Boy, do we have a hot topic for you this week! Be sure to read on for a letter from a mom who needs our help in a desperate way. This is a thorny field, and I'm sure many of you will have opinions to weigh in on the subject.

But before I print her letter, we got two more responses this week about the visiting teacher whose teachee was drug-dependent. Unfortunately, one of the responses got accidentally deleted from my spam box, so if you don't see your letter here, please send it again! The letter that didn't get deleted offers this encouragement to the worried visiting teacher:

I wish I had had a visiting teacher like the sister who wrote in when I had my problem. I had dealt with extremely horrible back pain for a few years (this was 10 years ago). I went from one doctor to the next, and all they seemed to want to do was give me one pain medicine after the other. While my pain was getting worse, I didn't realize it until it was too late that I had become addicted to painkillers.

My back pain was so bad and in order to just get up and go to work, I needed to take my painkillers. Then it turned into taking them all the time. At that point I was also inactive, trying to come back to church. I hit a very dark place and the pain killers really took over. I really know what hell feels like now.

It took a wonderful bishop, a lot of prayer, a lot of scripture study, some close friends, and throwing away my pain meds to get through my addiction. It wasn't an overnight thing either. It took a couple years to get my problem under control. Yes, I did have some times where I fell back into my problem.

To those going through it, there is a way out. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can overcome this and get through it. The Savior provided a way for all of us to come back to him and to our Heavenly Father. Don't give up on yourself when you have those "bad" days. Stay strong and make it through this. Pray for constant help.

To those who know of people going through this, be there for them. Be firm and honest with them. Love them and don't stop praying for them. Whether they act like it or not, they do want and need your love and support. Don't give up on them. Pray for ways you can help them. Even if all you can do is pray for them, it's a huge help.

Someone who knows what it's like

Thanks for an excellent letter, Someone. Your letter vividly points out that nobody goes out on purpose to get addicted to a prescription drug. It just happens. I'm glad you had people there for you when you were in such a bad situation, and I hope your letter inspired readers who have loved ones who are dealing with what you experienced to jump in and lend a hand — even if the addict doesn't apparently want any help.

Okay, readers, here's today's letter.

What do you teach a hormonal teenager who you sense and know is just this side of chastity? How do you say, don't do it, but if you do it, use contraception?  What is right? 

We struggle with this in a big way.  We know we have to go forward with faith and we teach chastity all the time. We have high standards for our family and we have a long, long history of complete compliance to church programs, callings and standards. 

As much as articles in the Ensign might give helpful suggestions (such as keep your teens active in Seminary and YM/YW, have them read their patriarchal blessing, review the Standards for the Youth constantly) — even when we do ALL of that ALL the time, we know that obedience to that commandment is in danger.  We know that with our teen in question, the lure of sex is dangling big time in front of him and it will be a miracle if he can resist — if he even wants to resist.  The jury is still out.

There's always repentance, but a baby is forever.  I am looking for suggestions and help. 

Southern Mom

There you have it, ladies. Southern Mom wants her son to live the law of chastity, but her son apparently doesn't see the reason right now. This is a toughie, because she definitely doesn't want to give any impression that she thinks sexual relations are okay — and she's afraid that's the message she'll send if she even mentions contraception. But she isn't ready for her teenage son to be a father, either. What advice can you give her? What advice can she give him ? Southern Mom needs your help!

Send your email to circleofsisters@meridianmagazine.com . Put something in the subject line that will let me know your letter isn't spam.  And when you write, be sure to include your full name, city and state or province. (If you'd rather be semi-anonymous, sign your name as “A Reader from Michigan” or “Sandy from Timbuktu.” The important thing is that we hear from you.)

Until next week — Kathy

Perfection of moral virtue does not wholly
take away the passions, but regulates them.

Saint Thomas Aquinas
Italian theologian (1225 - 1274)