Meridian Magazine : : Homemaking Made Easy:Mealtime Madness: Let’s Unify on the Basics

Mealtime Madness: Let’s Unify on the Basics
By Natalie J. Hale

It’s a given absolute that we eat, no matter our age, race, education, or wealth. In fact, for most of us in the continental United Sates, we have three meals a day, plus snacks and desserts. It’s also true that we want our families to eat healthily.

And if we have picky eaters for children, we would be happy if they would just eat. Period. And what’s more, when it comes to feeding children ― especially younger children ― we don’t have the time or means to cook from scratch, which is where healthy meals usually originate.

What are some ways to cut back on preparation and cleanup while still getting children to eat well? And how about eating at least one meal a day together as a family? All those who want to at least try it, raise their hands? I’ve collected the following ideas and statements to help get these healthy, easy routines started in your homes, and broken them down into what will be a four part series:

Let’s Unify on the Basics
If You Cook It, Will They Come?
Now to Get the Food in Their Mouths
What’s to be Done with the Dishes?.

Each part will cover doctrinal foundations for the topic addressed and will also include ideas for applying these ideas to younger children.

And since this article is about food, I’d like to announce that EnlightenedHomemaker.com is giving away Menu Planners to anyone who gets ten friends to sign up for the free newsletter. You can register your friends here.

Now, before getting into the specifics, we need to set down some ground rules and perhaps demolish a few myths and traditions. If you want to feed the celestial family you're trying to raise, you may want to take the following information into consideration.

Vain Ambitions

I’d like to start by addressing vain ambitions. Section 121 of the Doctrine and Covenants relates many important messages to us, some of which are found in verse 37.

That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man. (Italics added.)

Take certain notice of the italicized portion of the verse, especially the term vain ambition.

What is a vain ambition? According to the Lord, it sure sounds like a bad thing. Anyone with power or control over someone else (perhaps a parent to a child?) should not want to be found guilty of it. Perhaps to gain a better understanding, to really get a handle on the meaning, turn to another scripture found in D&C 64:29:

Wherefore, as ye are agents, ye are on the Lord’s errand; and whatever ye do according to the will of the Lord is the Lord’s business.

Put simply, a vain ambition is when an agent of the Lord puts his or her wants before what the Lord commands.

In case your mind is spinning and you are shaking your head in perplexity, I’ll use a story to help illustrate this point:

Once upon a time there was a prophet named Gordon B. Hinckley. Now we already know that prophets speak for God, so when President Hinckley speaks as the prophet, we know that he is indeed saying what Heavenly Father would have him say. Well, one day this prophet made a statement that, “Effective teaching is the very essence of leadership in the Church. Eternal life will come only as men and women are taught with such effectiveness that they change and discipline their lives. They cannot be coerced into righteousness or into heaven. They must be led, and that means teaching.” (Gordon B. Hinckley, Quoted By Jeffrey R. Holland, “A Teacher Come from God,” Ensign, May 1998, 25)

Now the story continues with a father. He had a beautiful little daughter who needed help getting ready for bed. This father had spent a whole day at work, and just wanted to get that kid to bed, so he began ordering his daughter to brush her teeth, change her clothes, and say her prayers. He was the parent; the daughter was supposed to do what he said. Right?

This is actually a true story, and you might be surprised who the father is and the conclusion he came to:

When our youngest daughter was about four years of age, I came home from hospital duties quite late one evening. I found my dear wife to be very weary. I don’t know why. She only had nine children underfoot all day. So I offered to get our four-year-old ready for bed. I began to give the orders: "Take off your clothes; hang them up; put on your pajamas; brush your teeth; say your prayers" and so on, commanding in a manner befitting a tough sergeant in the army. Suddenly she cocked her head to one side, looked at me with a wistful eye, and said, "Daddy, do you own me?"

