Author’s note:  This series on Men and Depression has been written specifically for a Latter-day Saint audience, but musician and hymnist friends who are not of our denomination have promised to surf in to read this particular article, so I am broadening my language to include all my friends.

This article should not be interpreted to say that music or any other art is a substitute for therapy. It was an important aid in my recovery, but it never took the place of the group classes and individual therapy that helped me overcome the trials of the time. Also, it is not my attempt to sound like I'm trying to advertise or sell anyone's music or albums, but I do mention some by name so the reader can identify the artist and their music.

If you have not read the previous articles in this series, click here and here.

Why Music?

Music has been one of the great passions of my life. It is the art form I turn to in times of crisis as well as in times of joy and happiness. Each man has something in his life for which he is passionate; I hope you can take my experience and apply it to that thing for which you are passionate.

In all our life's passions, the wise man applies the Apostle Paul's council:

“Accentuate the Positive...”

In part two of this series on men and depression I talked about removing all negative influences from your life and replacing them with as much positive influence as possible. I mentioned a test I created for myself in regard to the music I surround myself with in times of distress and despair. The music I choose must:

 Although my journey through depression has led me to hymns and on to become a hymnist, the hymnal was not my first stop for music to fit this litmus test; there were many good albums along the way that I still cherish and enjoy; each had its time, place, and mission. Let's discuss that part of the journey first.

“...Eliminate the Negative”

I strongly recommend that those suffering through despair or distress in any form examine the music around them and determine if it is aiding or retarding their recovery — and then take the appropriate steps. Change your listening habits for the duration of your recovery, and afterwards reexamine your collection and determine how much of what you put into storage you really want to bring back out.

There is so much good and inspiring music from many different sources. But in a day and age before downloading and making you own CD's, the consumer was pretty well stuck with listening to an entire album or nothing at all.  Even if there was just one song on the album that didn't pass the test, that entire album had go into storage for the duration of my bout of depression. So I would pick and choose songs from the albums I owned and compile cassette tapes of positive music. I would label those tapes “Hope,” “Inspire,” “Thanks,” “Calm Down,” and other attitudes I needed to buttress up my spirit. My wife remarked once that she could tell what mood I was in by which of these tapes I was listening to.

Don't Just Listen!

You need to do more than just listen to positive music. You need to actually sing. A song isn't part of you until you have vocalized it, because that is when your spirit finally speaks though that song and makes it a song from your heart.

At one particular place we lived I chose to walk to work each day — a thirty-minute walk through a golf course and around the end of the runway for the Air Force base on which we lived. During this walk I was alone most of the time, and this walk to and from work became a twice-a-day concert as I sang songs with positive messages without fear of being overheard and laughed at.

The Doctrine and Covenants teaches us that “the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads” (D&C 25:12), and there were many of those walks in which my singing was literally a prayer; the calm and peace that came with these walking concerts were gratefully-received blessings in a time of great need.

The Medicinal Qualities of Children's Hymns

The children's auxiliary in my church is called the Primary Association; commonly referred to as Primary. I have always been grateful to have the assignment of teaching a Primary class during my years of trial. Beneath those loud, active exteriors, children are angels sent from God to remind us grown-ups what we all should be like. In a day and age when it was more appropriate than today, I hugged each child as they left my classroom, letting them know they were loved, and in return they were eager to let me know I was loved.

It did not take me long to realize the sheer spiritual beauty of the hymns and songs in the Children's Songbook. My goal as a Primary teacher was for the children to understand that Heavenly Father and Jesus loved them; all else centers on this simple truth. And in my observation, this also seems to be the goal of the Children's Songbook.

It was not long before I made a trip to the Church Distribution Center and purchased the Children's Songbook on tape (and later on CD) so I could have the therapy of these plain, simple hymns playing at home or at work; whenever I needed the boost of hearing such plain, innocent truths. I even have coworkers — manly men who know all the correct times to spit, chew, burp, and scratch — come to my desk to borrow the CD's, explaining that “I just need the extra lift today” or “I need to hear that God loves me today.” I have always obliged them.

