United We Stand, Divided We Fall
By C.S. Bezas

There was a song many years ago that played frequently on the radio. The title was "United We Stand, Divided We Fall." The message of that song was obvious. And it still rings true today. Unity is essential if we are to build strong relationships, most importantly within the family. But how do we build unity within the family — especially if there are wide-ranging differences?

President Kimball said twenty-five years ago:

One of the best ways to nurture love and harmony within the family is to play together. This is the focus for our Family Home Evening fun this week. The activity below is zany, it's easy, and best of all, it's free!

FHE Fun

Opening Song. #261, “Here We are Together,”

Devotional. A devotional time during FHE is the perfect time for family members who so desire to explain, share, and/or testify of an uplifting experience they had during the previous week. Or perhaps they had an "aha!" moment while reading their scriptures. What a special time to look forward to each week, knowing family members seek the Lord through personal scripture study, prayer, and service — and later are willing to share those experiences during FHE devotional time. If this doesn't work well initially, don't give up. Learning to converse in spiritual terms can take time.

Theme. Read aloud to the family the FHE Theme for this week:

Invite family members to explore for a minute or two what this statement means to them.

Application.

Most weeks we have the "activity" first, then the "application" of that activity second. But this week, we're flipping it!

Once the family has completed the "application" portion of the theme, let them know two things:

This is why when we enhance any desired characteristic within ourselves first, we typically find others beginning to treat us in that very same manner (of course not overnight — but over time). Therefore, invite each person to focus on their selected trait this week — by choosing one activity each day to manifest that desired trait toward others in the family.

To finish, re-read this week's FHE theme to remind each other that a successfully united family builds that success over a lifetime and in the Lord's way — not just with "five second formulas."

(Optional: Purchase shiny stars and post a sheet of paper titled "The Lord's Way" on the refrigerator. Every time a family member extends his desired trait towards another family member, he can put a sticker on The Lord's Way sheet. See how many stickers can build up before next week's Family Home Evening!)

Activity.

First, a note for the parent. In the interest of building family fun and time together (in inexpensive ways), we're going to do a zany activity this week. Remember when you yourself were young and built forts out of blankets, towels, sheets, or anything you could get your hands on? Remember how that feeling of coziness enveloped you? A sense of safety? A sense of security? A sense of fun?

All of those feelings when shared as a family bring about a bond that is difficult to break. Last week we talked about "A family that plays together stays together." The sentiment in that statement is true. Thus, explain to your kids that you're now going to build a family "fort." And that although you'll be building it with chairs and blankets and sofas and sheets, the fort is not just about these earthly materials. Ask them to guess what they think it is about or symbolizes. (Make sure to explain that term to the little ones.)

Let each child find one thing to contribute to the "fort" — whether it is a blanket from their bed or a pillow to make the inside of the fort comfy. Whatever they might bring, let them bring it. If the mess is difficult for you to handle (trust me, I know the feeling), push it aside for just a few minutes or so. Our focus during this FHE is to build bonds, and sometimes life just is meant to be messy.

While the kids are excitedly building your family's "fort," just stand back and watch the glee spill over their faces, through their bodies, and out their hearts to you. Let them be the ones in charge of this family project. Listen with your ears to their happy sounds. Watch with your eyes the sparkle in theirs. After all, when was the last time Mom or Dad was actually ready to get on their hands and knees to play with them like this?

Once the fort is build, have everyone cram inside. Oh, there will be giggles and "you're squishing me" and all kinds of commotion. But once everyone has settled down and it's gotten a bit quiet, tell them how much you love them. Tell them how proud you are of them. Tell them of the Father's love for them. Because if you look long and hard and deep enough into their little faces (or even their teen-sized faces), those kinds of feelings will begin to surge forth. Even for the kids perhaps most difficult to love, when the spirit is present our hearts can surge with a birth of emotion and care for them.

Spend as long as you would like with your kids in your family's "fort." Ask them what they think it represents. Enjoy their creative minds as they muse over the symbolism of the event. Then make sure to let them know their ideas are all correct; that as a family is "united", nothing can tear it apart — even though there are many who seek to do so.

Finish your "fort" experience by perhaps singing a few campfire songs or even a few Primary songs. But before tearing the fort down, again tell your kids (and spouse) how much you love them. And that nothing, but nothing, can destroy this family if all are united in living life "The Lord's Way."

Closing Song. #20, “Thanks to Our Father.”

Closing Prayer. By invitation.

Refreshments. A great refreshment for this week would be a camping treat such as "S'mores" or roasted marshmallows outside over the hibachi stove. The goal is whatever works, is fun, and brings the family together in hugs and chattin'/chowin' moments!"

Summary

There is much in the world today that seeks to dissolve the seams of the family. But when we seek a lifelong pattern of living after "the Lord's Way," we will be able — with the Lord's aid — to preserve our family for eternity. Part of that preservation comes through spiritually binding moments together and part of it comes when we simply play together.

So be prepared to have a free and easy Family Home Evening this week. And while you're at it, why not take a few pictures of the experience. You just never know when the memories you make will be strong enough to last a lifetime!

C.S. Bezas' book is now in LDS bookstores and has been described as perfect for youth leaders and parents of teens. Powerful Tips for Powerful Teachers: Helping Youth Find Their Spiritual Wings is also available by clicking here.

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