Helping a Friend in Crisis
By Kathryn H. Kidd

As promised, we have a shiny new topic this week. And once again, we have a reader who reads your help pronto.

Here's what she has to say:

Boy do I have a topic for you!  I have no idea where to start, so I will just start blabbering. 

About a year and a half ago, my VT partner and I were assigned a new sister in our ward.  Soon afterwards, this sister became injured and went through surgeries and many, many trials.  My partner has preschool-aged children while mine are all in school, so I was able to do a bit more for our "teachee" during the days and was able to become close to her. 

Long story short is this:  I am now this sister's "only friend." I have come to love her so much after serving and helping her, and she has told me she loves me right back.  Yet now I know she is very much addicted to prescription medication.  Now that she knows I know, she is pulling away from me. 

Her husband is talking about putting her in rehab. This is the worst she has ever been (and it's been years).  I am seeing mind games she's playing with me, but I understand that it's the addiction that's talking, and not the wonderful sister that I consider my friend. 

Now that I have this written out, I realize I don't even know what question to ask!  What is my part, as her VT, her friend, and her sister in the gospel?  I do not want to let her hurt my feelings to make me go away, yet I know that is probably a real danger if I'm not careful.  I know Heavenly Father has put us together for a purpose, and I want to be able to do and learn all that He wants me to!  And if I can help my friend too, that would be a bonus.

Perplexed Visiting Teacher

Okay, readers, we have a challenge. And as you're digging deep to answer this question, try to broaden the scope to include any dangerous (or even illegal) behavior we see coming from a friend or a loved one.

How do we help them without driving them away? What should our priorities be? Is it ever appropriate to report dangerous or illegal behavior to the proper authorities — or is it appropriate not to report it?

I'm sure lots of you have faced this problem. If you have, and if you are willing to share with us how you dealt with it, please send your comments to circleofsisters@meridianmagazine.com . Put something in the subject line that will let me know your letter isn't spam.  When you write, be sure to include your full name, city and state or province. (If you'd rather be semi-anonymous, sign your name as “A Reader from Michigan” or “Sandy from Timbuktu.” The important thing is that we hear from you.)

Until next week — Kathy

“Misfortune shows those who are not really friends.”

Aristotle, Greek philosopher
(384 BC - 322 BC)