M E R I D I A N     M A G A Z I N E

God's Great Garden
By C.S. Bezas

President David O. McKay once referred to God as the Great Gardener, who called overseers to encourage the growth of the Gardener’s most tender plants:

Over each of these divisions in God's great garden have been placed overseers called [parents], and they are asked to nourish and to inspire God's children.

I venture the thought that the Great Gardener, in looking over His fields, can see that some are thriving in righteous activity and others are starving because of the drought of neglected duty, of the chilling atmosphere of vanity, or the blight of intemperance. Why? Perhaps because the gardeners, the overseers, had not made necessary preparations or had not performed their duty well.

The first thing to do, [parents], is to look to yourselves, to see whether or not you are prepared to teach. No one can teach that which he himself does not know.

O [parents], yours is an important calling. God help you to be true to it, to feel that part of the responsibility of carrying on God's work rests upon you (David O. McKay, "What is Your Harvest?" Instructor, May 1956, 130).

This comment by President McKay was originally given for teachers. But in inserting the word "parent" in lieu of "teacher," it applies amazingly well to mothers and fathers. Indeed, what an astonishing job we have as parents. The fact that we have been given responsibilities to attend the young in God's Garden should give us cause to pause and analyze our efforts.

In other words, are we "thriving in righteous activity" in our home? Or are our families "starving because of the drought of neglected duty"?

Balance is a tricky thing in today's world. I remember when I held three stake callings, in addition to being a weekly Primary teacher. I was often gone. This troubled me, but I wasn't sure what I should do. Yet I held concerns for the impact on my own children. I was a stay-at-home Mom, for sure, but so often my callings held my attention — even while at home.

Eventually, the Lord stepped in and soothed the hectic nature of it all. I entered into the first trimester of a new pregnancy, after which my body began to threaten miscarriage. Immediately I was released from all callings so that I could remain on bed-rest.

What a time this was for me! Used to "doing, doing, doing," I now was required to stay in bed and simply spend time with my children. And they were experiencing new adventures, too! My being flat on my back required that they learn new skills to help out around the house. My eight-year-old began to gain great vacuuming skills and my five-year-old soon learned to make her own peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, with coaching from Mom in the other room.

Our lives were now quite different. The flurry and hurry were gone. I began to see my children in a new light. And it was amazing.

I'm not sure how I could have done things differently prior to this time. When a call comes through a priesthood leader, one does the best one can to fulfill that calling. Could I have said something to my priesthood leaders about "overload"? Should I have said something? I'm not sure why I was given such a load. All I know is that I had desired to be in the right place at the right time doing the Lord's work. And I worked in that capacity the best I could.

Hindsight is 20/20. I think due to my inability to speak up during the flurry of those simultaneous stake and ward callings, my family's situation perhaps edged nearer the "drought" scenario than the "thriving." To this day, I'm grateful my body gave out so that I could tend to my own garden in the home.

Time Spent "Family Gardening"

From that experience (and yes, the pregnancy brought about a beautiful baby boy), I learned much more about the importance of tending the family's own garden first. I also learned the importance of speaking up and communicating personal needs to priesthood leaders. As my husband's MTC president used to say, "Information makes for better inspiration!"

Thus, President McKay's quote shared above holds great significance for me. I want to ensure that my family is "thriving in righteous activity." I want to make sure that while I've been selected as the Lord's gardener for my children, that I have well-made the "necessary preparations" and that I've "performed [my] duty well" for them, before any other considerations. This is where Family Home Evening factors in.

Long gone are the days where I will sacrifice time spent with my children, even for a calling. I've learned that some church efforts can be reduced and still yield great fruit. Inspiration can do much to increase efficiency and effectiveness. But no success can compensate for failure in the home! Again, this is where Family Home Evening factors in with great importance.

With that in mind, here are a few questions for you to ponder in privacy as you work to prepare your next Family Home Evening.

Self-Thought and Analysis Time.

1. When was the last time you looked directly in your child's eyes?
   
2. When was the last time you stopped/paused while your children were talking and really listened to what they were saying?
   
3. When was the last time you listened so deeply that you knew what your child’s heart was saying, not just what his lips were saying?
   
