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Why Are We So Rude?
By Judith Rasband
Rudeness is part of the ongoing casualization
of America. Unfortunately, as a culture, we are dropping established
standards of behavior — becoming more casual and therefore
less disciplined.
Self-control is practiced less and
less. Hence, sloppy dress, sloppy eating habits, sloppy housekeeping
and public littering, sloppy accounting, road rage, sky rage, office
rage, sideline sports rage and so on — including cursing in
all arenas of activity and shouting on cell phones.
No one is immune to this epidemic of
rudeness. Both men and women are at fault, although women are less
likely to get physical. At the same time, people no longer hold
themselves responsible or accountable for their own bad behavior.
Rudeness is part of the continuing
self-obsessive, narcissistic, “me” attitude and America’s
general contempt for all rules. As a people, we’ve decided
the way to get what we want is to simply demand it — rudely.
These days, everyone everywhere appears to be hot under the collar.
I just wish they were wearing a collar.
Case in point: I have tracked the “business
casual” dress downtrend for decades. The first generation
of young people to go through school without a dress code gained
no knowledge, experience, or ability in dress. Without this, they
have no value for the influence of dress on their own behaviors,
including their language, which becomes rude and crude.
With no value, these young people were
not about to learn how to dress politely or professionally when
they entered the workforce. To save face, they demanded casual dress
in the office and pushed the level of dress down to business sloppy,
sexy — in your face!
To anyone today who is dressed and
groomed nicely, they challenge with a sneer, “Why you so dressed
up?” This is not a question, but a way to put down the nice
dressers and make them feel uncomfortable — as though they
are the ones out of place.
It’s working, to the degree that
people are told not to come to work in “good clothes”
anymore — and to the extreme that in some offices, the man
who comes to work in a pressed shirt and tie gets the tie cut off
at the throat. For rude!
With dress relaxed to the point of
sloppy or scanty, it is predictable that relaxed manners and moral
decline will follow. Foul language is simply one among the many
symptoms of a decline in civilized behavior.
Following my recent seminar presentation
to a national convention group, among the mostly positive participant
evaluation cards was one largely not repeatable. It included the
statement, “This is post-modern deconstruction. Get used to
it Babe!” This comment is so true and enlightening because
it reflects the attitude of others committed to lowering all standards
of civilized society. We are living through the gradual deconstruction
of formerly harmonious and polite ways of dressing, grooming, speaking,
and behaving.
A New Direction
Where is rudeness taking us? Rude language
and verbal abuse strikes a blow at the sense of connectedness that
any society needs to function harmoniously. It signals that America
is in decline, heading toward an uncivilized society. And what is
the point of modern technological advances, if we are no longer
civil to one another? As goes civility, so goes society.
What can we do about it? Re-educate
society as to the value of becoming a nice people again —
look nice, think nice, feel nice, act nice, and people will treat
one another more nicely.
In homes and schools of America, we need a return to teaching good
manners and moral behavior.
America needs renewed attention to,
for example, polite speech and a responsible dress code. Only with
practice will our population recognize the value of good speech
over free speech.
In the meantime, create a rudeness
reduction mantra. When tempted to rudeness, repeat to yourself a
phrase such as, “I choose not to be rude. I choose to be a
nice person.” Say it time and time again — a hundred
times a day if needed in the beginning. You’ll be glad you
did.
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© 2007 Meridian
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