Be a Hedge-Maker
By C.S. Bezas

In many ways, an experience I had in my youth reminds me of just how much the Lord knows of what choices we make. That experience forms the basis for this week's FHE lesson, so bear with me as I bare my soul a bit!

I was in fifth grade. My most favorite treats in the world were thick sugar cookies, heavily iced. My mother rarely made these. But one day I came into the kitchen to discover what felt like tray after tray after tray of these delectable morsels.

"You may have one," my mother said, kindly noticing my wistful eyes. Gladly I complied.

"I'm making these for a woman who has had a hard time," my mother said, now barely looking up. She obviously was in a hurry to finish.

"Oh," was about all I could muster as I lusted after every one of those delicious treats in front of me.

Carefully my mother took a tender cookie and placed it inside a very large, clear jar. Soon, more and more cookies joined the first and my stomach growled, giving away my interest. She only looked at me once and I knew that I would receive no more cookies.

Soon enough she finished with her careful arrangement and stood back. The decorative jar seemed to sparkle with an irresistible nature as I watched its translucent belly full of plump cookies.

"I'm going to take a shower and then go deliver these. Don't...eat...any...more." My mother looked carefully my way to make sure I understood and then left to go upstairs.

I stood, alone in the kitchen with that tempting assortment. I stepped closer and reached out, turning the jar so I could get a better view. Then a thought struck me and I smiled, flooded with its apparent brilliance. Surely my mother wouldn't notice if one cookie were missing.

Soon enough I'd selected the cookie I would pluck from the jar, freeing it from its confinement. In short order I'd eaten that cookie. But it wasn't enough. I had to have more — or so I thought.

Quickly I ate my way through a variety of cookies, each time carefully rearranging the assortment to hide my activity. As soon as I heard my mother's steps in the hallway leading to the kitchen, I moved back.

She entered into the room and smoothly said, "You've eaten more cookies."

I'm thinking, There is no way she can know that. Therefore, I denied the charge.

"No, you ate more cookies." Her eyes were steady.

"Nuh-huh." I pasted an innocent look on my eleven-year-old face.

"No, I know you ate more cookies."

"How?" I said, quite sure of my careful subterfuge.

"...Because you have crumbs all down your shirt."

I quickly looked down. Sure enough. A slew of crumbs speckled my black sweater from my chest all the way down to my eleven-year-old tummy. I'd been in such a hurry while she was away that I'd been clumsy. At that point, chagrin overcame me as I realized how stupid I appeared.

My children have heard that story over and over again. In fact, they often request the telling of it. I'm not sure why they get such a kick from it, but it reminds me of Ezekiel 22 and of the Lord's complete awareness of what His children do — especially when they think He's "out of the room."

In preparation for this week's FHE lesson, it might be good to look at the long list of "cookie jar" moments contained in Ezekiel 22 — all committed by people who knew better — the Lord's people!:

• the people shed blood (beginning with verse 3)
• the people were idolatrous, thereby defiling themselves
• they treated lightly and/or dishonored their parents (beginning with verse 7)
• they oppressed others
• they vexed the fatherless and the widow
• they despised the Lord's holy things (beginning with verse 8)
• they profaned the Lord's sabbaths
• they used slander to shed blood (see footnote to vs 9)
• they were sensual and lewd
• they were disrespectful (vs 10) and abusive
• they committed adultery and rape, including incestuous acts (vs 11)
• they took bribes to kill (vs 12)
• they were guilty of extortion
• they no longer lived God's ways because they forgot him, they left him behind (vs 12)
• in so doing, they made themselves out to be dross to Him (vs 18) [definitely not a good thing, as we all know dross eventually gets consigned to a refiner's fire]

In preparation for this week's Family Home Evening lesson, I suggest that you re-read the list and ponder the following stunning thought: These same "cookies" are abundantly present in our world today!

