What do We Rejoice In?
By C.S. Bezas

What truly do we rejoice in? This is a difficult question indeed.

Along these lines, therefore, what do our instincts currently show? What kinds of TV shows are we attracted to? Movies? Literature? Music? Forget worrying about the kids; just where are we as their examples?

The other day I heard the phrase, "Music influences." I think most people would agree with that statement. But to what degree is that true for us? To what degree is it true for our youth?

Look at what these researchers have turned up in regard to music's impact in the lives of adolescents. Professors Donald Roberts and Peter Christenson write in It's Not Only Rock & Roll:

These researchers also point to music having a stronger influence on the lives of youth than any other form of media.  So here is perhaps another difficult question: what kind of music exists within the walls of our homes? What CDs, tapes, or even records, rest on the shelves within our own bedrooms as adults, or inside the bellies of our iPods?

And what about our kids' music? When was the last time you took a tour of your child's iPod or MP3 device? What you find there might shock you to listen to it. Perhaps not, but if so, what is a parent to do? If a child is in the public schools, he will get exposure to ill-based music even if it is not at home.

Parents Are the First Line of Defense

Parents are the first line of defense for safety for the Lord's children. It is time we took charge, if we have not yet. But there is good news in all this. John Murray is a Kansas State University professor of developmental psychology. He teaches parents that what they say does have an impact. The more parents talk with their kids about parental concerns, he says, the more a seed of healthy understanding is planted within those youth.  Read his article here (http://mentalhealth.about.com/library/sci/0102/blparent102.htm).

Fortunately for us as Latter-day Saints, we not only have researchers out in the world putting in time to understand the minds of youth, but we also have prophets and apostles who speak for the Lord. What better source is there to turn to than that for understanding in these matters?

Here is what our church leaders have counseled regarding music:

In the "For the Strength of Youth" pamphlet**, our leaders issue a clarion call that applies not only to the youth, but also to their parents:

Music Sticks with Us

Music sticks with us. Anybody from the United States who is older than 40 can probably sing the standard Oscar Meyer theme song. Did we learn it in school? No. Were we forced to memorize it? No. Simply from fleeting exposures here and there on television, that song is wrapped in the minds of most adults in today's world — without any effort!

The Oscar Meyer tune is a cute one. But what about the not so cute tunes? Music has a way of remaining with us far longer than many other impressions. Therefore, doesn't it behoove us to guard that which we expose ourselves to?

This is the purpose of this week's Family Home Evening lesson we offer you from Meridian Magazine. May you have great fun, all the while teaching a important lesson to your children. That which we expose ourselves to impresses itself and remains with us — whether we like it or not.

FHE Fun!

Opening Song: #301 I Am a Child of God. Click here to learn all the verses: http://www.lds.org/churchmusic/

Opening Prayer: Ask for a volunteer to offer the prayer, perhaps one who has not prayed recently.

Devotional: Invite family members to share a scripture they discovered during the week or perhaps an exciting missionary moment they experienced. Ask them to share their feelings and/or perspectives about the scripture.

Theme:   “It really matters what you listen to ... Select music that will strengthen your spirit."

—Elder Russell M. Nelson, Ensign, Nov. 1985, 32.

Activity:

Items Needed:

• finger paint
• potatoes
• safe knife
• pencils or pens
• paper plates
• a wide variety of music to be played on a player (or visit iTunes during this part of the lesson)

1. Cut potatoes in half (cut enough so each family member will receive one).

2. Each person draws a shape onto his potato half. Invite creativity, but keep in mind that simple shapes are easiest, such as a sun, a star, etc).

3. The parent uses the knife to cut away carefully the excess surrounding the shape drawn on the potato, exposing a raised shape. Make sure not to cut off the shape portion!

4. Distribute one paper plate per person.

5. Pour out paint onto paper plate. Allow each person to dip his potato shape into the paint and then press the shape onto his plate.

6. Carefully slice off shape. Draw a new shape onto the potato half and repeat the process.

Application: The shape of the potato determined the resulting painted figure on the plate, even when the shape was changed. This is the same with music. What we expose ourselves to shapes our thoughts, our attitudes, our activities, and our feelings.

Each style of music will have a different kind of impression or impact, just like the painted potato did. Even though the potato was the same, it had been cut into a new form. Thus, it left a different effect on the plate. We are as the plate. That which we expose ourselves to, leaves it's own mark.

For example, some individuals struggling with addictions have reported that listening to hard rock music increased their desire or interest in drugs.

Now, for an extension of the potato activity, play an excerpt from classical music. Ask family members what images they get in their heads as they listen to a classical piece (for example, "The Ride of the Valkyries," by Wagner). Next, listen to a piece of music that is a "grandma" or "elevator" style of music. What images or thoughts come into their minds? Then play a song by John Phillip Sousa, such as "Stars and Stripes." Finish up with a song by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Ask the same question.

If the children actually have a positive response to harder music, it is usually because they associate positive connections to friends who listen to such music. Not that the associations are positive, perhaps, but the acceptance is the key. This then is an opportunity to find out how your children feel about certain kinds of music, why they feel that way, and how it's influencing their attitudes and their moods.

[If you do not own a wide variety of music genres or do not have access to iTunes to sample different styles, you could always sing or play different hymns to compare the differences between, say, "Called to Serve Him" and "Families Can Be Together Forever" or even "Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree" vs "I Know the Redeemer Lives."]

Closing Song: "Jesus Wants Me For a Sunbeam" This is a great song to demonstrate that a song can influence our actions. Most kids who have been in Primary will find it very difficult not to respond with motions as they sing this song.

Closing Prayer.

Refreshments.

Summary

If we are to be found pure and worthy when Christ returns, it behooves us to make sure we live pure and worthy lives. Music is one of the great influencers, be it for good or bad, in that process.

As parents we have the responsibility (and the right) to be aware of and concerned about the music our children listen to. We are their stewards after all, a God-given responsibility to ensure their physical and spiritual safety. We are to lead and guide these sweet children back (hopefully) into the presence of God himself.

Therefore, if we listen to music that offends the Spirit, what kind of examples are we? Yet within that choice, we have demonstrated our inner thoughts - thoughts demonstrating that we would rather succumb to the flesh rather than heed our Father's spiritual desires. If we are incapable of removing unworthy music from our personal libraries, what hope is there our children will?

What truly is it that we rejoice in? It is a difficult question indeed. Yet our children's eternities require that we reflect deeply and answer the query. I believe that answer will be an excellent one, for Meridian's readers are serious about preparing a life of beauty for their children.

* For more quotes on music, click here:

** To download a copy of "For the Strength of Youth", click here:

C.S. Bezas' book is now in LDS bookstores and has been described as perfect for youth leaders and parents of teens. Powerful Tips for Powerful Teachers: Helping Youth Find Their Spiritual Wings is also available by clicking here.