Meridian Magazine : : Print

Holding Others Accountable Without Offending
by Rodger Dean Duncan and Ed J. Pinegar

Great leadership requires constant learning. Every calling you receive in the Church is a laboratory experience, the chance to observe, to listen, to learn, to try. Ordinary people can accomplish extraordinary things when they exercise faith and obedience and when they believe in and apply correct principles.

Every leadership calling offers challenges and opportunities. Adversity brings a chance to learn valuable lessons. Set-backs are often steppingstones to improvement.

In these final excerpts we offer our humble responses to some of the questions we’re often asked about leadership. These responses are not intended to be all-inclusive – only to demonstrate that regardless of the situation, every challenge is an opportunity to practice a correct principle.

Challenge:

The people I lead aren’t as reliable as they should be. How can I hold them accountable without offending them?

Opportunity:

Early in my Church membership I was blessed with a leader who refused to play the mediocrity game. I was a freshman at Baylor University, where I had enrolled only five weeks after my baptism. Bishop Roy D. Hoppie of the Waco (Texas) Ward called me to serve as deacons quorum advisor. I enjoyed working with the boys and became pretty good at preparing and presenting priesthood lessons.

One December Saturday night that first semester I stayed up very late studying for exams. When the alarm clock jolted me awake the next morning, I groggily turned it off, rolled over, and returned to sleep. In a far corner of my mind a rationalization had formed: “It’s okay to miss priesthood today. I’m tired. Besides, someone else can fill in for me. I’ll never be missed.”

I thought nothing more of it. Until that evening.

After sacrament meeting (these were the days before the three-hour block of meetings), Bishop Hoppie asked if he could talk with me a moment in his office. I assumed he wanted to tell me again what a bright young man he thought I was and how grateful he was to have me in the ward.

But Bishop Hoppie was in no mood for chitchat: “Brother Duncan, this morning you failed the Lord!” he said.

I was startled by his abruptness. Yet the bishop had only begun. “You probably assumed you wouldn’t be missed in priesthood today,” he continued. “You figured that someone else would fill in for you in your assignment.” It was incredible. The bishop was repeating practically the same words that had passed through my slumbering brain early that morning.

Then he softened his voice—as if to soothe my shock—and proceeded to teach me one of the most important lessons of my early Church experience. “A call to serve in the Lord’s Church is sacred,” he said. “Excellence is the only standard by which we have a right to measure our performance. When the Lord gives us an assignment, he is extending to us his trust and confidence. Our integrity is on the line. Integrity isn’t always convenient, but true commitment to the Lord can be based on nothing less.”

The blunt counsel from Bishop Hoppie—a wonderful deep-voiced Teddy Bear of a man—literally set the course for all my future service in the Church. Through scores of other assignments during the 40 years since then, I’ve always remembered his wise words: “When you’re released ‘with a vote of thanks,’ be sure you’ve earned it. There are no slackers on the Lord’s team.”

Bishop Hoppie wisely understood the importance of holding people lovingly accountable for serving with “exactness.”1 He also understood how easy it is to fall into the trap of unconsciously colluding with each other and accepting less than our best. Elder Neal A. Maxwell put this in perspective. He wrote: “One wonders if the tolerance of unnecessary mediocrity in others isn’t at some deep level of consciousness, a way of protecting ourselves or excusing ourselves for our own personal mediocrity. In human relationships there are too many tacit, silent deals in which one person agrees not to demand full measure, if the other person will agree to mediocrity when excellence may be possible.”

I’m grateful for a bishop like Roy Durlin Hoppie. He was a sensitive, loving man who knew precisely when bluntness was needed to hammer home a principle. His straight talk saved me from a dangerous habit. It’s made an important difference in my life.

Even if you’re not comfortable being as forthright as my bishop was, you might at least say something to your co-workers like: “This is the Lord’s work, and he deserves our best. Will you give the Lord your commitment to . . .” You get the idea. Loving, straight talk. It’s a correct principle, and the spirit will help you know what to say.

– Rodger Dean Duncan

Challenge:

People often love their callings and become closely attached to those they serve. It’s time for their release and they struggle in the situation. How can we let go of our callings upon our release?

Opportunity:

I was a young bishop, nearing the time for my release. I was sad. I loved the ward so much and yet it was time to pass the torch of leadership. A new young man had been called – a fine man with a lovely wife and small children, and I thought to myself, “But he doesn’t know the ward members like I know them. He doesn’t love them like I do. He doesn’t understand all their needs.” And I thought, “Oh, Heavenly Father, what will happen to all these great people I love? Will they be okay? I’m their bishop and I’m the only one who’s known them. How will they manage without me?” And so my mind was in turmoil.

The day of my release ended, and as night came and I was visiting with the stake president’s counselor. He looked at me and he said, “Brother Ed, I know how you’re feeling.” He was a discerning man. “You know, they’re going to love the new bishop. In six months many will be moved to a new ward. Yes, they’ll still remember you fondly. But you must remember that the Lord is in charge and those whom He calls will be magnified to bless them. So don’t worry about the ward. They’re in good hands. They’re in the hands of the Lord.” As he said that, peace came to me and I finally recognized as a young 34-year-old boy that the Lord truly is in charge.

Never take a calling as if you were the only one on the earth who can do it. The Lord will raise up a prophet each time a prophet is taken home. He will raise up a new leader every time. It is his kingdom and he is in charge, and our duty is merely to be an instrument in his hands. The Lord will magnify those that are called.

– Ed J. Pinegar

Quotes Worth Remembering

And we did magnify our office unto the Lord, taking upon us the responsibility, answering the sins of the people upon our own heads if we did not teach them the word of God with all diligence; wherefore, by laboring with our might their blood might not come upon our garments; otherwise their blood would come upon our garments, and we would not be found spotless at the last day. – Jacob 1:19

No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned. By kindness and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile - Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy. – D&C 121: 41-43

… if you shall ask the Father in my name, in faith believing, you shall receive the Holy Ghost, which giveth utterance, that you may stand as a witness of the things of which you shall both hear and see, and also that you may declare repentance unto this generation. – D&C 14:8

Note: The excerpts of Leadership for Saints posted on Meridian are only a fraction of the contents of this 349-page book. To learn more about this ground-breaking book and to order copies, click here.