How I get my kids to do their chores?

Sound familiar?

You might have found yourself saying in frustration, “I'm not asking them to embark on a quest to slay a dragon, and yet they shun/forget/ignore to do little things like brushing their teeth or putting their dishes in the sink.”

What are some things Mom can use to get their kids to do what they need to?

First, we need to recognize that no matter how small or little these chores seem to adults, kids dread them just as much as we dread things like taxes or paying bills. According to Dr. Foster Cline:

That quote was taken from Foster Cline and Jim Fay's book Parenting with Love & Logic on page 136. This how-to book is a must-have for today's parents.

It is true that no one jumps for joy when it comes to doing chores — except the little ones. Cline and Fay go on to point out that younger children usually love to “help” mom and dad do housework. Perhaps help isn't the right word. They don't actually do much to get the job done. But with a little encouragement and patience, parents can foster these good desires in their children so that when they grow-up they won't be lazy about helping with the chores then. Parents need to set some ground rules while children are young.

Truth be known, children are actually happier when their parents in all loving kindness set down rules and have righteous expectations of them. President James E. Faust said:

And nothing can mask the great happy feelings we get when we know what we need to do and get the job done. There's no satisfaction like it.

But is it really your job to plan your children's daily lives and make the choices for them? At these younger ages, the answer is a big fat yes . You have to! These years, before the years of accountability, are your time to teach and train your child in the ways of the Lord before he or she is capable of being tempted by Satan. For Heavenly Father has told parents to bring up their children in light and truth. (See D&C 68: 25; Moses 6:57)

This is a noble and sacred responsibility that parents carry — especially the mothers. And the road is all the more pleasant when we sit down, make a plan, and get even a little organized. You need a visual plan with reminders of what each is supposed to do that day, and your children need to know this too. According to Dr. Phil McGraw:

Using charts is a proven, effective way for parents to get organized and help motivate their children to get their chores done. There are many methods of doing this. One way is to make the charts yourself. Or save time by using my free mini-charts. They have been designed for boys and girls and are available to download at www.enlightenedhomemaker.com. Feel free to share them with family and friends.

The second thing to remember is that every child is different; their needs and abilities change faster than their shoe size. Being able to customize a chart so that it “grows” with your child is a must. Seeing a gaping need in LDS parenting circles, I have opened a small studio called Smart Charts at my website for parents to create custom chore charts. This way every mom can create daily charts to fit the needs of her children. To learn more about how you or someone you know can take advantage of this service, please visit www.enlightenedhomemaker.com. Smart Charts was designed by request especially for LDS moms and is sold exclusively at my website for a monthly fee.

In designing your charts, understand that each one needs tasks for a child to accomplish. Some examples are read scriptures, brush teeth, make bed, clean up toys, wash dishes, and the list goes on. Every week-to-month and month-to-year of a child's life, he grows in ability and capacity. And that's where being able to customize these charts on a regular basis is critical.

But how do moms motivate their kids to do the chores? Both my free mini-charts and the full Smart Charts have a column where mom can tape a small piece of candy or write in a reward that the child will receive upon the completion of the task. Users of the Smart Charts have found this method very effective with younger children. In my next article, I will focus on effective and proper motivational tools parents can use to persuade their children to good works.

Time is precious and the hours we spend nagging our children, reminding them to do what we told them to is ineffective in the long run. Elder Richard G. Scott said in BYU Education Week 2007 that:

That is why leaders, including parents, must find ways other than force to convince their children to do good. And a good chore chart is a proven way to start. Organizing a child's life with daily chores, tailored to each child's personal needs, builds self-confidence, brings a sense of accomplishment, and gives mom a better handle on her job as a precious homemaker.

Natalie's free parenting newsletter is available at her website. Don't forget to check out the new Mommy Coach and Smart Charts too! Click here to learn more: http://www.enlightenedhomemaker.com