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Living with Infertility
By Kathryn H. Kidd
Our new topic comes from a reader who faces a problem that is all too common in the Latter-day Saint community. I'll let you hear her situation in her own words:
I've been an avid reader of Circle of Sisters for a long time. I enjoy the column and I've learned many wonderful things by reading it. I do have an idea for a topic that I have not seen discussed. The topic is
infertility.
We live in a church that focuses so much on family, yet there are many of us suffering. Many of us are unable to have children or only able to have one and to go on without having any more. Having had
to deal with this myself, I'll admit that it's frustrating being judged by my fellow church members. I have been called selfish and faithless. I have been shunned and not invited to baby showers for fear that I
would be offended.
I know that I am not alone, yet there are so many — including ward leaders — who do not know how to deal with this topic.
Infertility has affected many aspects of my life — mainly relationships that I have with my husband and family members. It has affected the relationship I have with Heavenly Father. Many of us suffer in silence because infertility is not something we talk about much in the Church. I hope that we can have a worthwhile conversation about this topic and that those who do not deal with this problem will gain new insight and perspective.
A reader in Colorado
Thanks for writing, Colorado. This topic is dear to my heart, because this is a situation I have faced in my own life. I've already weighed in on the subject, with a Meridian article I wrote a couple of years ago. That article actually generated a few pieces of hate mail from people who were in similar situations and believed I had no right to be happy. Fortunately, most of the people who responded were not so bitter.
But even though I've come to terms with childlessness, there are many people who are still on the journey. Many of them are making different choices from mine, and are in different frames of mind. We want to hear from all of you — those who are childless and content, those who are childless and bereft, and those who are anywhere in between. If you have advice or words of comfort for Colorado Reader, or if you want to share your own story, we want to hear from you.
Send your email to circleofsisters@meridianmagazine.com. Put something in the subject line that will let me know your letter isn't spam. And when you write, be sure to include your full name, city and state or province. (If you'd rather be semi-anonymous, sign your name as “A Reader from Michigan” or “Sandy from Timbuktu.” The important thing is that we hear from you.)
Until next week — Kathy
“No one can read the Gospels without feeling the actual presence of Jesus.
His personality pulsates in every word. No myth is filled with such life.”
Albert Einstein
© 2007 Meridian
Magazine. All Rights Reserved.
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| About the Author: |
Kathryn H. Kidd is the less agile half of the team of Clark and Kathy Kidd. A New Orleans native, she grew up in houses that no longer exist (thanks to a certain hurricane). She attended BYU as a nonmember and finally joined the Church during her junior year, after outlasting several sets of determined missionaries. After graduation she lived in Salt Lake City, where she was a reporter for the Deseret News, and where she met Clark in a local singles ward. The two of them never figured out how to reproduce, so they have spent the past three decades in assorted adventures together.
She is the author of numerous books, some of which were written with Clark. She is also associate editor of Meridian Magazine ― a post she has held since October of 2004. She and Clark live in Virginia, and have been ordinance workers at the Washington DC Temple since 1995. On the rare occasions when they have any free time, they like to travel. They are especially fond of cruises, and are at their happiest when they have just returned from a cruise and have another one in the hopper.
In the course of her journalistic adventures, she has been struck at three times by a cobra, has ridden on a snowplow, and has eaten in the Salvation Army soup line. Life is always full of excitement.
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