4. When did you last take time with your child (in some simple activity like being under the stars together) just to enjoy his presence and God's creations?
   
5. When was the last time you entered your child's bedroom and asked if you could join him, "simply because you missed being with him"?
   
6. When was the last time, after picking your child up from school or another event, that you said, "You are really terrific, I hope you know that"?
   
7. When was the last time you asked your spouse how his day went — and really meant the question?
   
8. When was the last time you looked your spouse directly in the eyes and told him he mattered to you?
   
9. When was the last time you held hands with any family member, "just because"?
   
10. When was the last time you giggled together as a family?

FHE Fun

Again, the purposes for Family Home Evening are many. One of the best byproducts of creating sensitive and fun activities for FHE is so that a family can bond. Remember, FHE could very well stand for a Fun-Home-for-Everyone!

As always, you'll want to begin FHE with an opening song, prayer, and devotional. Follow-up discussion from the previous week's FHE activity/lesson can always be added. Just make sure to save the majority of time for this week's fun, so that people's energy levels can remain high and so that boredom doesn't set in (even the best of folks can get bored sometimes)!

The theme for this week's FHE activity is "God's Great Garden." Here are a few fun activities to get your family's creative juices pumping and their hearts open to each other. The more a family can chuckle together, the more they weather the storms of life together.

Activity A. The Animals in God's Great Garden
Even the older kids can get a kick out of this.

1. Everyone sits in a circle in the middle of the room. Each one has 30 seconds to think of five animals and the sound or movement each one makes.
2. Starting with the youngest family member (without speaking), he or she can either make the sound of one animal OR move like that animal (but not both).
3. The next family member exactly imitates the first family member, then adds his own animal sound or movement (even if sometimes it is identical).
4. The next family member imitates the first two family members in proper order, then adds his animal's sound or movement (but not both).
5. The activity continues around and around the family circle for as long as memory lasts.

Activity B. The Flowers in God's Great Garden
This is a great summer activity before the sun sets. The items needed:

• cheap paint brushes and/or sponges
• buckets or bowls
• water

1. At a safe place in the driveway or on the sidewalk, each family member assumes responsibility for one section.
2. Within his section, each family member paints as many different versions of flowers that he can think of, using paintbrush and water.
3. Family members are free to call out, "Look at my rose!" or "Look at my petunia!", and so on, as they paint.

Activity C. The Lesson
Return inside. The items needed:

• scriptures
• journals

1. Share that the purpose of the two activities was to point out the variety of God's beautiful world and the creativity of each family member in expressing the Lord's creations. That creativity shows that each person in the family is special and has a place in the family's "garden."
2. Invite each person to look in the Topical Guide for a scripture that he could share about the beauty of the earth or about the beauty of the family — why it is needed or how families can help each other. Allow about five minutes of quiet time for this part of the activity.
3. Invite family members to testify and/or share the scripture they felt led to and how the scripture or even the activities touched or taught them.

Close FHE with a hymn and a prayer. Make sure to finish up with some yummy "eats" afterwards, such as watermelon or even a fresh salad grown from your very own garden!

Summary.

As President David O. McKay said so succinctly, "Yours is an important calling. God help you to be true to it, to feel that part of the responsibility of carrying on God's work rests upon you" (David O. McKay, "What is Your Harvest?" Instructor, May 1956, 130).

The early mistakes I made as a parent juggling church callings remind me of this quote — both for the positive and for the negative. All that we do as parents so often returns to us in one way or another. May we choose wisely so that our choices of time spent now with our children will bless them, us, and even our posterity ten-fold or more in the future.

In fact, the more time we spend tending to our family's "gardens" — be they spiritual, emotional, or even physical — the more our family will thrive in goodness, righteousness, and joy. One of the most effective tools to bring these amazing blessings about is through a Fun-Home-for-Everyone (FHE). Make sure you have yours this week!

C.S. Bezas' new book is now in LDS bookstores and has been called perfect for youth leaders and parents of teens. Powerful Tips for Powerful Teachers: Helping Youth Find Their Spiritual Wings also is available by clicking here.