“Whosoever ... Shall Humble Himself as this Little Child”

What are the secret, healing qualities of Primary music and other children's hymns? The music and the lyrics are simple and direct; uncluttered by grown-up complications. They dwell on the basic teachings of Love, Faith, Hope, and Service. A man going through mental difficulties needs to strip away all the adult trappings and dwell on these simple childlike truths before he tries to take on the complicated grown-up world again.

As Primary chorister I once polled the adults in the congregation to discover their favorite “adult” hymns so the children could learn them, and a full one-half of the adults instead listed this simple hymn:

I don't think this is our favorite hymn because Latter-day Saints are simpletons when it comes to music, as some hymnists have accused us. I think we embrace this hymn for the clear, plain message it delivers to a cluttered, confused, and often hopeless world. Those who think this a hymn for a simpleton perhaps have not paused to feel how forcefully the Holy Spirit whispers through such childlike simplicity.

“I Am a Child of God,” along with “A Child's Prayer,” “Teach Me to Walk in the Light,” and “I Feel My Savior's Love,” carry messages today's adults are able to respond to and desire to hold on to. I have heard more than one manly Primary teacher whisper under his breath “I needed to hear that today” as the children finished singing one of these hymns.

Graduating Back Up to the Hymnal

Once I had stripped away all the adult trappings and complications and reminded myself of the simplicity of the Gospel through the Children's Songbook, I was ready to once again tackle the hymnal.

Having been raised by a mother who loved music and loved to teach the Gospel through music, there was not a hymn in the hymnal that was a stranger to me.

But once you have been torn down by mental illness and are slowly rebuilding, even the hymnal of your childhood sounds new. You hear each hymn with fresh ears, wondering what it has to do with who you are now. You see what it has for the man who has clawed his way out of the dark (or is still clawing his way out) and is searching for those things that will give him a firm footing in the light.

Preparing Men and Hymns to Meet and Become Friends

I have fond memories of attending priesthood meetings with my father while still a Primary-age child and sitting in a chapel full of men who stood as one and sang like manly men. The chapel literally shook with the power of their voices. Asked on the way home what I had learned, my reply was always about the message of the hymns.

Men used to love to sing, and they sang to show the Lord that they loved Him and believed the messages of the hymns. To me there was no more manly activity than the literal booming out of beloved hymns of faith and hope. Men, what has happened to our big, booming voices? What has happened to the male fellowship that used to be shared with such power and conviction?

Men Need To Sing Like Men

I have had the opportunity to conduct music at church on many occasions, and as we moved around the world in the Air Force I watched congregations to see when they sang well and when they didn't. I have especially watched the men, and I have a few observations to share.

When I was a child, Christianity in general still viewed and taught about God as an all-powerful, authoritative, majestic, yet loving Being. And, we sang accordingly. Today, Christianity in general teaches about a God who is kind and gentle, and we sing accordingly. Both views of God are correct, and when they are combined they create a complete picture. Somehow we need to be able to balance our teaching and singing so our children can learn about an all-powerful, authoritative, majestic Being who is equally kind, gentle, and loving.

I think one of the reasons the kind and gentle God is being taught and sung about over the all-powerful, authoritative God is because fewer men participate in leading or conducting the music or even teaching the Sunday school classes. Being left to the women, we now sing, teach, and learn from the women's point of view and in fulfillment of their needs more than we do the men's point of view or needs.

It is my observation that if more men participated the fuller would be the view and the music would become more rounded for both men and women — after all, the women need to hear the men sing like men and feel the power of conviction in their voices!

What I have said should not be taken as criticism of the women who lead the music. I would never, ever speak negative of how wonderfully the women of the Church keep the music going as they give of themselves every week in this regard. If there is any criticism to be made from this observation it should be pointed towards the men who don't or won't help.

This is also not a criticism but an observation: We have a piano and an organ in the chapel. We have pianos for the Relief Society room, the Young Women room and for the Primary Room. There is, however, rarely if ever a piano for the men in priesthood meeting. This leaves the men and the young men without music, and they then become the butt of the women's jokes when they sing off-key.