Thus, it is urgent that we ask ourselves if any of these "cookie jar moments" belong to us. Have we left the Lord behind in any way? Better yet, how are our children doing? Are they heeding the Lord? The consequences that came to ancient Israel are more than frightening; they are terrifying. It is a simple thing to avoid those same consequences, but first, take a look at the consequences for those who participate in such illicit behavior:

• the Lord will smite them (vs 13)
• their hearts and strength may fail due to what will come upon them (vs 14)
• the Lord gives His word that what He decrees WILL come
• they will be scattered and their filthiness will be consumed (vs 15)
• due to their choices that shaped them to become "dross", they will find themselves in the midst of the Lord's furnace (vs 18)

Ezekiel's Plea

Ezekiel provides a clue of how to avoid these kind of serious problems. But first he provides, as the Lord's spokesman, a frightening picture of the pending furnace experience for those who don't care. He speaks to those who anger the Lord because of the malicious natures they've chosen to engender:

Therefore thus saith the Lord God; Because ye are all become dross, behold, therefore I will gather you...

As they gather silver, and brass, and iron, and lead, and tin, into the midst of the furnace, to blow the fire upon it, to melt it; so will I gather you in mine anger and in my fury, and I will leave you there, and melt you.

Yea, I will gather you, and blow upon you in the fire of my wrath, and ye shall be melted in the midst thereof.

As silver is melted in the midst of the furnace, so shall ye be melted in the midst thereof; and ye shall know that I the Lord have poured out my fury upon you. (Ezek 22:19-22)

This — from a merciful being! Perhaps it might be difficult to understand such anger, unless we remember the Lord sees, knows, even feels the heinous acts of mankind committed against another. In fact, look further to what Ezekiel records, because the Lord very well could have been referring to our day. It would behoove us to take notice:

Son of man, say unto her, Thou art the land that is not cleansed, nor rained upon in the day of indignation.

There is a conspiracy...like a roaring lion ravening the prey; they have devoured souls; they have made her many widows in the midst thereof …

... they have put no difference between the holy and profane... (Ezek 22:25-26, emphasis added)

The Solution

To protect ourselves and our families, it is imperative we know the difference between the holy and profane. And do our children know the difference between the holy and the profane? If not, who will teach them? Those out in the world? I think not.

Profane means:

1. to show contempt toward God
2. vulgar
3. coarse
4. to put to an improper, unworthy, or degrading use (Second College Edition, The American Heritage Dictionary, "Profane", p. 988).

Some synonyms of "profane" might be ungodly, crude, coarse or filthy.

The process of understanding the difference between the holy and the profane begins with scripture study and prayer. The process does not end there, though. It would be well to ask ourselves difficult questions, such as:

• Do we have violent video games that degrade the sanctity of life or numb us to violence?
• Do we watch "entertainment" in any form that degrades or is violent?
• Do we participate in any activity that we would quickly cease if discovered?
• Do we pray for a sensitive heart?

Alma was most concerned about his flock of fellow church members and he gave solutions through a series of difficult questions. The list (read Alma 5) is an excellent one and we would do well by studying it consistently throughout our lives.

Living a life that seeks after the holy things of the Lord does require fashioning ourselves in directions different than that of the world. There will be times we will not fit in with those around us. But is that so troubling when we consider the opposite direction? The refiner's fire is hot and all-consuming for those who reject kind, loving and holy ways.

Thus, who will actively teach our children the charitable and holy ways of life? Perhaps if Ezekiel's people had valued the difference between the holy and the profane, perhaps far less evil would have been committed. Perhaps if God's children today valued the holy, the world as we know it could completely change.

We begin this change within the family. So, some difficult questions. Do our children value the difference between that which is evil and that which is holy? Can they even distinguish among the two?

What do our children see us do? Do they observe us say one thing at church, yet do another during the week? Do we spend time seeking after things of the world? If so, in which ways?

Difficult questions indeed, but to avoid them tends to blur and tilt us in the direction toward Satan's downward path and kingdom. And those who walk therein tend to lose their softhearted natures, becoming — as ancient Israel — unable (or perhaps) unwilling to distinguish between "the holy and profane" (Ezek 22:26).

It is time to recognize that there are certain activities that bring the spirit and certain activities which do not. Can we really defend purchasing or playing video games that reward players for killing? How long will it take us to realize that we are like the frog in the pot, with the world slowing raising the temperature in indifference to the sacred?