She taught me an important lesson. I was using coercive methods on this sweet soul. To rule children by force is the technique of Satan, not of the Savior. No, we don’t own our children. Our parental privilege is to love them, to lead them, and to let them go. (Russell M. Nelson, “Listen to Learn,” Ensign, May 1991, 22)

Mothers also are leaders of their children, are they not? What are some methods they can use to get their children to do what they need to — like get ready for bed, or more on topic, to eat dinner.

For clarity and understanding, take another look at D&C 121, only this time read verses 41-43:

No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile —

Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy.

Now let's apply these same prophetic and scriptural principles to mealtime. Let’s say broccoli is on the menu and let's also say that it is the healthiest thing a person should eat. And, as the nature of life would have it, your five-year-old just won’t eat it. Ever notice how quickly this becomes a struggle not so much over the broccoli as a struggle for power? “Who is in charge,” you might ask, “me or this picky kid?”

Some of you may have been here before. Maybe you forced the food down the child’s throat; maybe you told him not to leave the table until his plate was empty; or maybe you ate the broccoli for him to get his little, whiny voice to silence.

The point is, no one was really happy, were they? Nothing lasting was really gained. Your child just learned to hate you for forcing him to eat the broccoli, or he learned that if he whines enough, mommy will eventually give up.

It should seem obvious that some teaching, as President Hinckley taught us, and persuading, as the Lord commands in Section 121, need to be done. So what is it that you teach? A five-year-old isn’t going to listen to any lengthy discourse on the importance of health and why experts say broccoli is good for you. This is where it is really fun to be a parent of young children, because so much but not all of the teaching they need is more like training than actual lectures.

First, you and your husband need to unify on what your family is going to eat. This way you can get the child’s father’s support.

Kids really mimic what their parents do. If you and your husband speak English, guess what language your child will speak — English, of course. Did you give your child verb drills and vocabulary lessons? No, he just learned by hearing you use it all the time. You speak English and so will he.

The same applies to food. If you want your children to eat healthily, than you must show the example and eat the same healthy foods you want him to eat. Now if Daddy won’t eat the broccoli himself, then you are going to have some conflict with the kid. That’s why it is so crucial that you and your husband work together on this. See D&C 41:2 for more details.

Another point to consider is your child’s taste buds. Studies have been released that state that 20%-25% of people are what Dr. Alexandra Woods Logue termed >supertasters. Simply put, a supertaster is someone with a much higher concentration of taste buds than most people, making him more sensitive to many flavors. What might not be bitter to you (like broccoli) just might be very, very bitter to your child — if he is indeed a supertaster. Keep that in mind and watch for signs of supertasting in your children. I’ll give more details on this subject in part 3, “Get the Food in Their Mouths.”

In all of this decision-making, the main point is to keep your eye on the Lord. Make sure that you are listening to His counsel and not falling back on your own vain ambitions. I know that might sound silly, thinking about what the Lord wants when it comes to what you feed your kids for dinner. But you probably already do apply this in some degree. Remember the Word of Wisdom? Don’t we already teach our kids not to drink coffee or smoke cigarettes, or eat any of those things that are blatantly harmful to our bodies?

So you are actually doing better than you already thought!

Remember the quote from President Hinckley? Teaching is the key to leadership in the Church. And isn’t parenthood the most important calling you will ever have? So, teach your children the Word of Wisdom, and that moderation is good. And at younger ages, make sure to include teaching by example. Remember, if mommy and daddy eat the broccoli, than the kid is likely to eat it too.

This information is just the tip of the iceberg; there are so many variances to the particulars of anyone’s given situation, but all you really need to remember is to put the Lord first, and get yourself and your husband unified on this goal. Ask yourselves, “What does Heavenly Father want us to do in relation to our children?”

I’m also hosting a scavenger hunt. The first person to collect all the clues and decode the message and submit, wins the whole lot — everything from the Homemaking Helpers basket. You can begin the hunt by visiting http://www.enlightenedhomemaker.com

Natalie is the editor of the Enlightened Homemaker newsletter.

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