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Manners
Make a Difference in a Stress-Filled World
By Judith Rasband
Do people really notice good manners?
You bet they do. Even though lifestyles are more informal and relaxed
in this new millennium, good manners are appreciated. Polite language,
cell phones off, holding the door, a thank you note, a smile —
these are just a few favors that people like.
Make no mistake about it. Your manners
— how you present yourself and behave throughout your life
— are a very big part of your personal and professional image.
Good manners contribute to a positive first and lasting impression
in social and business situations. They advance your reputation.
Virtually everyone has felt uncomfortable,
insecure, or embarrassed at some time by not knowing how to behave
in a particular situation. They may even refuse to participate.
Virtually everyone of every age would prefer to feel comfortable,
confident, and competent throughout the day. These feelings only
come with knowledge and practice.
Knowing the rules or guidelines of
good manners helps you to relax, to feel confident and capable.
Practicing them allows you to appear comfortable and competent,
and builds self-respect in the process. You can get on with your
day and accomplish your goals.
Knowing and practicing good manners
is not a matter of vanity, snobbery, or trying to impress. Nor is
it a sign of weakness, as some would have us believe. It is simply
a matter of being kind and sensitive to the needs of others, of
creating a considerate, gracious, and respectful atmosphere for
everyone.
Respect is, in fact, at the heart of
good manners. All good manners are based on thoughtfulness for others
and respect for them as individuals of equal value. It’s the
essence of the Golden Rule — Do unto others the way you want
to be treated. Although an update may be appropriate, the so-called
Platinum Rule — Do unto others the way they want
to be treated.
Practicing good manners makes life
happier, more enjoyable for everyone because of the courtesy and
respect shown to each other. In today's stress-filled world, coupled
with the ups and downs inherent to everyday life, it is very nice
to experience pleasantries. Good manners are said to be two-thirds
common sense and one-third kindness. Experiencing a moment of pleasant
kindness can be uplifting, both for you as the practitioner and
for the receiver. Respecting others is truly empowering.
There can be differences between social
and business office etiquette. Unlike social manners, business manners
take into account the pyramid of authority and efficiency on the
job. It is not necessary, for example, to stand and shake hands
every time someone enters your office. That would be disruptive,
and it would slow down your work.
On the other hand, no matter how tired
you might be, or abrasive a client might be, professionals are urged
to always practice good manners. An environment in which people
treat each other with kindness and consideration is certainly one
in which a client enjoys doing business.
In a social setting, it is common practice
for the women seated in a group to remain seated and shake hands
with a newcomer, while the men are expected to stand up and shake
hands. In a business setting, however, both women and men are expected
to stand and greet the newcomer.
Manners are becoming more and more
“genderless” in today’s workplace. Since manners
are constantly evolving, it is important to keep current and learn
the new rules of behavior to cover these changes.
There are literally hundreds of changing
situations that confront us during our lifetime, with rules and
guidelines for nearly every one. There is no way we can keep track
of them all. Therefore, it is smart to keep a large, comprehensive,
updated etiquette book on a shelf for ready reference.
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© 2007 Meridian
Magazine. All Rights Reserved.
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