Difficult questions indeed. But until we are willing to analyze our daily habits, choices, and preferences, will we ever have vision enough to see clearly our lives? Will we notice if we are headed in the same direction as the house of Israel mentioned in Ezekiel 22? I'm sure they didn't start out their lives planning to "hang out" one day in the refiner's fire!

Alma's Difficult Questions

Beginning in verse 11 of Alma 4, we read of another set of "house of Israel":

And it came to pass in the commencement of the ninth year, Alma saw the wickedness of the church, and he saw also that the example of the church began to lead those who were unbelievers on from one piece of iniquity to another, thus bringing on the destruction of the people.

Yea, he saw great inequality among the people, some lifting themselves up with their pride, despising others, turning their backs upon the needy and the naked and those who were hungry, and those who were athirst, and those who were sick and afflicted.

Notice the difference, though, in the second group of church members Alma mentions:

Now this was a great cause for lamentations among the people, while others were abasing themselves, succoring those who stood in need of their succor, such as imparting their substance to the poor and the needy, feeding the hungry, and suffering all manner of afflictions, for Christ's sake, who should come according to the spirit of prophecy;

Looking forward to that day, thus retaining a remission of their sins; being filled with great joy... (Alma 4:11-13)

When Ezekiel speaks in verse 12 of chapter 22, imagine the second group of church members Alma referred to — would they have accepted those same "gifts to shed blood" that Ezekiel's people did? Would the second group Alma mentions have taken "usury and increase"? Would they "greedily [gain] of their neighbours by extortion"?

Ezekiel speaks in verse 26 of priests violating the law, profaning the Lord's holy things, and putting "no difference between the holy and profane." The ancient leaders slipped from the path as did the church members. Ezekiel describes the direction of this entire group quite clearly in verse 29 of chapter 22:

The people of the land have used oppression, and exercised robbery, and have vexed the poor and needy; yea, they have oppressed the stranger wrongfully.

Ezekiel shares the Lord's perspective in the very next verse (vs 30):

And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me for the land, that I should not destroy it: but I found none. (emphasis added)

"But I Found None"

How profoundly touching it would be for the Lord to find you and me and our children making up protective hedges and standing in the gap for today's society!

As we are willing to self-analyze, it can happen. As we humbly align our lives and our will with God's, it can happen. As we seek to recognize the difference between the holy and the profane, it can happen.

Becoming a protective hedge-maker and gap-filler requires effort. It requires asking ourselves difficult questions. It requires consistent reading of Alma 5 with honest hearts. But as we build our lives on the foundation of sincere gospel living, we can be those hedges and gap-fillers the Lord seeks. We can do it today!

We'll start now by creating next week's Family Home Evening lesson, so that our children will join us. They will be able to do this as they too learn to distinguish between the holy and the profane. And as they value the holy, they will be enabled to cleave unto it with greater fervency in this ever-darkening world.

Regardless of "the worst of times" we might find ourselves in during these latter days, our children will be found clutching the best and most holy offerings of the Lord. They will be the Lord's protective hedge-makers and gap-fillers They won't have forgotten Him, nor will we. So let's get busy with some FHE Fun and become those priceless hedge-creators and gap-fillers!

FHE Fun

Hedge-Creators

Supplies Needed:

poster paper
popsicle sticks
crayons
glue

The Family Home Evening lesson for this week is a simple one. Start with a song and a prayer. Include a spiritual thought or devotional given by a family member (pre-assigned is usually more effective). Then, having pondered how to personalize Ezekiel 22 for your family, share it in story form or even read a few verses from Ezekiel 22.

End with Ezekiel 22:30. Explain that the Lord needs hedge-creators in this world. Explain that a hedge can keep out wild animals or dangerous creatures. Ask your children to think about some of the dangerous things in this world. After thinking, let the family share their thoughts, especially as to what could harm the family.

Then give each individual a handful of popsicle sticks. Using their scriptures, old conference talks, or even their memory, have each person select a gospel principle or teaching that protects him and write that principle on a popsicle stick. Once each family member has "monogrammed" ten popsicle sticks or so, have them place the "hedge sticks" in a group pile.

