Publisher's note: For 12 columns during 12 weeks, Richard Eyre outlined and defined “The Three Deceivers” of Control, Ownership, and Independence, and detailed how our obsessions with them can ruin the quality of our lives.  Last week began the second phase of the column, with the new name “The Three Alternatives” and the attitude of Control was replaced with the approach of Serendipity. (Click here to review last week's column.)  Today's column outlines the alternative to Ownership.  Next week, the alternative to Independence will appear.  In future weeks (always on Fridays and staying posted on the front page through the weekend) Richard will elaborate on why he believes these are better and more spiritual alternatives than each of the Three Deceivers, and in doing so will open to you a new world of thinking that may change how you live.  He continues to welcome your feedback and inputs.  Write to him at Richard@meridianmagazine.com . If you missed any of the earlier columns in this series, you can go to the Deceivers Archive (see right sidebar) and catch up.

The Easiest Guess

Of the three Alternatives, this one is the easiest to guess and the easiest to write about.  Ownership is a self-centering and ultimately false concept, but Stewardship , defined as the understanding that God owns all and gives us the opportunity to care for and be responsible for certain things, is simply (and eternally) true. 

The concept contrasts dramatically with Ownership, and produces very different results, and very different kinds of motivation.  The goal of today's column is to help us all think about the paradigm of Stewardship more deeply and on different levels than we have before, thus to be more in tune with truth and with the reasons God has put us here and given us so much.

Although almost no Meridian readers guessed Serendipity as the alternative to Control, almost everyone guessed that Stewardship would be the replacement attitude for Ownership.  We are well grounded in the Church on the idea of Stewardship, so today's column will just seek to deepen our understanding a little, to give us a clearer perspective of the world through the lens of Stewardship

The strongest defense you ever hear for Ownership is from people who believe in the political and economic principles of free enterprise and the rights of property.  That is where ambition and the right kind of pride come from, they say.  And politically, they are right. 

But Spiritually, they are wrong simply because there is a higher law, a more advanced paradigm that preserves all of the benefits and strong mindedness of Ownership, without any of its selfish liabilities. 

Let's take on and turn around a favorite example of Ownership paradigm advocates.  "To appreciate the importance of ownership, they say, just look at rental apartments that have been turned to owner-occupied condos.  Renters often trash and neglect property.  Owners generally take care of it and have pride in it."

Agreed.  So now to go to the higher paradigm, simply ask the question, "Is there any perception or perspective that would cause people to take even better care of a place than if they owned it?"  The answer is, for most people at least, "They would take better care of it if they perceived that God owned it."

What a Difference

The paradigm of Ownership pits us against each other and fosters a negative kind of competition in which we are always comparing ourselves with others and wanting more and more. E. e. cummings found a clever phrase explaining the more mentality (and hinting at the effects of it).  He said "more, more, more, more, what are we all becoming, morticians?" 

The two ultimate and most predictable (and most damning) results of an ownership perspective are greed and pride.  And often we don't recognize it in ourselves, like the man that said "I'm not greedy, all I want is the land next to mine."

Stewardship, on the other hand, implies that we are only taking care of what we have, for the true Owner.  In this attitude, neither greed nor pride can flourish.  A Stewardship paradigm brings with it a certain humility and gratitude that work as well for happiness as greed and pride work against it.

One good way to contrast the results and the feelings associated with perceived Ownership and perceived Stewardship is to compare two things (or situations) familiar to all of us in the Chruch.  In one of them, an ownership mentality is the norm, and it produces one kind of feeling, and in the other, a stewardship mentality is the norm.  Let's call them case study A and B.

Case study A

You finally bought that new car you have been wanting, but were a little worried about making the big monthly payments.  You were worried until today that is, because this morning you got a promotion and a raise at work.  You can't wait to tell your wife.  You race home, burst through the front door and yell "Honey, where are you.  Come down here and meet the new Vice President. We have really made it now, darlin!  Let's take a drive in the new car up past some of our snootiest neighbors ? they won't be looking down their noses at us anymore!" 

