Meridian Magazine :: Can Do Youth: Bring Down the Walls!

Bring Down the Walls!
By Vickey Pahnke-Taylor

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A dear friend of mine was in Germany when the “wall came down.” After separating East from West Berlin for many years, the wall came down that separated those who enjoyed democracy from those who lived under communism. With it, people were united, families brought together, and hope renewed.

It has been many years since that occurrence. But I am sure there are many who remember it with clarity and with gratitude. What a time of celebrating! What a grand illustration — that wall of division being torn down, piece by piece, to bring healing and understanding.

I have been thinking about the walls that divide, and the process of healing, renewal, and unity that emerges when the walls come down. Especially walls that we build around ourselves: walls that emotionally, mentally, or spiritually keep us isolated. This seems to be a tool of the adversary that is popular’ in our time. Are there walls around you, keeping you from being as happy, as motivated, as successful as you would like to be?

A few walls that may separate us are:

1. A wall of sin
2.  A wall of anger
3.  A wall of confusion or misunderstanding
4.  A wall of arrogance
5.  A wall of insecurity
6.  A wall of selfishness

In a perfect world, we would suffer from none of these things. But, being human, we have to continually remind ourselves to shed the insecurities, the trespasses, and the negative worldly issues in order to keep walls from building around our hearts and minds. Walls that protect are good. Walls that separate and isolate us from the good things are insidious and dangerous.

The teenage years bring crucial times of trauma and drama to many. Unless those issues can be sorted out, dealt with, and overcome, there is a possibility of “Wall Danger.” Wall Danger is an insidious problem that causes us to wall ourselves off from other people, influences, and/or programs and separate ourselves in a negative manner. Wall Danger and its attendant problems may be avoided — if not totally, to a great degree — if we could just remember and utilize a few helpful hints.

In only one or two words, here are some suggestions for overcoming the Wall Danger associated with the walls of separation listed above:

1. For Sin — Repentance

Elder H. Burke Peterson shared these remarks in the June, 1981 Ensign:

As we go through life, we ofttimes build a rock wall between ourselves and heaven. This wall is built by our unrepented sins. For example, in our way there may be stones of many different sizes and shapes. There could be stones because we have been unkind to someone. Criticism of leaders or teachers may add another stone. A lack of forgiveness may add another. Vulgar thoughts and actions may add some rather large stones in this wall. Dishonesty will add another; selfishness another; and so on.

In spite of the wall we build in front of us, when we cry out to the Lord, he still sends his messages from heaven; but instead of being able to penetrate our hearts, they hit the wall that we have build up and bounce off. His messages don’t penetrate, so we say, “He doesn’t hear,” or “He doesn’t answer.” Sometimes this wall is very formidable and the great challenge of life is to destroy it, or, if you please, to cleanse ourselves, purifying this inner vessel so that we can be in tune with the Spirit.

2. For Anger — Self Control

President David O. McKay counseled that “A man who cannot control his temper is not very likely to control his passion, and no matter what his pretensions in religion, he moves in daily life very close to the animal plane.”

Ouch! There were no words minced here. Self control — praying for it, working on it, developing better habits of mind and heart — must be in place in order to get rid of anger with all of its walls, ugly actions, and cowardly reactions. Proverbs 16:32 explains the importance of personal management with these words: “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.”

3. For Confusion — Communication

Jesus Christ taught us the best way to keep communication open, safe, and clear when He said, “Let your communication be Yea, yea: Nay, nay; for whatsoever cometh of more than these is evil.” (3 Ne 12:37) The Savior was reminding us to be honest and to send no mixed messages in our speech. Relationships require work and love. Communicating honestly builds that love, and tears down walls.

4. For Arrogance — Humility

“Humility responds to God’s will — to the fear of his judgments and to the needs of those around us. To the proud, the applause of the world rings in their ears; to the humble, the applause of heaven warms their hearts.” President Ezra Taft Benson shared those words at April Conference, 1986. Are they not beautiful words? What a wall we keep, if we are searching for the honors of the world. As we simply shift that around to seeking the glory of God, as we are taught to seek, we can keep that wall from building. (see Alma 60:36.)

5. For Insecurity — Trust

The tool for turning personal insecurity around is simple, and encapsulated in these wise words from Elder Neal A. Maxwell, “It is better to trust and sometimes be disappointed than to be forever mistrusting and be right occasionally.”

There is freedom in learning to open up to trust. Fear retreats as we faithfully move forward, trusting in God and His plan, and trusting in our family and friends. In the event of disappointment, we may quickly and totally turn to our Father for strength and assistance. Meanwhile, we avoid a lot of bricks in our wall.

6. For selfishness — Charity

Again we may turn to President Ezra Taft Benson for his wisdom in shunning selfishness:

Selfishness is one of the more common faces of pride. “How everything affects me is the center of all that matters — self-conceit, self-pity, worldly self-fulfillment, self-gratification, and self-seeking.

Clearly, this is a dangerous wall-builder. Perhaps in this manner, we may build a circular wall, placing ourselves perfectly in the center! Since selfishness wears so many faces, we have to first address the ways it plays in our lives. Then, we can pray for charity — a truly Christ-like love –- for others. The walls come tumbling down, “for (with) charity there is no bookkeeping, no deals, interests, bargaining or ulterior motives; charity gives to those who do not deserve, and expects nothing in return; it is the love God has for us, and the love we have for little children, of whom we expect nothing, but for whom we are willing to give anything.”(Hugh Nibley.)

Which is your “favorite” reason for building walls? What will you do to tear them down, brick by brick? What will you do differently to prevent them from growing taller or thicker? I am constantly at work on my own “favorites” and hope to continually improve in this arena as the months and years go by. I may never reach my goal of getting rid of the brick pile from which a wall can be built, but, oh, the progress I will make as I keep at it!

C’mon — join with me in determining to create more unity and get rid of self-induced misery or isolation. Wall Danger can be but a small threat in our lives. Our personal joy quotient increases as we bring down the walls