo and behold, the Spirit touched his heart, as the Spirit had touched my heart. Both elders were blessed and I learned an important lesson.

Success can be your worst enemy when you think the same treatment works for a different person. Each person is different, each person needs love, each person needs understanding. When you’re counseling, counsel by the Spirit, for each individual has particular needs and concerns. Blanket solutions can be dangerous. I learned that when counseling someone we must always seek the direction of the Lord.

– Ed J. Pinegar

Quotes Worth Remembering

I sometimes wonder what would happen to this Church if we ran for office. We do not seek office, we do not resist calls to service, we accept releases willingly when they come, and we serve until we are honorably released. … In the Church and kingdom of God there is no unimportant office or calling or service. … It is essential to all we do in our ministry that it be done with “an eye single to the glory of God” (D&C 4:5). That should be our primary motive. We have not been called to build up ourselves, but to build the kingdom of God. We shall be instrumental in achieving this momentous goal as we magnify our callings and honor the Lord. – Ezra Taft Benson

The Church is the great reservoir of eternal truth from which we can constantly and freely drink. It is the preserver of standards, the teacher of values. Latch onto those values. Bind them to your hearts. Let them become the lodestar of your lives to guide you as you move forward in the world of which you will become an important part. – Gordon B. Hinckley

And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children. – Isaiah 54:13

Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that he was a parent before you were parents and he has not relinquished his parental rights or interest in these his little ones. – Gordon B. Hinckley

Behold thou hast a gift, and blessed art thou because of thy gift. Remember it is sacred and cometh from above. – D&C 6:10

You need never feel inferior. You need never feel that you were born without talents or without opportunities to give them expression. There is something of divinity in you. You have such tremendous potential because of your inherited nature. Every one of you was endowed by your Father in Heaven with a tremendous capacity to do good in the world. Cultivate the art of being kind, of being thoughtful, of being helpful. Refine within you the quality of mercy which comes as a part of the divine attributes you have inherited. – Gordon B, Hinckley

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