Both your voice and your heart are full of what you consider to be well-deserved pride.

Case study B

Your knees feel shaky as you come out of the stake president's office.  He has just extended the call to be the bishop of your ward, and you have never felt so inadequate in all your life.  You drive home slowly and find your wife, who sees how shaken you look. 

"Honey, I've just been asked to be the bishop.  There are so many that are more qualified than I.  How can it be that the Lord can put that much trust in us?  Oh how we will need His help to fulfill it.  Let's get on our knees and ask for His help."

Both your voice and your heart are full of the deepest humility.

Think about the two cases.  Why are they so different, so opposite?  In case study A, the ownership mentality prevails.  You finally got what you deserved, what you worked for, what others have had and you have wanted, and you are popping your buttons off with pride.  Now others will see you for what you really are and you will have the respect and admiration you have sought.  Within an hour or so you are thinking about a newer, bigger house to match the new car and to better fit the newer, bigger you.

With the calling, the stewardship mentality prevails.  This is the Lord's work, and this is His calling.  You have been entrusted with helping and serving Him in a particular way, and there is no question about where the call came from or about how much of His help you will need to fulfill it.  Prayer, of the most sincere and pleading kind, is the only response you can think of.

If you juxtaposition the two, it becomes almost comical.  Imagine thinking of the calling in an ownership mentality.  You come home, burst through the door, and say "Honey, we have really got it made now.  You are looking at the new bishop.  It's about time someone recognized my abilities.  Nobody will look down their noses at us anymore.  Hey, let's walk around the ward and see who runs out to shake my hand and congratulate me!"

We know callings are stewardships, and thus they produce the humility, gratitude, prayer, empathy, and later on the deep hope and joy that always comes from stewardships that are accepted and worked at diligently and prayerfully.  Imagine the depth and meaning life would have if we saw everything as a stewardship ? our possessions, our children, our bodies, our positions, our gifts and talents, everything!  The same humility and gratitude would flow as with the calling and we would begin to see the world as God sees it.

Trunks and Limbs

Another way to grasp the difference is to think of Ownership and Stewardship as the trunks of two trees, and to observe the limbs that grow on each.

On the tree with the Ownership trunk, there is a jealousy limb and an envy limb and a covetousness limb, because ownership is always comparing and competing, and it is easy to see those who have more than we do.  There is also a condescension limb and a pride limb, and a superiority limb, because it is also easy to see those who have less than we do. 

And there are selfish limbs and frustration limbs and overly-ambitious, overly competitive limbs because we want to climb over others so we can look down on them instead of up at them.

There are some good limbs on the tree ? a responsibility limb because we are motivated to take care of things we feel ownership for, and even limbs of charity and giving can sprout, but they are often choked out by the strong selfish limbs.

On the Stewardship trunk, a very different kind of limb tends to grow.  There are huge humility limbs and gratitude limbs, because we know from whence all things come.  There are appreciation limbs for the beauty and opportunity and options that He gives us.  There are empathy limbs for the stewardships and challenges of others.

There are limbs for prayer, and faith, and hope, because we know that they are the principles by which stewardships are honored and fulfilled and magnified.  The limbs of charity intertwine with the limbs of love and of sensitivity, because we know things are not ours anyway, so it is much easier to share them with others.

Three Eleven-letter “S” words

We said last week that getting rid of a false paradigm or a "deceiver" is easier if we replace it with a stronger, truer paradigm.  We need memorable, image-able, even catchy names or symbols for the Alternatives so we can "remember them and remember to remember them."  So it is fortunate that each of the three can be put into an 11-letter "S" word. 

We now have two of them.  Serendipity as the Alternative for Control, and Stewardship as the Alternative for Ownership.  Give them some thought this week, and come back next Friday and next weekend for the 11-letter "S" word that is the Alternative to Independence.  I guarantee that it is a word you have never heard before.