Note
from Darla Isackson: I'm convinced that among Meridian
readers are the elite of the Kingdom, the Lord's elect.
I'm frequently thrilled by responses and this one certainly
in that category. Michelle shared with me a talk she had
given in church, and it is so inspiring I feel impressed
to share it with all of you — with her permission, of
course. She too suffers chronic illness, and has obviously
pondered the subject long and hard. I find her conclusions,
insights, and testimony truly worthy of consideration.
I was pretty amazed
when I was given my topic. The scripture assigned to me
was Matt. 11:28-30: “Come unto me, all ye that labour
and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my
yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly
in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For
my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
I was also asked
to look at Elder Nelson's talk on Jesus Christ as the
Master Healer. Interesting... as there's nothing more
that a mother of young children with insomnia and chronic
health problems wants more than rest and healing!
After laboring much
and struggling to feel settled with a direction for this
talk, I have felt to share some personal lessons I have
learned about finding rest and healing even when physical
rest and healing are elusive. I hesitate to talk about
my trials because I know they pale in comparison
to many. Nevertheless, I know our trials are tailored
to our growth, and I am learning and growing a lot from
mine. I know the principles I will share are true. I hope,
too, that I can more consistently apply these principles
because I know my burdens are lighter when I do.
Elder Nelson says
that "afflictions can come from spiritual as well
as physical causes." Chronic health problems are
physically taxing, to be sure, but I have also suffered
from fear, frustration, and feeling spiritually alone.
This trial is giving me opportunities to deepen my faith,
develop my patience, turn to the Lord more in thought
and in action — in short, to become more converted. Elder
Nelson said, "Faith, repentance, a testimony and
enduring conversion lead to the healing power of the Lord"
(Russell M. Nelson, “Jesus Christ — the Master Healer,”
Ensign, Nov. 2005, 85).
This heavenly healing
has begun to take place in my life. I would like to share
some of the things that have opened up that healing –
that divine rest.
I find rest and
healing when:
Last summer was
a dark time for me. At that time, I had the blessing of
singing in a choir. I especially loved a couple of songs
that we sang. Here are some of the words:
"What though
my joys and comforts die, the Lord my Savior liveth. What
though the darkness gather round, songs in the night He
giveth. No storm can shake my inmost calm while to the
Rock I'm clinging. While Christ is mine, and I am His,
how can I keep from singing?" (Robert Lowry (arr.
John Leavitt). "How Can I Keep From Singing?")
And, "The
God of love my Shepherd is, and He that doth me feed.
While He is mine and I am His, what can I want or need?"
(George Herbert (arr. Roy Hopp). "The God of
Love My Shepherd Is," Kingston, NY: Selah
Publishing Co. (1993).
At the beginning
of the summer, I sang these songs with a desire to feel
the truth of the words. By the end of the summer, I was
able to sing with more conviction and testimony. I wish
I could explain all the things that helped me gain a testimony
of God’s love; it was an amazing string of tender mercies.
The Spirit helped me understand this doctrine in a significant
and meaningful way. He has also helped me know of His
love through many of you. (President Kimball says that
the Lord does notice us, but it is usually through other
people that He meets our needs.)
Trials are not evidence
of God’s LACK of love. We need to trust that. He loves
us perfectly, and knows what we really need, which
is why sometimes we don’t get what we think we
need. As President Faust said in Conference a while back,
"God loves us more than He loves our happiness."
When I really trust in that, my burdens are lighter, and
I feel closer to Him.
The concept that
God loves us more than He loves our happiness ties
into my next point.
My dad has often
said that "to struggle is the program." Lehi
taught there must be opposition in all things. Eve understood
that the Fall and all its resulting pain and struggle
were absolutely essential to gaining eternal joy. Our
Father declared that the purpose of creating an earth
was to prove us to see if we would do all He commands
and expects.
Elder Scott sums
it up well: ”A pebble held close to the eye appears to
be a gigantic obstacle. (Like a boulder!) Cast on the
ground, it is seen in perspective. Likewise, problems
or trials in our lives need to be viewed in the perspective
of scriptural doctrine. Otherwise they can easily overtake
our vision, absorb our energy, and deprive us of the joy
and beauty the Lord intends us to receive here on earth.
