Have you ever stopped to think of your career of homemaking as a career of service? You probably have. It should seem obvious. From the time the little eyes of your children pop open in the morning to the time they drift shut at night, your life is a constant game of feeding, changing, healing, entertaining, feeding, changing, answering the phone, laundry, groceries, and the tasks repeat themselves. A typical homemaker’s day is riddled with opportunities to serve.
Now I’m going to ask the previous question again, only this time we’ll delve a little deeper by replacing a few words:
Have you ever thought of your career as a homemaker as a career in training for the next life?
Have you ever thought of homemaking in this light before? If we’ve been listening to the world and those stooped in it telling us that real service can only be done away from home, we probably haven’t really understood just how similar homemaking comes to Deity.
But when you parallel the true meaning of service — which is what true homemaking stands for — to the true meaning of Godhood, they seem to walk hand-in-hand. And this is especially true if a mother understands and complies with the acts of service that come so naturally to her everyday life.
President Marion G. Romney has said this much better than I ever can. According to his enlightened knowledge of the gospel, “Service is not something we endure on this earth so we can earn the right to live in the celestial kingdom. Service is the very fiber of which an exalted life in the celestial kingdom is made.” (Marion G. Romney, “The Celestial Nature of Self-Reliance,” Ensign, June 1984, 4)
But you might ask, how can that be? We are only women. How can services of wiping noses and changing diapers make us like Heavenly Father?
A life dedicated to service is a life that teaches us to be like God. As women we don’t have to be professionals to obtain it; just good homemakers, good wives and mothers to our little eternity here on earth. For according to President Thomas S. Monson, “A happy home is but an earlier heaven.” ( Thomas S. Monson, “Precious Children — A Gift from God,” Ensign, Nov. 1991, 67)
And from our home, then we can branch out to serve others. Remember the pattern established by Enos? I outlined it in my last column. If you’d like to review this process click here.
And let’s not forget the words of King Benjamin that, “[W]hen ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God” (See Mosiah 2:17). There really is something noble about true service.
What is Real Service?
Now that we’ve established that service is important — even training for the next life — people who read this piece might be inclined to go sign up for every community service program and shuffle their kids to every service activity available. But before anyone moves, we would be wise to first stop to define what service, true service, in actuality is.
Let’s start with a short quiz. I’m going to cite three examples of service and I want you to identify what they have in common that makes them true service.
- Changing a dirty diaper.
- Preparing a simple, nutritious dinner.
- Taking your toddler’s hand while crossing the street.
Here’s a possible answer:
First, all three examples address a real need. No one will dispute that a diaper that needs changing, needs changing. Food is a must because as we all know, when people are hungry, they get a little cranky and cease functioning like humans. Toddlers need assistance when crossing a street; they don’t understand the danger of traffic. Yes, it would seem all three examples attend to real needs.
Second, depending on the age and capabilities of any given child, all of the above examples are of situations where the very young cannot and /or should not be expected to do the given task for themselves. I can’t imagine an average infant changing his own diaper or preparing himself a meal. And surely the toddler, even though he can walk, shouldn’t be allowed to make the decision to cross a street on his own. And I’m sure you would agree.
These two previous statements are accurate because they are founded on a key principle given to us by President Brigham Young:
Our great benefactor, Brigham Young, understood the basic principle that you cannot help a man permanently by doing for him what he could do and should do for himself.
President Marion G. Romney also understood this principle and gave specific counsel to parents when he stated, “We often do for our children that which they should do for themselves, rather than spend the time and effort, and exercise the patience necessary to teach them how, and induce them to do it. But to what end? To the ruin of our children in many cases.”
President James E. Faust said it this way, and he brings these acts of service in the realm of Christ, “This is a Christlike service because we are doing something for them that they cannot do for themselves.”
And to further impress this point, God himself set the ultimate example of this principle of service. As President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “It is proper during this season when we commemorate His birth [Christ’s birth] that we remember the Lord Jesus Christ in reverence and with love. He has done for us what we could not do for ourselves.” [iv]
Four latter-day witnesses, all prophets of God, proclaim it: service is doing for someone that which they cannot and should not do for themselves. Is it really that simple? Can this definition be laid like a template over any situation and determine whether or not an act qualifies as service? Perhaps. But are there not so many varying circumstances that service can’t be defined so simply?
Just remember who the cited sources are on this definition of service: Brigham Young, Marion G. Romney, James E. Faust, and last by not least, President Gordon B. Hinckley. That’s two apostles and two prophets of God. Maybe we would be wise to at least stop and consider that this may be a true and accurate, even eternal, definition of service.
I’ve published a free quiz game called the True Service Challenge on www.EnlightenedHomemaker.com. The purpose of the quiz is to discern if certain everyday acts are real service. The quiz is accessible here:
And That Is Why It Is Noble
It would seem that the more basic the needs we are meeting, the more noble the service becomes, because nobody but the bravest are willing to do it. And such service is found most especially with family in the home.
Where is the recognition and praise for waking up in the wee hours of the night to feed a crying baby? Where are the honorary awards for preparing three daily meals, no matter how simple or extravagant they might be? Where is the fanfare for raising society’s future citizens and leaders?
It’s hard work with little praise and therefore few really want it.
Satan knows this and has been using just about every tactic in his 6,000-year-old repertoire to confuse men and women about their family roles and distract them from the real purpose of family. Satan can’t have a family, and he knows that God’s plan hinges on families (see Moses 1:39). Elder David A. Bednar brings that to our attention in his recent World Wide Leadership Training address on the family:
Satan does not have a body, he cannot marry, and he will not have a family. And he persistently strives to confuse the divinely appointed purposes of gender, marriage, and family. Throughout the world, we see growing evidence of the effectiveness of Satan’s efforts.
Children are the future of our civilization. Those children will grow up to hopefully become great missionaries like the sons of Mosiah, they will be Church leaders, and they most importantly will be future mothers or fathers.
This is how a homemaker not only engages in service, but also gives most nobly of herself to shaping the future. And such service includes our responsibilities in the next life. Heavenly Father is in the family business (again, see Moses 1:39), and as wives and mothers with our husbands, so are we. If that isn’t true, if that isn’t noble, I don’t know what is.
Natalie is the editor of the Enlightened Homemaker newsletter.
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Ezra Taft Benson, "Concerning Principles and Standards," Church News [4 June 1947]: 5
Marion G. Romney, Conference Report, April 1943, 29
James E. Faust, “The Phenomenon That Is You,” Ensign, Oct. 2003, 56
Gordon B. Hinckley, “A Testimony of the Son of God,” Ensign, Dec. 2002, 3
David A. Bednar, “Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan,” Ensign, June 2006
