Leadership for Saints:
Part 68
Dealing With Our Own “Handicaps”
by Rodger Dean Duncan and Ed J. Pinegar
Challenge:
My bishop has called me to a leadership position,
but I’m a bit embarrassed by my handicap.
Opportunity:
If what you refer to as a “handicap” involves lack
of experience or skills, just identify the more critical ones
and work hard to acquire them. With diligent practice, your confidence
and competence will increase. If what you call your “handicap”
is a physical situation, consider how the Lord’s looks at it.
Does he regard your “handicap” as a reason to forfeit a chance
to serve? Does he regard your “handicap” as a reason not to share
the gifts you have? Of course not. In the eyes of the Lord, physical
“handicaps” are irrelevant.
Some people even regard age as a “handicap.” My
grandfather said dealing with age is simply mind over matter:
“If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
And consider the inspiration you can be to others.
I recall an experience years ago in my home ward. A young man
was just ordained a priest and it was his turn to administer the
sacrament for the first time. He had a severe hearing disorder,
and this affected his speech. When he tried to offer the sacrament
prayer, he stumbled over the words. Because this is a priesthood
ordinance that must be word-perfect, the young priest had to say
the prayer five or six times before he got it right. I’ve heard
the sacrament prayers thousands of times over the years, and they
have never been more beautiful to me than when that faithful young
man struggled past his “handicap” to request the blessings of
heaven in behalf of our congregation.
All of us have “handicaps.” Some of them are obvious,
as when President Howard W. Hunter, paralyzed from an illness,
stood braced at the podium to speak in the Tabernacle. Many “handicaps”
are not so obvious. The question for us is do we trust the Lord
to accept our offerings of faithful service. You can be sure that
He does.
– Rodger Dean Duncan
Challenge:
Some of the people I lead are not doing their duty.
I’ve dealt with this in other settings, and have some good ideas
on how to handle it. Is it necessary to ask the Lord for guidance
if I already know what to do?
Opportunity:
The missionary was struggling. He had many concerns.
He was frustrated and overwhelmed, he came to me wanting to go
home. He was tired of the work and unable to perform. As I looked
at him, my heart was saddened. And yet my empathy for him was
deep and I wanted to help. As we began to visit, I realized he
needed something more than just, “Come on, you can do it.” Suddenly
the Spirit spoke to me. Section 121 came into my heart and I said,
“Elder, you’re not keeping your commitments. Elder, you’re not
doing what the Lord asked you to do. You’re not being the person
you’re supposed to be.” This comment from his mission president
caused him to be a bit downtrodden. Then the Spirit began to work
with him and he said, “You’re right, President. I’ve got to change
and I can do it.” Within a matter of seconds he realized who he
was and what he needed to do and he made a commitment and everything
was just wonderful. He said, “I’ll stay. I’ll work hard.” And
the elder did stay and he did work hard.
Well, following this event of success, through
chastisement as inspired by the Spirit, I had occasion to visit
another elder. Similar situation—didn’t like to work, struggling
a little bit, thought about maybe going home. I thought, “Oh,
I know what to do.” So, without taking the time to pray I just
lit in and began to chastise the elder. “You aren’t working hard.
You know you should be doing better,” and all those things without
any direction of the Spirit, because I’d had success previously.
Success was my worst enemy. Everyone is different and everyone
needs special care. I failed to practice empathy, and so this
elder said, “You’re right. That’s where I am and that’s why I’m
going home. I’m not going to work. I’m no good,” and the interview
was simply horrible. I suggested that he think about it and we
would get together soon to make the plans.
He returned to his area and I was just sick. I
thought, “What have I done?” The next day, not being able to sleep
much that night, I drove quickly down to the district meeting
and met with the elder, begged his forgiveness and said, “Elder,
we can work it out. We’ve just got to go a little slower. I understand,
. . .” and lo and behold, the Spirit touched his heart, as the
Spirit had touched my heart. Both elders were blessed and I learned
an important lesson.
Success can be your worst enemy when you think
the same treatment works for a different person. Each person is
different, each person needs love, each person needs understanding.
When you’re counseling, counsel by the Spirit, for each individual
has particular needs and concerns. Blanket solutions can be dangerous.
I learned that when counseling someone we must always seek the
direction of the Lord.
– Ed J. Pinegar
Quotes Worth Remembering
I
sometimes wonder what would happen to this Church if we ran for
office. We do not seek office, we do not resist calls to service,
we accept releases willingly when they come, and we serve until
we are honorably released. … In the Church and kingdom of God there is no unimportant office or calling or service. … It is essential
to all we do in our ministry that it be done with “an eye single
to the glory of God” (D&C 4:5). That should be our primary
motive. We have not been called to build up ourselves, but to
build the kingdom of God. We shall be instrumental
in achieving this momentous goal as we magnify our callings and
honor the Lord. – Ezra Taft Benson
The
Church is the great reservoir of eternal truth from which we can
constantly and freely drink. It is the preserver of standards,
the teacher of values. Latch onto those values. Bind them to your
hearts. Let them become the lodestar of your lives to guide you
as you move forward in the world of which you will become an important
part. – Gordon B. Hinckley
And
all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall
be the peace of thy children.
– Isaiah 54:13
Never
forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God
and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that he was
a parent before you were parents and he has not relinquished his
parental rights or interest in these his little ones. – Gordon
B. Hinckley
Behold
thou hast a gift, and blessed art thou because of thy gift. Remember
it is sacred and cometh from above. – D&C 6:10
You
need never feel inferior. You need never feel that you were born
without talents or without opportunities to give them expression.
There is something of divinity in you. You have such tremendous
potential because of your inherited nature. Every one of you was
endowed by your Father in Heaven with a tremendous capacity to
do good in the world. Cultivate the art of being kind, of being
thoughtful, of being helpful. Refine within you the quality of
mercy which comes as a part of the divine attributes you have
inherited. – Gordon B, Hinckley
Note:
The excerpts of Leadership for Saints posted on Meridian
are only a fraction of the contents of this 349-page book. To
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