Dealing with Heartbreak
By C.S. Bezas

One thing is sure in this life — we experience a wide range of events. When events are joyous, they are easily received. But when thorny issues present themselves insistently as burrs in our side, things become more difficult for many.

It is one thing to talk about a testimony in remaining faithful to God; it is another thing to deal with heartbreak and not lose faith in God.

Spiritual resiliency is an essential part of living in mortality. Many sudden events can topple us otherwise. When life gets tough, do we doubt God? Do we give up?

The experiences of life are varied, yet the difficult ones often all lead to the same emotion — heartbreak. For example, one woman experienced the unexpected death of her husband. Another woman's son became a quadriplegic due to an accident at a pier. Still another individual learned his son had been injured in Iraq.

Difficult times aren't found only in injury or in death, though. They can be manifest through the loss of a job or through the destructive actions of another. Sometimes they come in the form of devastating weather or societal upheaval.

Whatever the manifestation of sorrow or difficulty may be, if we are found without testimony of God's goodness during that event, danger surges in the potential misinterpretation of that event.

What a Testimony Is

According to the Church's main website listed here,  a testimony is defined as "a spiritual witness given by the Holy Ghost." And it is "testimony" that gives us ballast when everything else is careening crazily out of control.

I know a little of this, because that "spiritual witness given by the Holy Ghost" came to me during the week my husband and I lost our son to SIDS. The day before our son's passing, the Holy Ghost began to surge in strength. The presence of the Holy Ghost became so strong by the time I retired to bed that I wondered at its power.

The next morning I woke to find my baby had died in his sleep. Was this an event I would choose to change? Absolutely. Was this an event I could change? No. And it was from the early moments of discovering my baby's limp body that the Spirit began to work the miracle of "testimony."

The Miracle of "Testimony"

A quiet whisper repeated in my heart and mind for days after my baby's death: "This is not a mistake. This is not a mistake." I cannot tell you why I was told this repeatedly for days. But I am grateful for this "spiritual witness given by the Holy Ghost" that God is good, He is over all and was tending to our little family during this time of our personal heartbreak.

In spite of the heartache of that time during our lives, the miracle of that spiritual witness or "testimony" saw our family through to a quiet resolution that we would continue firm in our understanding and knowledge of the gospel.

That experience has remained with me. The beauty of the miracle of testimony fills my heart with awe. I rejoice in speaking of it even to this day, because the immense nature of God's magnitude during that trial still amazes me.

But what of my children? What of their future heartaches? Are they prepared to face those potential (and sometimes necessary) heartbreaks with a full knowledge that Heavenly Father is real? That Jesus Christ does live? And that God stands to succor them in their private time of need?

Do my children have a full grasp that they are loved with the complete immensity of power that God possesses? Do they have an understanding of the purpose of the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ? Do they thrill to know that still the Lord speaks through His prophets to help each of them find their way back home?

What about all the children in the Church? Do today's youth have a "testimony", a spiritual and abiding witness given through the Holy Ghost to this above and more? If not, what are we — as their parents and adult leaders — doing to aid them in obtaining this?

What a Testimony is Not

Perhaps someone outside of our faith might erroneously conclude that a "testimony" is a random package of parroted words heard over the pulpit on Fast Sunday. Perhaps even some members feel the same way.

But this is not the case. To truly understand "testimony," we simply need look at the doctrine stated at the Church's website in the link above. Again, a testimony is "a spiritual witness given by the Holy Ghost." There is nothing recited, memorized or "canned" about this.

True, a testimony could be faked. Perhaps there are those individuals who stand at the pulpit and merely recite a set of words. But in the fiery furnace of life, the thin words of rhetoric easily disappear into nothingness and the individual is left to face his personal beliefs about God's presence, the purpose of life, and the purpose of suffering.

To Seek a Testimony

The foundation of a testimony begins with a spiritual witness as to the reality of our Heavenly Father and of His love for us (see D&C 6:22-23). How does one begin to arrive at this understanding? One begins by desiring it (see Alma 32:27).

Also stated at the link above, "members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have the sacred opportunity and responsibility to obtain their own testimonies" (emphasis added). In fact, we are taught that our happiness in this life (and in the next) depends on how valiant we are in these testimonies (emphasis added, also see D&C 76:79).

To obtain a testimony, it becomes important to understand how the Holy Ghost operates in witnessing of truth. This takes time, effort (see Moro 10:3-5), scripture study, knowledge (Gal 5:22-23), prayers (see James 1:5-6), and general seeking of God's will (D&C 125:2), amongst other things. Fasting will accelerate the process (see Alma 5:45-56; 36:8, 22).