Those in charge of priesthood meeting music need to meet with their leaders and stress the importance of the priesthood holders having the same musical foundation for worship as the rest of the congregation. It is my observation that music in priesthood meeting should be taken seriously enough that, if needed, a woman be assigned to come in and play the piano if there is no man available or able to do so.

The Right Tool for the Job

When I was a boy our sacrament meeting music conductor was a retired high school choir teacher. He led the congregation with a baton and he'd stop us if we weren't singing as a congregation should sing while praising their God. Even the men sang correctly for Brother Millet.

Many hymnists are against the use of a baton in a worship service, but my observation has taught me that men sing better when the chorister uses one — especially if the chorister is a fellow man.

Why a baton? It comes down to the simple, sexist-stereotyped theory that men respect tools. Men also respect a man wielding a tool — it gets their attention and lets them know that a man is about to do something important and perhaps they should be ready in case they are called upon to assist. Preachers wave the Bible; choristers wave a baton.  Either action gets the men’s attention because a man is waving a tool.

I tried this out for myself one Saturday morning when I was asked to be the chorister for a regional priesthood leadership meeting. Having previously led this same group of men in nothing more than a mumble, it seemed a chance to test my theory. When I raised the baton, every head came up and watched the tool in my hand. The pianist even watched and played according to my conducting. And, the men sang loud enough I could hear them over my own voice. They weren't following me; they were following a tool.

Sing and Lead Like Men

Men! Stop singing with soft tender voices and return to singing with manly, enthusiastic voices, and you will once again enjoy the hymns. Choristers! Men need to sing like men; give them a surprise and lead the congregation in a way that gives the men a chance to do so, and hopefully you will hear the fruits of your labor. Also: lead to the fast tempo; not the slow tempo. Rouse the men out their Sabbath stupor and make Men out of them.

Men who conduct music need to take on more manly movements and demeanor when leading men in song. Make yourself and your conducting something they will pick up on and follow. An example: when I lead the men in “Onward Christian Soldiers,” I turn my hand into a fist and literally “beat” the chorus as if I am striking a hammer on an anvil — and the men’s' voices generally respond in kind!

How we move our hands and what we do with our body while we conduct the music is not established in any gospel commandment or covenant — it was not handed down on granite tablets from Mount Sinai or any other mountain. We do what we have to do to raise the singers' hearts and voices in song and worship. If we have to beat an anvil or wave a tool or even stomp a foot to illustrate the tempo, then we do it. Our mission is to get the men to sing.

Hymns for the Distressed and Despairing Man

I have limited myself to nine examples of hymns that are not only well-suited to men's voices but are also hymns I and other men feel have helped us through mental and emotional trials. Most of these hymns should be familiar to all as they come from the general Christian library; only a few were written by LDS hymnists.

“When the earth begins to tremble,
Bid our fearful thoughts be still.”

“...Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.”
(This verse is not in the LDS hymnal.)

“Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.

“His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.”

“Redeemer of Israel, Our only delight,
On whom for a blessing we call;
Our shadow by day, and our pillar by night,
Our king, our companion, our all.

“We know he is coming to gather his sheep,
And plant them in Zion, in love,
For why in the valley of death should they weep,
Or alone in the wilderness rove?

“How long we have wander'd ...
And cried in the desert for thee!
Our foes have rejoic'd when our sorrows they've seen;
But Israel will shortly be free.”

What a grand text, in which His sheep call upon Him while praising Him; reassuring themselves of His continual companionship as well as the eventual victory and freedom.

All despairing men beg to be brought out of the mental Egypt they are in and into a promised land of peace. They plead for the companionship the presence of the Lord can bring. The same pillar of fire and strong arm that led Israel will lead each and every one of us as we allow Him to do so.

“The Lord is my light; them why should I fear?
By day and by night His presence is near...

“The Lord is my light; the Lord is my strength.
I know in his might I'll conquer at length...”