Some people are like rocks thrown into a sea of problems.
They are drowned by them. Be a cork. When submerged in
a problem, fight to be free to bob up to serve again with
happiness.
“You are here on
earth for a divine purpose. It is not to be endlessly
entertained or to be constantly in full pursuit of pleasure.
You are here to be tried, to prove yourself so that you
can receive the additional blessings God has for you.
The tempering effect of patience is required. Some blessings
will be delivered here in this life; others will come
beyond the veil. The Lord is intent on your personal growth
and development. That progress is accelerated when you
willingly allow Him to lead you through every growth experience
you encounter, whether initially it be to your individual
liking or not. When you trust in the Lord, when you are
willing to let your heart and your mind be centered in
His will, when you ask to be led by the Spirit to do His
will, you are assured of the greatest happiness along
the way and the most fulfilling attainment from this mortal
experience. If you question everything you are asked to
do, or dig in your heels at every unpleasant challenge,
you make it harder for the Lord to bless you” (Richard
G. Scott, "Finding Joy in Life," Ensign,
May 1996, 24).
Elder Scott reminds
us of the need for patience, and that some blessings we
seek come beyond the veil (like a perfect body — I look
forward to the resurrection!!). He then talks about our
divine purpose to be tried and tested and proven, and
of how much the Lord wants us to grow. We will grow more
when we willingly allow His tutoring in our lives — when
we seek to understand and follow His will. Questioning
His will or digging in our heels at every unpleasant challenge
will make it harder for God to bless us.
I sometimes joke
that I easily get my nose stuck in a tree and thus can't
see the proverbial forest God wants me to see. A myopic
focus on my trials instead of my eternal existence and
purpose inevitably makes my burdens heavier. The Savior,
whose role in the plan gives us the promise that all things
will work together for our good if we are faithful, stands
with open arms and yoked shoulders waiting to help me
see the forest. But I have to choose to step back
from the tree!
So, does the fact
that I haven't been healed yet mean that priesthood blessings
don't work or prayers aren't answered or that heaven doesn't
care? Does it mean the Lord doesn't care about my children
or my husband and how difficult this has at times been
for them? NO. It just means that perhaps we have things
still to learn. I testify to you that I am learning things
that I don't think I would have learned had I had perfect
health.
Elder Nelson said:
"I recognize that, on occasion, some of our most
fervent prayers [for healing] may seem to go unanswered.
We wonder, 'Why?' I know that feeling! I know the fears
and tears of such moments. But I also know that our prayers
are never ignored. Our faith is never unappreciated. I
know that an all-wise Heavenly Father’s perspective is
much broader than is ours. While we know of our mortal
problems and pain, He knows of our immortal progress and
potential. If we pray to know His will and submit ourselves
to it with patience and courage, heavenly healing can
take place in His own way and time."
At some point, we
are, as President Benson said, all backed against the
wall of faith — faith in God's love; faith in God's plan,
both on a grand scale and on a personal level (think of
the Primary song, "I will follow God's plan for ME");
faith in His timing and His will; and faith that the Atonement
of Christ truly will make all things better — either in
this life or the next. (Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson,
p. 206.)
The fear and worry
with which I often struggle is dissipated if not eliminated
with an eternal perspective and true trust in God. I am
also able to be more patient in my trials knowing that
"all things work together for good to those who love
God" and "all these things shall give [me] experience
and shall be for [my] good." (See Doctrine and Covenants
122:4, 7 and Romans 8:28).
I hope for healing
in this life. I really do. But, as Elder Wickman talked
about..."But if not"...I am seeking to trust
in God and keep an eternal perspective, believing there
really is purpose in these difficult experiences. (Lance
B. Wickman, "But If Not," Ensign,Nov.
2002, 30.)