But testimony really comes to the forefront when we are confronted with difficult moments (see D&C 62:3). It is usually only after a choice to trust in God (in spite of what we face) that we receive the "spiritual witness" we seek (see John 7:17). The Lord shares His most priceless blessings with those who seek Him with ever-growing fullness of heart, mind, and purpose (see 1 Cor 2:9-14; D&C 88:81, 83).

So let's get busy building those testimonies with this week's Meridian FHE Fun & Ideas!

FHE Fun

Time for a little FHE Fun! To help matters out, here is a simple outline you might choose to follow as you teach the importance of testimony and how it can stabilize our children and ourselves in life.

(Preparation Prior to FHE: Start from one side of the house and lay out Hershey's kisses in a little path to the opposite side of the house. It is most effective if the trail of kisses leads from one room to another to another, with a foot or so in between chocolate sweet. Make sure that if you have a pet, to put it in seclusion so it does not eat the chocolate, which can be poisonous to animals. And, obviously, if allergies exist in your family, feel free to use a different method to illustrate this point.)

Opening Song

Why not learn Hymn #45, "Lead Me into Life Eternal," for this week's Family Home Evening? Here is a link to access the Church's music website. At the site you can hear only the accompaniment to the hymn or you can choose to hear singing in addition to the music. http://www.lds.org/cm/display/

Opening Prayer

Ask for a volunteer to pray. Make sure that as each week goes by the blessings for prayer get distributed evenly amongst the family. But remember the Lord does not force our participation. Thus, it might be good to follow in His footsteps in this matter.

Devotional

This is a terrific time to open up a few minutes for a family member to share a spiritually significant thought that came to him or her during the week, whether from scripture study, personal prayer, or even a missionary moment.

FHE Theme Scripture

Select a scripture from the scriptures listed throughout this article as your theme scripture for this lesson on "Testimony." Make sure to read early on each of the mentioned scriptures in this article so that you can spend time pondering them privately in preparation during the week. This way you can be led to the one which would bless most your family this week. During FHE, have your family open up their individual scriptures and read the selected verse out loud in unison. Ask for their personal thoughts on how this scripture could help them in the coming week.

Game

• Hershey's kisses
• homemade sign that reads "Testimony" (placed at the end of the trail of kisses)

[It is best if prior to FHE, you've already set out the trail of kisses with the "Testimony" sign hidden, but in place.]

Position the family at the beginning of the trail. Then invite them as a group to find where it ends. Ask them to notice how many kisses they find and allow them to take turns eating each discovered kiss.

Once they have arrived at the "Testimony" sign, uncover it. Then have them take it and return to where you started. Tape the "Testimony" sign in a place everyone can see.

Application

Let everyone get comfortable, then open up a discussion. Ask them what the chocolate sweets have to do with a "testimony". Let them explore that idea. You might be surprised at the depth of ideas they come up with.

Then ask them what the journey they went on signifies to them as to finally arriving at the "testimony" sign. You also might ask them how does one learn from this experience so that during the middle of our journey on this earth, we don't lose track of our path?

Read the following quote: "A testimony is a spiritual witness given by the Holy Ghost." Ask them what that means to them and how a spiritual witness given by the Holy Ghost can be a prized possession during times of difficulty.

Allow time for individuals to share their thoughts, their testimonies, and the sweet experiences they have had with the Holy Spirit in their lives.

Closing Prayer

Refreshments

Summary

It is one thing to talk about a "testimony"/remaining faithful to God; it is another thing to deal with heartbreak and still not lose faith in God nor in His goodness.

One thing is sure in this life — we experience a wide range of events. When events are joyous, they are easily received. But when we must deal with heartbreak, that can become quite challenging.

Thus, it behooves us to ask if when life gets tough, do we doubt God? Do we give up?

Hopefully through this week's FHE ideas, you'll have helped your children learn more about what a testimony is, how to grow personally within one, and how to remain joyous and faithful throughout life — even if at times the journey becomes difficult. Even then, in spite of our heartaches, we'll arrive back where we came from — God's holy presence.

C.S. Bezas' book is now in LDS bookstores and has been called perfect for youth leaders and parents of teens. Powerful Tips for Powerful Teachers: Helping Youth Find Their Spiritual Wings is also available by clicking here.

Additional Resources

At http://www.mormon.org/mormonorg/eng/basic-beliefs/
the-restoration-of-truth/god-is-your-loving-heavenly-father

At http://www.lds.org

"Pure Testimony," M. Russell Ballard, Ensign, Nov 2004, 40-43.

"Securing Our Testimonies," Donald L. Staheli, Ensign, Nov 2004, 37-39.

"The Power of a Strong Testimony," Richard G. Scott, Ensign, Nov 2001, 87-89.

"The Importance of Receiving a Personal Testimony," Robert D. Hales, Ensign, Nov 1994, 20-22.

"Testimony," Charles Didier, Ensign, Nov 1991, 62-64.