“Oh, it is WON-DER-FUL!
That he should CARE-FOR-ME
Enough to DIE-FOR-ME!
Oh, it is WON-DER-FUL,
WON-DER-FUL to me!”

“Why should this anxious load press down your weary mind?”
Haste to your Heavenly Father's throne and sweet refreshment find.”

“How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
You, who unto Jesus for refuge have fled?

“In every condition, in sickness, in health;
In poverty’s vale, or abounding in wealth;
At home and abroad, on the land, on the sea,
As thy days may demand, shall thy strength ever be.”

“Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen and help thee, and cause thee to stand
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.”

“When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

“When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

“Even down to old age all My people shall prove
My sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And when hoary hairs shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs they shall still in My bosom be borne.”

“The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.”

I’ll never, no never, I'll never, no never,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.

Are There Others?

There are as many healing hymns as there are different personalities among God’s children. One that comes to mind is –

“Come, O Thou king of Kings; we’ve waited long for thee
With healing in Thy wings to set Thy people free…”

Don’t confine yourself to just one hymnal! Following the Apostle' Paul's council of seeking out all that is virtuous, lovely, and of good report, seek out the good in the whole Christian hymnal library. One of my favorite places to start a hymn search is at the Cyberhymnal (http://www.cyberhymnal.org/), where a constantly-growing collection of hymns is waiting for the searcher. (It is currently up to 6,300 hymns.)

If you have the NoteWorthy music program (http://www.noteworthysoftware.com) you can download and play the sheet music posted on the website — letting the program play the music as you sing along.

There Is Much Good in Secular Music

Most people would be tempted to pass by secular artists in search for music to set good moods. You would be surprised how you can find a song on a secular album that sparks something in you and inspires you along. Imagine anyone my age having missed out on Debbie Boone's “You Light Up my Life” or Barry Manilow's “I Made it Through the Rain” just because they were on pop albums. Imagine not hearing Josh Groban's messages of hope and aspiration just because his CD's aren't sold in the religious section of the music store! Imagine never having heard “The Prayer,” “Candle on the Water,” or “You Know Better Than I” just because they were from children's movies!

Because of the musical background my mother gave to her children, I have always been an appreciative listener of Rogers and Hammerstein. Two artists who believed in promoting all that was good and positive in the world, their music contains little if any negative messages. In times of sorrow or pain, even the best hymns have a hard time equaling the messages of “Climb Every Mountain” or “You'll Never Walk Alone.” There are those who stumble over these two songs because of their amazing simplicity, but that very simplicity is why they touch the hearts of those who so badly need their messages.

Other albums/CD’s that have always inspired me are the official albums released for each of the Olympics. They are always full of songs with incredible messages of hoping and striving and reaching. I have even used them in priesthood quorum lessons — it was an interesting Sunday when my bishop walked in and there I was playing the Four Tops and Smokey Robinson to make a point about quorum brotherhood!

Inspirational Music

There are many good albums of inspirational music waiting for you to discover them. Explore all the genres of inspirational and sacred music that you already enjoy, and then try a few new ones. Expanding your musical base helps you discover new ways and methods to celebrate the messages, and you will also find new forms of songs and hymns you'll wish you'd known before.

I would like to mention two inspirational artists whose music lifted me when I needed it badly. They represent two different but equally-legitimate forms of inspirational music.

One musician I have been fortunate enough to meet did not come out of anyone's cookie cutter. Mark Hansen loves rock music and ballads and he does both well. He has the talent to celebrate the Gospel in his music, finding a topic that needs a song and then writing something that fits his musical style so very well.

Likewise is Mark's gift to memorialize an event and help the listener feel the event; a talent that truly shined following one school shoot-out about which he wrote a tribute that left the listener feeling as if they had been there and had felt the pain of the day personally. Mark must have read C.S. Lewis' instructions to not describe something so a reader can see it but so well that they feel it. He gives the listener some of the freshest views of either gospel topics or current events of any artist I know.  You are left thinking to yourself, “I never looked at it that way!”