One of the things
I've noticed the past few years is that the prophets are
completely unapologetic about how hard life is, and about
how trials are just simply part of the program. It's not
that they are cold and uncaring about it, but they are
just matter-of-fact and clear about the doctrine of our
responsibilities and even opportunities in our trials.
I suppose that message
has always been there, but I never really heard those
messages like I have during these years of trial for me.
Their words are a lifeline, helping me remember God's
love and helping me keep an eternal perspective.
The scriptures and
temple have also always been a source of strength for
me, for they bring the Spirit — the Comforter — into my
life in a powerful way, which brings me rest. And, of
course, the Spirit can teach me things that help me in
my difficult times.
This is something
I am realizing I need to do more. Many of you are teaching
me about this, perhaps without knowing it. For example,
it has been stunning to me to listen to and associate
with women in the ward who are struggling with similar
health challenges. These women have extremely tender hearts
and focus deliberately and humbly on being grateful A spirit of gratitude can help ease
my burdens and make them lighter.
Another line from
the song I sang this summer about God's love: "Surely,
this sweet and wondrous love shall measure all my days.
And, as it never shall remove, neither shall my praise!"
Why is it that Nephi
was able to praise God, even after being bound on the
ship (and nearly killed at other times) by his own flesh
and blood (1 Ne. 18:15-16)? Because, unlike Laman and
Lemuel, who always found reasons to murmur, he "knew...
the dealings of that God who created [him]" (1 Ne.
1:12) and humbly acknowledged God's goodness, even in
His trials! (Think of his psalm; his gratitude helped
him refocus and refuel.)
How often I have
been like Laman and Lemuel, not remembering that even
the fact that the air I breathe from day to day is a gift
from God, let alone the many, many rich blessings I have
in my life — including the gospel, a righteous and loving
husband, amazing children, a dear ward family. The list
goes on and on.
With a spirit of
gratitude, I am also more likely to notice the tender
mercies that do come (probably more often than I realize),
which reinforces my conviction that God does love me.
I think sometimes
people think of this yoke of Christ as being restrictive
or burdensome, but the Savior tells us otherwise: "My
yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
If we bind ourselves
and stay bound to Him through commitment to our covenants,
His promise is to help us. He is bound when we do what
He says (Doctrine and Covenants 82:10)!
George Q. Cannon
said, "When we went forth into the waters of baptism
and covenanted with our Father in heaven to serve Him
and keep His commandments, He bound Himself also by covenant
to us that He would never desert us, never leave us to
ourselves, never forget us, that in the midst of trials
and hardships, when everything was arrayed against us,
He would be near unto us and would sustain us. That was
His covenant." (Gospel Truth, Vol. 1, p.170)
I have always loved
Mosiah 23 and 24, talking about Alma and his people and
their deliverance from bondage. I love reading in chapter
24 about how the Lord heard their prayers, even when all
they could do is pray in their hearts. I am also fascinated
by the Lord's response in Mosiah 24:13-14:
And it came to pass
that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions,
saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for
I know of the covenant which ye have
made unto me; and I will covenant
with my people and deliver them out of bondage. And I
will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders,
that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while
you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand
as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of
a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their
afflictions. (emphasis added)
It was the people's
covenant that caused the Lord to make a covenant to help Alma and his people bear
their burdens — and eventually to deliver them from bondage.
What I am realizing
more and more, however, is that staying with Christ in
the yoke requires serious commitment — "serious discipleship,"
as Elder Maxwell has said. This is not about flaky, fair-weather
following. It's not about casual commitment, nor about
whining all along the way that "my will be done."
This is about being stalwart and true to the faith that
our forebears have cherished...and is about enduring –
and enduring well!“ (Neal A. Maxwell, “Becoming
a Disciple,” Ensign, June 1996, 12). (I’m still
working on that one! I like what is said by Joseph Smith
in the new church movie when asked what it means to "endure
well." He says, "We do our best and then we
go on.")
Staying in the yoke
is also about being LIKE Christ — being, as he said, meek
and lowly in heart, being humble, submissive, obedient,
patient and trusting. I find it interesting that the two
characteristics the Savior uses to describe Himself in
the scripture in Matthew are "meek and lowly in heart."
