Meridian Magazine ::The Three Deceivers: A Poetic Clue to The Three Alternatives

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A Poetic Clue to The Three Alternatives
By Richard Eyre

Publisher's note: Perhaps the three most pursued and coveted things in our modern world are control, ownership, and independence. In Richard Eyre's mind, they are the three deceivers — and are ultimately both unobtainable and undesirable. They are, Eyre believes, the "false gods" that separate us from Heavenly Father and rob us of the things of the spirit. This column, exploring the obsessions we have developed with “CO&I”, and later outlining a better and more spiritual alternative for each, will open you to a new world of thinking that may change how you live. Richard welcomes your feedback and inputs. Take a guess at what you think the Three Alternatives are. Write to him at Richard@meridianmagazine.com . If you missed any of the four earlier columns in this series, you can go to the Deceivers Archive (see right sidebar) and catch up.

Thanks for all the very thoughtful responses on last week’s column about "the Secret."

And it has been such fun, over these past few weeks, to receive your guesses as to what the Three Alternatives to CO&I are, or might be, or should be. Your emails have taught me much!

Several of you pleaded to know the Three Alternatives now, saying that you could not wait, that your CO&I-dominated lives demanded them right away. Most of you, though, seem to be enjoying the guessing game — trying to pry yourselves away from the addictive behavior that is prompted by the paradigm of Control, Ownership and Independence and thinking hard, in the meantime, about what the Three Alternatives might be.

Lots of you have asked for "clues," and of course the biggest clues come in understanding the problems with CO&I and trying to find opposite options — alternative attitudes that do not produce the stress, selfishness and materialism of the paradigms they replace.

But, since so many have asked, I decided that this week’s column should be one extended clue in the form of a poem. Enjoy it, and see where it takes your mind in terms of how you want to live and what you think really matters.

Two Ways to Live, and Think, and Thank

Living, Type A

Be pro-active, be in charge, be self-confident,
Take control of your life.
Depend on yourself and go get the things you want.
Act, don’t react.
Plan your work, then work your plan.
Only you can know what you want,
And only you can decide what your life will be.
Set your goals, make your plans, and let no one change them
Or stand in your way.
Cultivate strength and knowledge,
For these are the differences between man and Maker.
View your life as a series of competitions that you can win,
And as an ongoing effort to prove yourself,
And rise above your rivals.
Understand that achievements are life’s measure,
And wrap your identity in positions and possessions.
Acquire, Achieve, Accumulate, Accomplish, Attain!
Let the “W&P” phrases be your guide:
Work and Plan
Will and Purpose
Winning and Pride
Worry and Pursuit
Wealth and Power
Remember the lines from Invictus by Ernest Hinley:

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishment the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Seek and develop your capacity for
CONTROL of circumstance and surrounding as well as self,
OWNERSHIP and obtaining the good things of this world,
INDEPENDENCE and being able to think and to act for yourself.
This Thanksgiving, be thankful for these three things,
And that you are in charge.

Living, Type B

Be spiritually active,
Seek guidance, be humble, turn your life over to God,
And depend on Him.
Strive to understand His plan and seek His will,
For only He knows what is best for your eternal Soul.
Be aware of His nudges and impressions,
Notice the needs of those around you,
And try never to win at someone else’s expense.
Cultivate awareness and perspective.
For these are the differences between man and Maker.
View your life as a series of opportunities to serve,
And an adventure in discovering
Who God wants you to be and what He wants you to do.
Understand that relationships are life’s measure,
And wrap your identity in your family.
Model your life after a different set of W&P words:
Watch and Pray
Wander and Ponder
Wonder and Probe
Worship and Praise
Waken and Perceive
Wait and Procrastinate (selectively)
Width and Perspective
Wisdom and Peace

Remember the lines from The Soul’s Captain by Orson Whitney:

Free will is thine- free agency,
To wield for right or wrong;
But thou must answer unto Him
To whom all souls belong.

Bend to the dust that "head unbowed,"
Small part of life's great whole,
And see in Him and Him alone,
The captain of thy soul.

Seek and develop your capacity for opposite directions
For guidance and “nudges” from God,
For making the most of what He gives you
And for dependence on God and interdependence with others.

To take a guess on what The Three Alternatives are, or to express your ideas or feedback, write to Richard@meridianmagazine.com As you make your own search for the Three Alternatives, or as you send them in to me, remember that they must preserve all of the good aspects of CO&I (positiveness, initiative, discipline, and so on) but eliminate all of the negative aspects (judgment, jealousy, conceit, presumption, envy, covetousness, and other deceiving and damaging qualities). The three Alternatives must draw us closer to God rather than distancing us from Him.

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About the Author:

A former Mission President in London and candidate for Utah governor, Richard was the director of the White House Conference on Parents and Children for President Reagan. He served on the President's advisory panel for secondary and higher education. A graduate of the Harvard Business School, he headed a management consulting company for 20 years before giving it up to meet the growing demands of his writing and speaking schedule.

Richard and his wife Linda are parents of nine children and authors of a dozen bestselling family and parenting books. They are now focusing on the phase they are entering: Empty Nest Parenting. Through their web sites valuesparenting.com and familynightlessons.com, their frequent national media appearances and theirspeaking and lecture tours (see http://www.theeyres.com/), they continue to work at their mission statement which is, "FORTIFY FAMILIES, popularize parenting, bolster balance, and validate values."