Meridian Magazine : : Print

Leadership for Saints, Part 10:
Mired in the Thick of Thin Things
by Rodger Dean Duncan and Ed J. Pinegar

Just what does it mean to be mired in the thick of thin things? It means that many of us fall into the trap of placing a priority on so many items that most items do not get the attention they need. It means that many of us become disheartened by our apparent inability to excel to the extent we would like. It means that many of us become mired in the thick of thin things. We are subject to the frustration spawned by values and priorities that seem to be in conflict. Quite simply, we are out of balance.

You’ve likely heard the old saying that “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” As with many clichés, this one is true. Yet effective planning is much more than juggling schedules. The best planners and the most effective servants are those who establish a clear mission for themselves and operate from that mission every hour of every day.

In this context, “mission” does not mean a specific assignment, like going to Brazil for 24 months to teach the gospel. Mission is used here to connote the sense of personal vision and the clarification of personal values that enable us to perform more comfortably and more effectively and with a greater sense of balance. Even our Father in Heaven has articulated His mission: “For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” (Moses 1:39)

It was Albert Einstein who reportedly said that the significant problems we face cannot be solved with the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. Most of our problems with conflicting priorities are of our own making. With good intentions we innocently accept layer upon layer of responsibility, then wake up one morning befuddled and overwhelmed by it all.

The beginning of our relief comes when we strategically plan our lives. At first blush, this may sound too businesslike. Aren’t strategic plans what business organizations use to guide their activities? Yes. And strategic plans are what effective people use to guide their activities, too.

There are likely countless ways that an individual can “build” a strategic plan for his life. But we’re going to discuss only one way. Not because it’s necessarily the very best way, but because it’s simple, it’s values-based, it’s easily adaptable to many situations, and it works.

A root cause of the frustration many people feel with their time management is a lack of clarity on who they are and what they value. Now, you might argue: “Oh, I know very well who I am. And I know what my values are.” But do you really? When we pose this question to some people, they respond with something fairly generic like “I’m Mike Wilson and I stand for integrity” or “I’m Louise Gardner and I value fairness and reliability.” It’s hard to find fault with that, but such generalizations provide only limited assistance in reaching the hundreds, maybe even thousands, of decisions we’re required to make.

Here’s a simple process we’ve found to be helpful in clarifying your roles and values.

First, take a sheet of paper and begin to write down your roles. If you’re an adult male, your list of roles might go something like this: Husband. Father. Son. Brother. Accountant. Neighbor. Young Men President. Home Teacher. With only a little bit of work, you can likely make a list of twenty or more roles.

Now, take any one of those roles and break it down into sub-roles. With more careful thought, for example, you’ll realize that the role of Father has a number of sub-roles such as Coach, Teacher, Friend, Referee, Chauffeur, Banker, Nurturer, Cheerleader and so on. As you list these roles and sub-roles you’ll notice that you’re actually addressing the subject of values. For instance, if you were to list something like Nurturer as a sub-role under your role of Parent, that says something about the way you view—the way you value—the role of Parent. It also says something about the way you really desire to invest your time.

Keep at it. Write down as many roles as you can think of, then under each one list the sub-roles pertaining to that role. You’ll find that many of these sub-roles tend to overlap. For example, the sub-role of Friend is appropriate for the roles of Parent, Neighbor, Teacher, etc.

The next step might be to take each sub-role and list the character traits that you feel appropriately support the sub-role. Under the sub-role of Friend, you might list such characteristics as loyalty, reliability, patience and so forth.

Through all of this, you are clarifying your values. You are not creating your values, you are discovering and possibly rediscovering them.

Why is such a process important to us? Because truly effective people base their decisions and responses on their values. They are value-based and principle-centered. Clarifying the values and principles we embrace enables us to live our lives more effectively. Without this clarification we run the risk of making decisions and responding to situations and circumstances which are not consistent with our values and principles. We go through life in the reactive mode.

The process of brainstorming on your personal roles and sub-roles is a first step to writing your personal Mission Statement or Constitution. Again, you might say that you don’t need a written document to guide you because you already know what you want to accomplish in life. But we have worked with hundreds of people who thought the same thing. Then, after patiently and diligently working through the process of clarifying their roles and values and writing a personal Mission Statement or Constitution, they discovered the wonderful comfort of bringing their lives into better focus and balance.

We recommend that upon beginning such an exercise you write two words at the top of the page: “First Draft.” Drafting a personal Constitution is not a quick-fix kind of thing. It requires careful and prayerful thought and consideration. It is a winnowing process. It involves a sifting of the various things that can consume—or bless—our lives. In fact, the sifting or screening metaphor is especially appropriate.

Picture your life as an opportunity to respond to—by embracing or rejecting in various degrees—a wide range of activities or principles. In its finished form, your personal Constitution or Mission Statement serves as a screening device. By carefully setting up that screening device, you’re better prepared to make the countless decisions we all make each day. Without such a screening device, we run the risk of deciding by default or deciding in a way that is in conflict with our mission and values.

It really doesn’t matter whether you call this guiding document a Mission Statement, a Personal Constitution, a Declaration of Purpose, a Written Creed or anything else. The point is that you will benefit from drafting and referring to the document. The power of such a process and the resulting document is that it helps you clarify who you are and what is genuinely important to you. Then, when you get caught up in the routine of daily living and find yourself slipping away from the balance you desire, you can always refer to your document of guiding principles. You will become more a product of your deliberate values-based decisions than of external conditions. You will escape the danger of merely reacting to situations. You begin to manage your life instead of letting it manage you.

The things which matter most must not be at the mercy of the things that matter least. – Goethe

To be sure your life will be full and abundant, you must plan your life. – Spencer W. Kimball

Without a goal there can be no real success. Indeed, a good definition of success is: 'The progressive realization of a worthy ideal.' – Thomas S. Monson

May we ponder carefully, deeply, and prayerfully our roles in life, where we can give the greatest service, to whom we can make the greatest contribution, what we should do with our lives and with our special skills and training. Our success will be measured by what we can give of our lives and our contribution to others rather than what we can get and receive from others. – Spencer W. Kimball

When we find our values in life, things that are most worthwhile, things of greatest worth to us, then we begin to feel our individuality, our creativity, our freedom, our strength. We begin to get possession of life when we concentrate not on the whole of reality in which we feel insignificant, but when we select certain things we are determined to live for; it seems to me that's when we get hold of life again. – Lowell L. Bennion

When we set (and write down!) specific goals based on clearly defined values, we have more control over our lives. We reward ourselves with a sense of direction and a feeling of accomplishment. We fill our lives with the power of purpose… When we set goals based upon a recognition of our eternal worth, our goals more fully reflect God's goals for us—or our unique potential. The mission statements we write will become personal manifestos, written from the perspective of children of God. Goal-oriented improvement programs will become most effective not just because we have guideposts of improvement but more importantly because those guideposts are in harmony with God's plan for our eternal progress. – Lloyd D. Newell

Note: The excerpts of Leadership for Saints posted on Meridian are only a fraction of the contents of this 349-page book. To learn more about this ground-breaking book and to order copies, click here.

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