As a group, encourage them now to create a protective hedge for the family by gluing onto the poster paper their newly written "hedge sticks" — in the form of a hedge. Even if some "hedge sticks" are duplicated with the same principle or teaching, no matter. It is just that much more of a reinforcement of truth and importance!

A Gap-Filler

Supplies:

slips of paper 1"x5"
pencils or pens

A hedge without an entrance is no good, because without those tiny openings, the place the hedge encircles is useless. No family member could arrive to be protected. Yet guards are needed to protect the small entrance-ways; otherwise, dangerous entities could enter into our places of safety. We must have individuals who are willing to stand in the gap, guarding the precious commodities protected by the hedge.

Within a family, we are to guard and protect one another. After we've built a strong spiritual hedge, we protect the small gaps in a variety of ways. For example, we can alert the family if an individual spiritually falls down and needs assistance. We can provide love when a family member is feeling depressed. We can be on the alert if one is struggling with a dangerous habit. There are many ways we can stand-in-the-gap to protect those we care most about in the inner circle.

Brainstorm for a few minutes how and why a family might choose to be "Gap-Fillers" for each other. Then allow a few minutes of quiet time for each person privately to choose a way he can be a Gap-Filler for the family. Have family members ponder on what their special gift is or why they might have been placed in their family. In what way can they serve as "Gap-Fillers" to help protect their loved ones? Give time for each member to quietly write down his choice on a slip of paper and then tuck it in his scriptures for future reference. No need for sharing, unless individuals feel prompted to do so.

End with testimony, song and closing prayer. Make sure to include some fun refreshments to finish off the FHE Fun!

Summary

It has been said that we live in the best of times and that we live in the worst of times. In the midst of it all, the Lord is quite aware of our doings. In fact, He is more than aware; our doings are ever before Him. Our choices matter. Therefore, it is imperative that as a family we help each other as we go through this life. We do this best as we keep our spiritual hedges strong, through being aware of gospel principles and incorporating them in our lives.

As we incorporate a truly strong hedge to protect our family — spiritually, emotionally, and in other ways — our children's understanding of the difference between the profane and the holy will increase. As that awareness grows, they (and us) will become more likely to remember the Lord — as opposed to forgetting Him, like Ezekiel's people did (and we can read where they ended up). Additionally, as we serve as Gap-Fillers for each other, we increase our likelihood that no loved one will fall prey to the ravaging "wolves" out there today in society.

Truly, we need spiritually and physically strong hedges surrounding our homes and families, in addition to standing-in-the-gap to warn and protect each other.

Our children are growing up in the middle of a society that with ever more rapidity, is throwing itself into the arms of purgatory. Are they protected from the growing filth around them? If not, we need to build secure hedges and stand in the gap until our children are strong enough to do it themselves as adults. We want them to learn to avoid as many unpleasant "cookie jar moments" as possible. Otherwise, our children's condition and choices may grow ever more dim.

Family Home Evening becomes one of the most potent tools we have to strengthen our children in this manner. Let us become a nation of hedge-builders and gap-fillers, such as the Lord sought. If we do so, as written in Ezekiel 22:30, the potential blessings are tremendous — besides avoiding that terribly hot furnace! The world depends on it (as written in Ezekiel 22:31).


C.S. Bezas' new book is now in LDS bookstores and has been called perfect for youth leaders and parents of teens. Powerful Tips for Powerful Teachers: Helping Youth Find Their Spiritual Wings is also available by clicking here.

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C.S. Bezas graduated from BYU in communications, with an emphasis in developing training programs. She has conducted trainings and workshops for audiences both large and small on a wide variety of topics and has won recognition for her writings and stage musicals. She is the owner of the new LDSMusicals.org, a site that offers free LDS music and stage productions. She has appeared as a speaker in a variety of locations in the United States and also has performed before audiences on television, stage, and film, most recently appearing as Anne Frank with the Florida Orchestra. Her new book Powerful Tips for Powerful Teachers is available in LDS bookstores and online. She serves as an EFY speaker and seminary teacher. She and her husband have four children and relish the gospel of Jesus Christ.