Mark has cut one album, and he also has new material at his website (http://markhansenmusic.com) for downloading. Visit him and discover that some great celebratory truths (like making a '”joyful noise”) need the extra power and energy Mark gives them.

You must understand something: I am a classical music sort of guy. When I feel especially wild I pull out my Barry Manilow and Bette Midler CD’s. I didn't like rock music much before I met Mark, but he has shown me there is a passion and joy that only sounds right through this medium. So although rock music is rarely my first choice, I have discovered that rock-inspirational and celebratory music has a place in my soul, and that Mark helped make me a better person by introducing me to it.

Mark has also co-composed some incredible choir work with friend John Newman (http://randomtracks.com) for which they should be receiving acclaim; one piece ought to be submitted to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (listen to Uncle Bruce!) — “How Beautiful,” based on Isaiah 52:7.

Julie de Azevedo (http://www.juliedeazevedo.com) is one of the crown jewels of contemporary inspirational music. To call her music merely inspirational does not do her justice — she goes beyond inspirational and writes aspirational music, for her songs and messages leave people wanting to be better than they are.

One of Julie's songs — “Mercy's Arms” — has been recorded by several artists besides herself, notably the legendary Gladys Knight. This song, its message, and the lovely voices of both Julie and Gladys Knight (each in her own recording) literally kept me from suicide. This song tells of the joy and comfort of being surrounded by the Lord's arms and filled and cleansed by His mercy. It leaves listeners with the hope that when they are called Home Jesus will call them His Friend.

This message came to me when I was in the utter depths of unbearable loneliness, and through it I knew that when I returned to the Lord's bosom I wanted Him to be proud of a “job well done” and not pity me. It let me know that Jesus is, among many other things, my Friend, and I did not want to hurt my Friend by doing something stupid.

I have recommended Julie's Window to His Love CD and Gladys Knight's Many Different Roads CD, both containing “Mercy's Arms,” to several people who were severely depressed and some who were ready to end their life. Each of them — or their spouse — reported back that, as with me, this song became a lifeline that helped rescue them. Besides this one song, both CD's are packed full of incredible gospel/inspirational music, and both have a definite place in a depressed soul’s musical medicine cabinet.

Sister Julie; Sister Gladys: Thank you both! I want you to know there is a soul on this earth who thinks this is the most significant thing either of you have ever done, and that is saying a lot! You have both saved and changed lives with this simple song of hope.

“God Loves You, Baby!”

A young friend once told me he disliked the television show “Touched by an Angel” because he got tired of being told that God loved him. Today, following a divorce and a walk of his own through the Valley of Depression, he enjoys watching an episode or two while the Reverend Della Reese exclaims “God loves you, Baby!”

The wise wife or friend of a man going through distress and despair should immediately go to the “Touched by an Angel” website (www.touched.com) and order the official soundtrack CD, which opens with the Reverend Della Reese's full-length version of “I Will Walk with You” and concludes with Wynonna Judd's powerful “Testify of Love.” In between are fourteen other songs of inspiration, aspiration, and hope in about that same number of musical styles, all of which were featured on the program. Every home with a depressed soul who needs constant reminding that God loves him should have this album on hand to apply liberally when needed.

One Man's Final Word

One veteran of the war in Iraq was adamant that “How Firm a Foundation” was the message from God that sustained him, drove away his fear, and brought him home. Refusing to share personal stories, he instead instructed me to conclude this article with:

“People will let you down.  But hymns won't.”

Whatever music you surround yourself with in times of trial, make sure it is music that will see you through the trials and on to the correct conclusion. Use these songs and hymns not only as prayers but as His messages in reply to your prayers. As you do, the Holy Spirit will whisper more easily to your heart and mind and aide you along the way — as that television theme reminded us week after week for nearly a decade — “I will be there, And I will walk with you.”

As the songs and hymns I have included in this article so lovingly testify, He will not only be your Savior and Redeemer, but He will also be your Companion — and, He will be your Friend when you feel there is no one else.