Mothering with Holiness of Heart
By Debra Sansing Woods

O Lord, pour out thy Spirit upon thy servant,
that he may do this work with holiness of heart. —-Mosiah 18:12

Several years ago, while reading an intriguing magazine interview featuring a non-LDS mother of eight young children, I was struck by how calm and at ease with herself the mother seemed to be. I wanted to know her secret.

As I read through the interview, I was amazed to learn that she managed to break away from the demands of childrearing nearly every morning to drive to a nearby monastery for a period of quiet reflection and prayer. During this meditative time, she would turn her thoughts to God and to her children and ask the Lord to make her a tool for good in her children's lives that day.

As a contemplative person myself, I hunger for such time where, in my case, I can go to the temple to be spiritually nourished and to take the time to really pause and think about each of my five kids and to commit myself to being more Christ-like in my interactions with them. As beneficial as such a scenario would be, it is rare that I can find that kind of time in a given day and, like most moms I know, even if I could find the time I don't have the support system necessary to make such a daily or even weekly experience possible.

Even so, I strive to carve out some reflective, focused time every day, even if only for a few minutes behind closed doors, to turn to the Lord to seek his guidance and to ask for greater strength and wisdom in loving and nurturing my children. I find, not surprisingly, that the days when I slow down long enough to consciously invite the Spirit into my mothering life tend to be the very days that run more smoothly in our home.

Praying On Our Feet

As I’ve studied the scriptures over the years in an effort to seek guidance as a parent, I have found myself drawn again and again to Alma's prayer when he takes Helam into the waters to baptize him. Just before Alma performs the baptism, he cries out to the Lord, saying: "O Lord pour out thy Spirit upon thy servant, that he may do this work with holiness of heart” (Mosiah 18:12).

As a mother, I love this prayer because Alma is praying on his feet, so to speak. There is no time in this instance for a great, long pause in which Alma can collect himself and pray a lengthy, thoughtful prayer before he goes about doing his Father's work.

Like Alma, we mothers cannot always find time in our busy days to send a focused, well-thought-out prayer to heaven. If we are going to stay in tune with the Spirit, we're likely going to have to spend some time praying on our feet, whether those prayers are whispered to heaven while we're tackling a sink full of dirty dishes or comforting a fevered, restless child in the middle of the night. Alma's prayer reminds us that praying on our feet is acceptable and even likely pleasing to the Lord.

Powerful Words

As much as I appreciate Alma's reminder that we do not have to go off to some quiet, ideal place to connect with the Lord each day, I'm even more deeply affected by the words he uses as he prays and the inspiration those words provide for me in my prayers as a mother. If I take Alma's prayer and apply it to my mothering experience, I am reminded to ask the Lord to pour out his Spirit upon me, his servant, that I may mother my children (and his children) with a holiness of heart.

What this prayer lacks in length it makes up for in power. This prayer provides me with perspective. I cannot help but laugh when I think of the times I have wished to be a prettier, less frumpy mother or a funnier, savvier mom. The truth is that those things matter very little when compared to seeking to become a mother who parents her children with holiness of heart.

So, what does it mean to pray for holiness of heart as we go about the important and sacred work of raising our children? Each mother's answer to this question would likely be a bit different, but overall I imagine that most moms would pray for holiness of heart that includes being in tune with the Spirit on a daily basis. What a comforting way to raise our children — knowing that the Spirit can be with us, knowing that we can have access to divine guidance today, tomorrow, and everyday yet to come if we will seek it and follow it.

Praying with Holiness of Heart

In striving to mother with holiness of heart, I have prayed specifically to recognize more fully the divine natures of my children as they are indeed children of God. I have also sought through prayer to better appreciate and honor the individual worth of each of my children, for each one is a child unlike any other child who has ever been upon the face of the earth, with his or her own gifts and talents waiting to be nurtured and developed.

Although some of the specifics in my prayers have varied over the years, all of my prayers, individually and collectively, have made a powerful and positive difference in our family life.

When I pray a prayer like Alma's, but in my own words as prompted by the Spirit, I feel an immediate sense of reverence for the work I am doing in raising my kids. There will be tough days to be sure. Every seasoned parent knows this.

Even so, I have great faith that the Lord will help each of us as mothers, if we will turn to him, to raise our children in righteousness and in an abundance of love. With his help, we can become the kind of mothers he wants us to be, the kind of mothers who consistently and joyfully strive to raise their children with holiness of heart.

This article is an excerpt from Mothering with Spiritual Power: Book of Mormon Inspirations for Raising a Righteous Family, published by Cedar Fort, Inc. in September 2007. Used with permission.