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Hand-Me-Down
Values
By Susan Law Corpany
Not long ago I wrote a column about
materialism. In the process, I began to think about the ways that
values and attitudes are influenced and passed along from generation
to generation. Specifically, I began thinking about the challenge
of teaching today’s generation of kids, raised with high-tech
gadgets that become obsolete before they are even close to worn
out, to understand the difference between wants and needs.
Our values are passed along largely
by our own example. Children then have the choice of whether they
want to emulate or deviate from that example, which happens in varying
degrees.
Baby Lucy’s bib proclaims, “I’m
cute. Buy me something.” Unfortunately, too many of us take
that admonition seriously.
My grandparents lived through the Great
Depression. As a result, they rarely threw anything away. When they
passed away, they left a basement full of stuff they would need
someday, and frankly, I am grateful I lived far away when it came
time to clean it out. There was an entire room just full of nuts
and bolts, little pieces of hardware and assorted pieces of metal
they were saving for the next scrap metal drive.
There was a sign on their bedroom door
that said:
Use it up. Wear it out.
Make it do or do without.
Upon moving into our new home as newlyweds,
my husband and I discovered that some junk had been left in the
basement. I asked my grandfather if he could bring his truck down
and we would load it up and make a run to the dump. He brought my
grandmother along. I was pregnant, so I was sweeping and I left
the lifting to my husband and grandfather. My grandmother was treasure-hunting.
“Why, if you recovered the seats,
these dinette chairs would be as good as new if you got a little
rust remover and cleaned up the legs.”
I had swept a pile of debris into the
middle of the room. Grandma swooped down on it and picked up a tiny
shoe, shaking off the dust. The leather was hard and cracked. It
appeared to me that if you let baby shoes sit long enough, they
bronze themselves. She held it high. “Look, Susan. A baby
shoe!”
“Yes, Grandma. That will come
in so handy if I have a one-legged baby.”
Then she noticed the old crib in the
corner with the peeling paint, cracked wheels and rusty hardware.
I would not have put a baby dog in that crib. However, I knew better
than to engage my grandmother in a battle of wills on this subject.
“Look Susan, a crib! Why with
a little sanding and some fresh paint ...”
“A crib — wow! If only
we had known that was down here before we bought a new one.”
She smiled. It wasn’t necessary
for me to actually use the crib, as long as I had the value down:
You don’t buy something
new if there is something old that can be put to use.
I haven’t entirely bought into
that, but I do see my grandparents’ influence in my life.
I have the same sewing machine I’ve had since I was 18 years
old. It has given me over 30 years of good service. Every once in
a while I walk by and look at the new computerized models, and I
notice that the price of a new machine is really quite affordable.
Then I ask myself if I sew enough to justify replacing a perfectly
good machine that does what I need it to do. When I have had it
serviced, I’ve been told it is made better than many of today’s
machines. This is evidenced by the fact that it has served me so
long and so well. For now, I have decided to get by with the machine
I have.
Of course, as a new grandmother, I
reserve the right to revisit that decision, because it may become
necessary for me to be able to sew little rows of computer-generated
duckies along the edge of a baby blanket.
It is in that new role as a grandparent
that I have begun to wonder what I can do to be an influence for
good on my grandchildren. I look at today’s kids and see them
hooked to Ipods and constantly talking and texting on their cell
phones. Who would have imagined a few short years ago that along
with the opening announcements in church, the bishop would have
to remind everyone to please turn off their cell phones?
I can’t get into texting. I need
a full-size keyboard before I type anything, and I want to be able
to hit a letter only once before it appears. I am officially old.
I fast-forward in my imagination and see visits from little grandchildren
with all their gadgets and games, and I want to present some other
options.
Needs versus Wants
We need to weigh in, as parents and
grandparents, on the trend to believe we always have to have the
latest gadget, the fastest computer, the newest technology. Perhaps
a start is to suggest that we should put our money and our efforts
towards the things that are truly needful.
We need to help them to understand
that a person who does graphic design work will enhance his career
by having a state-of-the-art computer and the best printer available,
but he may not need the latest in stereo equipment. A professional
driver may need a navigation system for his vehicle more than someone
who does most of his driving in the city in which he has lived all
his life.
Technology is a fact of life, and it
blesses our lives in countless ways, but like anything else, Satan
stands ready to use it for his purposes. Because technology is moving
so fast, we must guard against greediness and a need to upgrade
just because there is something newer and better out there.
New Dogs Learning Old Tricks
I have decided to fight back by being
a low-tech grandma. I have already begun my collection of old-fashioned
toys. Anybody remember Tickle Bee? I still have my Super Spirograph.
I am collecting paper dolls, board games, Lincoln Logs, all kinds
of fun things from the good old days.
I know that if I start to lecture my
grandchildren about their gadgets and tell them how life was in
the pre-computer age when dinosaurs roamed the earth, they will
tune me out. But if I can pull out something fun that makes them
want to put down their Junior Palm Pilot or whatever else they will
have by then, I may have a chance of having a little influence.
If I can teach a little granddaughter
to sew and can show her how you can make a dress for yourself, and
then you can make doll clothes or quilt squares out of the rest
of the fabric, maybe she will learn to see other ways she can recycle
things.
Years ago I finally broke down and
bought my son a Nintendo game system, when he was about ten. He
was certain he was the last child in the free world without a game
system. About that same time, I read an article in the newspaper
about a contest called “Trash to Treasure.” The prize
was $100 for each age division. The idea was to make something useful
or with entertainment value out of something you would otherwise
throw away. We pulled the Styrofoam packing out of the Nintendo
box and noted the many compartments. Using things we had around
the house, we turned it into a Troll House. Matchboxes become Troll
Doll beds. A button pushed into the Styrofoam became a soap dish
and a pair of my old earrings became water knobs in the bathtub-shaped
compartment that had held the controller. We identified which room
each compartment would be and got to work.
The $100 he won is long gone. Ironically,
he spent it on video games. That game system has been replaced,
many times over by now. Tucked away in storage, however, he still
has the troll house we worked on together. The fun we had and the
memories we made — those are irreplaceable.
Stewardship
We must teach our children about their
stewardship over their possessions. When we do replace something
that might still be useful to someone else, we should donate it
to a thrift shop or to someone who could use it — not add
it to the accumulation in the garage or basement.
We need to teach the next generation
to work for what they want. Working for something tempers our desires.
Sometimes when much work is involved, we decide we didn’t
really want the item bad enough to work for it.
Layaway plans used to be structured
so that after the initial down payment, as long as you made a payment
each month, you could take as long as you needed to pay for the
item. As a youth, I often had things on layaway, and I remember
that great feeling of making the last payment and finally getting
the item. Even if the stores don’t still do that, there is
nothing that says parents or grandparents can’t have a layaway
plan of their own. You can buy the item, then keep it in a closet
and let your child earn it, make payments, do extra chores and learn
to master their need for instant gratification.
In this day of increasing technology
and desires for bigger, better and faster, we need to be bigger,
better and faster at passing along to children and grandchildren
the values that are important to us.
© 2007 Meridian
Magazine. All Rights Reserved.
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