Do you have a problem with whining and/or complaining in your home? Time for some FHE Fun!

Opening Song: #197 A Happy Helper

Opening Prayer: By invitation.

Devotional: How ‘bout some cool spontaneous scripture sharing! What scripture moved you this week? Did a scripture help any of your children? Let them share and say why. Talking with each other during FHE Devotionals makes strengthening each other easier as a family. Devotionals needn't be more than five minutes or so, but wow, are these scriptural five minutes potent when done kindly and tenderly!

Activity:

Items Needed:

• Timer (whether on your cell phone, kitchen clock, or an actual stop watch)
• Scriptures
• Hymnbook (or use the online link provided below)
• Paper (with each family member's first name written in different quadrants on the page)

Pull out a hymnbook and begin singing verse 2 of “Count Your Blessings”, whether by yourself or as a family .

Then invite a volunteer to come to the front of the room. Ask him or her to count blessings for as long as they can, reciting any kind of blessing they can think of—from “I'm grateful for my eyelashes” to “I'm grateful for my Dad.” Pull out a stop watch (or timer of your choice) and time him or her.

Ask for another volunteer. Have them come to the front, and with a most serious face, ask them to beginning complaining (it is imperative, though, they avoid hurtful comments). Pull out the timer and indicate the goal is to see if they can break the world's longest record for whining. Have fun. Time the individual until they run out of whiny things to say (no help allowed from the crowd). When he or she finally runs out of complaints, have him or her sit down. Ask the family to notice what kind of feeling entered the room as the complaints went on. Is it easy or hard to focus on what we don't have?

Ask for another volunteer “ who is very powerful.” But this time, before he or she begins to list as many blessings as possible, invite the family to notice what kind of spirit enters the household when we speak out loud our blessings. Time the individual to see if they can break the previous “whine time.” Invite creativity in naming any and all blessings—this time allow the family to pitch in and help. See how long you can make this last!

Application:

Expressing out loud our blessings will do everything from uplifting the feeling in the home to (believe it or not) dealing with depression. That which we think and speak creates our perspective. Literally! What we talk about we focus on. Words are very powerful, more so than we realize, in creating our present world.

Teach your family that when discouraged, the best thing to do is pray. But what if we're so depressed we can't think of anything to say to God? That's when we pull out our tool of “timing our blessings” during prayer.

Begin praying for as long as you can by simply stating the blessings you can think of. Such as, “Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for my toys (or my job, if you're an adult). Thank you for my bed. Thank you for my blanket. Thank you for my health. Thank you for my friends. Thank you for my teeth. Thank you for my nose. Thank you for my toes,” etc.

The kids may get a good chuckle as they think of all the different, yet fun things they can thank Heavenly Father for during prayer. Yet there are people on this earth actually lacking in any or many of the things stated above. Some people do NOT have teeth. Some people do NOT have toes, or beds, or blankets, or any number of things. Yet some of the most humble of people are the most grateful. Why is that?

Summary:

The point to share with your children is that expressing complaints (“whine time”) OR expressing blessings (“gratitude time”) is a choice. “Whine time” always brings unhappy feelings; “gratitude time” brings stronger contented feelings and creates a better reality. That for which we express gratitude tends to increase. The reverse is also true.

Ask the family what they have learned from this lesson. After they have shared their thoughts, pull out the piece of paper and place it on the fridge. Write each person's name on a portion of the paper, including the adults'. Ask the kids to watch for expressions of gratitude during the week. Make a game of seeing how many times each person can express gratitude out loud in the next seven days. When they do, have someone notice and put a smile by their name. See how many smiles the family can rack up by next Monday!

Read from the following two scripture sets during the coming week for family scripture time. Ask the family each night to notice where the power of spoken words takes a person.

Close by bearing your testimony as to the importance of gratitude actually spoken.

Closing Song: #164 Great God, To Thee My Evening Song

Closing Prayer: By invitation.

Struggling with your teens? C.S. Bezas' book is an essential help for parents and youth leaders. Powerful Tips for Powerful Teachers teaches you how to create powerful change. Visit your local LDS bookstore or get your copy online here.