Meridian Magazine :: Being in the World but not of the World (Why Our Attitudes and Our Thoughts are the Real Part of Life)

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Being in the World but not of the World (Why Our Attitudes and Our Thoughts are the Real Part of Life)
By Richard Eyre

Editor's note: During the "first half" of this column, Richard outlined and defined “The Three Deceivers” of Control, Ownership, and Independence, and detailed how our obsessions with them can ruin the quality of our lives. Then, in the the second phase of the column, he replaced the deceivers with "The Three Alternatives" of SERENDIPITY, STEWARDSHIP, and "SYNERGICITY." If you missed any of the earlier columns in this series, you can go to the Archive (see right sidebar) to catch up. Send comments to Richard@meridianmagazine.com

When we talk of being "of the world," it would be hard to find a better definition than throwing ourselves headlong into the pursuit of Control, Ownership, and Independence. These Three Deceivers pretty well define "the world" and the predominant lusts and "covetations" that it is afflicted with. Satan has "worked his magic" to where we worship and covet the very things that separate us from God.

But we live in the world, and we are told that we can (and should) find joy here. The world God has made for us, given to us, and shared with us is a beautiful place, and the whole idea of mortality, even with all its pain and disappointment, was so attractive to us in the pre life that we "shouted for joy" when we heard of it.

So does living in the world have to be the same as being of the world?

The wonderful admonition to "Be in the world but not of the world" is often interpreted to mean "Since we have to be in this terrible, awful place, we must to the best we can to separate ourselves from the world and live in our own little bubble."

I don't think it means that at all! I think the sentence is best read and best understood as two separate, related admonitions:

Be in the world! Be involved. Love life. Find joy in this world's endless beauty and diversity, and even in its challenges and hardships. Love others and try not to judge them. Know what is going on, and develop breadth and wide spread interests.Appreciate mortality in all of its variety and magnificent options.
Don't be of the world! Set your goals and live your life based on the gospel, not on the world.

Let me invite you to consider in but not of on three levels:

Train yourself (and your children) to strive to influence more than they are influenced (vis-à-vis the world). If we live our life in "protective" mode, always trying to avoid everything that could be beneath us or that might pull us away from our comfort zone, we are admitting that we are pawns on the chessboard, not kings or knights. If we worry more about how our children will be influenced by other kids than about how good an "influencer" our child is, we are living a reactionary, defensive life and encouraging our children to do the same. We need to stand firm in what we know, and teach our children to do likewise.
Remember that it is our attitudes that determine how interested we are in the world, and it is also our attitudes that determine how well we can keep ourselves from becoming slaves to the world and to its fashions. If our attitudes toward the world, and our paradigms in viewing the world, and our objectives with regard to the world all center around Control, Ownership, and Independence (COI), then we will do a great job in being in the world, but a very bad job in not being of the world. On the other hand, if our paradigms and perceptions revolve around Serendipity, Stewardship, and Synergicity (SSS) then we will see the world more realistically, and we will have little trouble in keeping ourselves from becoming of the world.
(My personal favorite interpretation) Think of it this way. You are both a physical being and a spirit. Your spirit came from the presence of God to take on a body with which we can feel, learn and experience things that will allow you to return to your Heavenly Father and to be more like Him than you are now. Somewhere between your spirit and your body is your brain. I say "somewhere between" because both your body and your spirit use your brain. Your body uses it for everything from coordinating your breathing and your walking to doing math problems. Your spirit uses your brain to take in and interpret sensory and physical data and to allow the spiritual and eternal you to inter phase with this world. So your brain is a tool of your spirit, but it is also a tool of your body. The real question is: Which one (your spirit or your body) is in control of your brain? Which of the two does your brain serve and have the most allegiance to? If your brain is most closely aligned with your body, with the physical world, and with the lusts and materialism and hedonism of mortality, then you will be in the world and of the world. But if your brain is most closely aligned with your spirit, with the humility of the Gospel and the more eternal perspective, then you will be in the world but not of the world.

The beauty of it is that we can train ourselves, and construct and determine our attitudes, and put our spirits rather than our bodies in charge of our brains. We can do all three of these by adopting the perspective of Stewardship (where we view everything as God's and disavow the idea of ownership. We can do all three by taking on the paradigm of Serendipity (where we look for and welcome God's will and His guidance rather than trying to control our own destinies). And we can do all three by living by Synergicity and enjoying our interdependence with others and our dependence on God rather than trying to be independent of either.

May we cultivate SSS in the way we live our lives, and thus not only understand but embody the lovely and worthy goal of being in the world but not of the world.

Starting with next Friday's column, we will discuss some mental and spiritual exercises that can make us less deceived by the three deceivers, and more prepared and ready to adopt the three alternative attitudes of Stewardship, Serendipity, and Synergicity.

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About the Author:

A former Mission President in London and candidate for Utah governor, Richard was the director of the White House Conference on Parents and Children for President Reagan. He served on the President's advisory panel for secondary and higher education. A graduate of the Harvard Business School, he headed a management consulting company for 20 years before giving it up to meet the growing demands of his writing and speaking schedule.

Richard and his wife Linda are parents of nine children and authors of a dozen bestselling family and parenting books. They are now focusing on the phase they are entering: Empty Nest Parenting. Through their web sites valuesparenting.com and familynightlessons.com, their frequent national media appearances and theirspeaking and lecture tours (see http://www.theeyres.com/), they continue to work at their mission statement which is, "FORTIFY FAMILIES, popularize parenting, bolster balance, and validate values."