I think those characteristics were shown most in the times
of His trials and suffering. We have the same opportunity.
Sometimes being
in the yoke is about coming to understand some of what
the Savior suffered. President Hunter said:
By taking the yoke
of Jesus upon us and feeling what he felt ... we learn
most deeply of him, and we especially learn how to be
like him" (Howard W. Hunter, "Come unto Me,"
Ensign, Nov. 1990, 17).
It's about staying
on the good ship Zion, as Elder Holland says:
When we join The
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we board
the Good Ship Zion and sail with her wherever she goes
until she comes into that millennial port. We stay
in the boat, through squalls and stills, through storms
and sunburn, because that is the only way to the promised
land.” (Jeffrey R. Holland, "Abide in Me," Ensign,May
2004, 30, emphasis in original.)
Elder Holland also
reminds us,
Christ said, 'I
am the true vine, and … ye are the branches… Abide in
me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself,
except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye
abide in me' (John 15: 1-3). "Abide in me" is
an understandable and beautiful enough concept in the
elegant English of the King James Bible, but "abide"
is not a word we use much anymore. So I gained even more
appreciation for this admonition from the Lord when I
was introduced to the translation of this passage in another
language. In Spanish that familiar phrase is rendered
"permaneced en mi." Like the English verb "abide,"
permanecer means "to remain, to stay," but even
gringos like me can hear the root cognate there of "permanence."
The sense of this then is "stay — but stay forever."
That is the call of the gospel message... Come, but come
to remain. Come with conviction and endurance. Come permanently,
for your sake and the sake of all the generations who
must follow you, and we will help each other be strong
to the very end. (Ibid)
But what do we get
for staying in that yoke, [for coming to remain]? We get
the blessings President Cannon talked about. We have Someone
to help carry our burdens. President Hunter said:
Why face life’s
burdens alone, Christ asks, or why face them with temporal
support that will quickly falter? To the heavy laden it
is Christ’s yoke, it is the power and peace of standing
side by side with a God that will provide the support,
balance, and the strength to meet our challenges and endure
our tasks here in the hardpan field of mortality (Howard
W. Hunter, "Come unto Me," Ensign, Nov. 1990, 17).
What is most stunning
about this metaphor is that the Savior is right by my
side, if I will stay by Him
through my faith and obedience and endurance. He is close.
I picture Him ready and willing to give me helpful hints
and encouragement along the way — indeed, He does do that
through His Spirit (the Comforter!!) Through the Spirit
and His prophets, He can help me see things more as He
does. If I am yoked with Him, my movements can be more
in step with His. He may help me lengthen my stride when
I'm struggling. He knows that the shortest distance between
two points (where I am and where I want to be) is a straight
line, even the strait and narrow path. Staying yoked with
Him keeps me on that path and can help me avoid needless
wandering.
I picture that He's
not behind me, cracking a whip, nor ahead of me, waiting
for me to figure things out on my own and to catch up
so I can then receive His help and love. He is
by my side, helping me carry my burden. All I need
to do is trust in His love and His Atonement — the reason
I can have faith in Heavenly Father’s plan – and cling
to truth and gratitude and covenants, and He will always
be by my side!
I testify that these
things are true. As I trust in God’s love, try to have
an eternal perspective, feast on the words of Christ,
have a spirit of gratitude, and try to be more like the
Savior by clinging to my covenants, the Spirit fills my
soul with peace, rest and healing.
Elder Nelson says:
"When sore trials come upon us, it’s time to deepen
our faith in God, to work hard, and to serve others. Then
He will heal our broken hearts. He will bestow upon us
personal peace and comfort. Those great gifts will not
be destroyed, even by death."
Although I am still
a long way from consistently implementing these truths,
I am feeling the blessings in my life when I do. I know
that the Savior is anxious to help us, but waits with
open arms and yoked shoulders for us to come to Him, to
stay next to Him — and to thus be more "at-one"
with God — which at-one-ment IS the source of peace and
rest.
