I'm torn. I'm certainly excited about a vice-presidential candidate that is a strong, conservative, tax cutting, corruption-busting, pro-life mother and wife. Sarah Palin looks like a wonderful person with a great family. She appears to be a true patriot. I'm sure all the intense media attention has been a huge burden on their family. I feel for them.

My work as a marriage educator and advocate gives me a different concern than those who are trying to destroy Sarah Palin's political candidacy with unfounded hack jobs. My concern is for the young people, and even those not so young, who are receiving yet another media message that teen sex and pregnancy don't appear to be that big of a problem.

Premarital sex and unwed parenthood are huge problems that are occurring far too often, affecting many lives in painful ways. The news of Sarah Palin's daughter, Bristol , being pregnant and unmarried has been heart wrenching to me.

I understand that life happens. People make choices. We all do things we wish we hadn't. I feel for Bristol to have to have her life situation publicly known and discussed. She is unfortunately paying a high price for her actions and for her mother's political position. But too many other ears are listening to our response to not address the unfortunate realities of the situation.

Nearly every way you look at it, premarital sex has consequences that are not in the best interest of those involved (baby included). Educations are cut short, lives are inevitably altered, parenthood is preemptively begun, and marriage (when there is one) starts on shaky ground. Make no mistake, the child is always a gift from God, but the context in which the child is born is always less than ideal.

This is my primary concern. Millions of sons and daughters are listening to what is said about sex outside of marriage and unwed pregnancy.

You may have heard of the 2007 movie called “Juno” where a young teen gets pregnant. Since then we have repeatedly seen the “Juno” effect in many other's lives. We hear of the "Juno" effect in discussion of Jamie Lynn Spears and the recent unfortunate decision of 17 teenage girls in a Massachusetts high school to get themselves pregnant. They apparently had little understanding of the consequences to themselves, their families and most importantly to the children who will likely be raised without a father (if they even know who the fathers are).

I just hate to see Bristol Palin and the statements made about her situation become a "Bristol Effect" on other young women who see no negative consequences to having sex and becoming pregnant.

I don't want teenagers to come away with the idea that it is just fine to have sex with your high school boyfriend. It probably seems that if they do get pregnant, the boyfriend will gallantly sweep them off their feet into marriage, and everyone will lavish attention and accolades on them for some aspect of the situation in an effort to make the best of the situation. Few of the difficult realities they will encounter are even mentioned.

Here are the realities of what teens have to think about:

• Will a pregnant teenager be able to finish her education?
• Will she be able to provide for her child, should she find herself in additional unfortunate circumstances?
• Will her boyfriend be interested in marrying her?
• If so, would she be ready for marriage?
• Would a young couple have what it takes to start their marriage already swimming upstream and still make a long-term success of it?
• Would the child be better off being given to two loving, mature, and married parents who have been praying for a child to adopt?
• Will the pregnant teenager end up as a single mom anyway like so many teenage mothers?
• Is the child going to end up not knowing or being raised by his/her father, because the father was unable to cut it in the rigors of marriage and parenthood?
• And if the child was given to another family to adopt, what kind of questions and heartache will that cause the child somewhere down the road?

I hope the Palin situation does not contribute to the terrible precedent that is being set regarding premarital sex and unwed parenthood.

Let it be clear that children are entitled to be reared by two loving parents--by a mother and a father--who are sufficiently mature and selfless, so that they can do what it takes to raise a child. Let it be clear that there is a good reason God simply asks that sex be reserved for marriage.

Contrary to the "safe sex" advocates, pre-marital abstinence IS the only way to assure that children are not aborted, but are raised by those who are ready and willing to make the necessary sacrifices for parenthood. And condoms are not the answer, since most teens notoriously fail to use them.

I don't have enough personal insight about Bristol and her family, or Jamie Lynn Spears and her family, or the 17 high school girls in Massachusetts and their families to know why they made the poor choices they've made. But I do know that many young people are able to make the difficult choices to save sexual behaviors for marriage, even in our sexually saturated culture.

Some of the important components of helping our children make it through their young adult years and into marriage before they partake of God's gift of sexual intimacy include:

Children need to understand their parents' expectation that they remain morally chaste until marriage. For the 70 or so percent of the population that consider themselves to be Christian, including God in the discussion is critical. This is not just about parental expectations, but about God's expectations. God is the one that asks us to save sex for marriage.

Our children may know that we would be terribly heartbroken to receive the news of sex or a pregnancy outside of marriage, but if we have done our job well, then they will be more heartbroken about letting God down than in letting their parents down.

It seems like nobody even expects kids to not have sex nowadays. I think that's garbage. It may be difficult, but it's not impossible to make choices that keep you away from situations and overwhelming temptations.

There's a pernicious and pervasive message out there that kids are just going to do it anyway, so you better give them a condom. That's garbage.

Parents and other responsible citizens have a moral obligation to set the societal expectation that premarital chastity IS POSSIBLE, and that we believe they can do it! The expectation I am talking about here is basically the concept of providing a foundation of faith--faith that you believe it's possible, faith that you believe they can succeed at overcoming the pitfalls and temptations, and faith that you know that God won't ask anything of them that isn't possible, nor that He won't help us with it.

Parents must not just set expectations for their children then throw them out into the world. They must teach them why it's important to go against the societal tide of sexual promiscuity. Parents must teach them how to stay away from the dangers, and how to proactively create a life that positively minimizes vulnerabilities and temptations.

This education includes spiritual training as well as mental and emotional and social training. Role playing situations with our children that they may encounter, and teaching them how to appropriately and effectively handle such situations are part of the necessary parenting that's required in our day and time.

Discussions about dating, relationships, moral standards, social events, and other activities are all-important issues that must be addressed with our young people. Alcohol consumption is a significant contributing factor in premarital sex, so teach and help your kids avoid it.

Steady dating or dating those who have questionable character are other areas to discuss with your children. Parents need to help their children navigate the all-important teenage and young adult years by teaching them and showing them what healthy relationships look like and how to create them.

This brings us to the third component of preventing premarital sexual experimentation--emotional connection. Setting expectations, and even educating and preparing your children for the dangers they may encounter is not quite enough. Children must also feel an emotional connection or love between themselves and their parents.

It's the easiest thing in the world for a young person to disregard any parental teachings or standards if they feel no love or respect for or from their parents. It's so much easier for children to do all they can to made good choices and to do those things that their parents have taught them if they feel our love and our sincere concern for their needs.

Parents must spend not just quality time, but also quantity time in order to meet the needs of children. Learning what makes your children feel loved and doing those things regularly is your best defense against the destructive tide of drugs, sex, alcohol, pornography etc. that plague our society and our youth. This is no easy task.

Good parenting takes time and effort. What if children need your time and attention, but you are too busy? What if children need your patience, but you are too frazzled?

As a marriage educator I can't leave out the fact that the state of your marriage has a huge effect on the well-being of your children, and significantly affects their vulnerability, or lack thereof, to destructive outside influences.

I hope the best for Bristol Palin and her boyfriend Levi. I especially pray for their soon-to-be-born child.

I hope that someone somewhere reading this will think twice about the choices and the consequences of sex outside of marriage. I hope that more parents will do a better job teaching and preparing their children for the challenges they face.

God is wise and powerful. He's still got the best plan out there for our peace and happiness and well-being. I hope we will be smart enough to listen.

Laura M. Brotherson is the author of a groundbreaking book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, “And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment.” Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy educator, blogger and podcaster.

You can visit her website www.StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more, and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter. StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages intimately!