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By
Paul Bishop
Editor's note: This is one of a series of
articles on using writing to enhance your life. Read the first
article here.
As
Latter-Day-Saints we are often encouraged to capture our
personal histories in the form of journals or written
autobiographies. For many this can be a daunting task,
especially if viewed from the perspective of starting
with the cliché, “I was born on...”
For
some people the sticking point can be a self-esteem issue,
where they do not view their life accomplishments as being
special enough to warrant writing about. There is also
the opposite variation on this theme, when an individual
is so self-absorbed that he believes everything he has
done is of great note.
As
a writer, I am sometime approached at seminars by people
who flatly state, “My life is so interesting it would
make a great book.” This is usually followed by an offer
to let me write the book and split the profits. After
all they’ve already done all the hard work ― they’ve
lived their lives. All I have to do is put all the words
on paper.
In
some cases, the experiences of these individuals are of
note. But in reality, they are only of interest to themselves
or their immediate family; they don’t have the universal
appeal, impact, or notoriety to capture a wider audience.
On
one occasion, however, I was conducting a writing seminar
at a retirement home. A garrulous female resident in
her eighties kept interrupting in a heavy German accent,
insistent her life had been filled with many incredibly
stories. I was doing my best to continue the lecture
until she blurted out she had once dated Adolph Hitler!
Now, here was a story, I wanted to hear. It didn’t matter
if it was true ― this was a fifteen-minutes-of-fame
experience with wide appeal. And therein, I believe
is the key to writing memoirs.
Commercial
Versus Private
The
majority of best-selling biographies feature major celebrities,
politicians, historical figures, or individuals who have
accomplished incredible feats garnering national attention.
While most of our lives do not fall into these categories,
all of us have individual experiences worthy of recording
for our children, grandchildren, and generations to come.
Think
of your own responses to reading ancestors' journals or
love letters between your (great) grandparents separated
by WWII. How would you feel if you were to uncover a
treasure trove of such archives hidden in an attic trunk?
The personal connection is what makes these items resonate
for us ― as our own experiences can resonate for
those who have ties to us.
The
challenge in writing memoirs is not starting from when
we were born and attempting to record every moment of
our lives. Instead, it is to choose those experiences
of major or minor significance that have shaped who we
have become.
In
my own case, for example, I wrote a memoir to give to
my father for his seventieth birthday. It was entitled
"The King of Ping." The short piece chronicled
a three-month period when I was fifteen and my father
and I engaged in an epic ping-pong tournament against
each other. The lessons I learned from the experience,
and the ways both of us were forced to change, provided
the fodder for what is now a treasured family heirloom.
Memoir
pieces don’t have to be serious or life changing. In
another instance, I recorded the not-so-epic adventure
of my involvement with "The Trouble Twins on the
River" ― the story of an inner tube
float down the Salt River with my wife and then nine-year-old son. Every time this piece is read
during family get-togethers, my wife insists the events
are wildly exaggerated. My son, however, owns up to the
truth behind the humor.
In
my case, I love everything about books and stories ―
reading them, writing them, publishing them. While I
have had a number of novels published commercially, the
private pieces written for a limited audience are far
more important to me emotionally. I fully enjoy the process
of not only writing these pieces, but then returning to
the arts-and-crafts days of my youth to produce handmade
miniature books to present to the recipients.
Nuts
and Bolt Techniques
Although
breaking our memoirs down into individual experiences
helps us from being overwhelmed by a massive task, there
are still a number of techniques we need to learn in order
to make our efforts readable.
The
first thing to remember is that your "I’s" are
far less important than your "eyes." If your
story is filled with nothing but “I did this” and “I did
that,” you will make readers feel as if they are trapped
on a long, slow sea voyage next to somebody who is totally
self-absorbed ― and totally boring.
Using an objective "eye" to filter your life’s
events is what makes memoirs interesting. Your mind’s
eye can capture a perspective involving everything in
the event, not just yourself. Doing this removes the
focus on the "I" so those reading or listening
can become more involved by bring their own universal
touchstones to the experience.
Bringing
a Memoir to Life
As
you put your memoir on paper, be sure to include at least
one sympathetic character. Charles Dickens often wrote
about people involved in grim and desperate circumstances,
but he always gave his readers somebody with whom to identify
and cheer.
This character doesn’t always have to be you. I have
sometimes written memoirs as a form of catharsis. I use
these efforts to therapeutically work through events where
I have made major mistakes, making the other individuals
the sympathetic characters involved in the experience.
These are obviously not pieces I plan on giving as gifts,
or even necessarily sharing, but they have helped me come
to grips with my life and the choices I have made.
To
make your memoirs sing, work to bring out what is inspirational
or thought-provoking about the event. In "The King
of Ping," I wrote about how my father’s actions taught
me subtle lessons about being a man and a father ―
the ping-pong tournament was simply the frame to tell
this story.
Ask
yourself what it was about an event that made it important
to you. What is the reason the event or experience has
stayed with you all your life? These are the golden nuggets
you need to move your personal story from two-dimensional
flatness to Cinerama Dome, surround-sound life.
Adding
to this quest to bring our memoir to life is the ability
to find the extraordinary in the ordinary. Most of us
live ordinary daily lives, but within those set patterns
events occur, words are said, and epiphanies reached.
The trick is for you to have done the self-analysis necessary
to see the patterns and interpret their meanings through
your story.
Another
effective key is to look for universal topics on which
to base the stories that form your memoirs. War experiences,
losing a child, coping with a physical handicap, responding
to a midlife crisis, missionary experiences (at least
within an LDS setting), and uncountable other common themes
can make your experiences reverberate with readers who
have a shared experience.
Recently,
while web surfing for unrelated information, I came across
a web site titled Avocado Memories. The creator of the
site, Wes Clark writes eloquently of growing up in the
Los Angeles suburb of Burbank during the sixties and seventies.
As I read his memoirs of this time period, I was completely
transported back to my own youth growing up about ten
miles away during the same time frame. His points of
reference ― TV spy shows, comic books, hated teachers,
the kitsch avocado interior decorating of the period,
etc. ― all rang common chimes within my own experiences.
I
had no idea who Wes Clark was when I clicked into Avocado
Memories. However, by the time I was done meandering
through his site, I knew he was a lot like me and was
thoroughly enchanted by the brief glimpses he provided
of his life.
What
also made Wes’ memoirs enjoyable was the clear and concise
manner with which he wrote. If you want your memoirs
to be effective, then it is important to make the effort
to make your writing the best you can. Does this mean
you shouldn’t write unless you are at a professional level?
Of course not. What it means is making an effort to produce
your best work.
Good Writing
Good
writing can be a simple as starting your memoir with a
hook to grab the reader’s attention. Don’t start with
the day you were born. Start in the middle of the story
and use flashbacks if needed to fill in the gaps (you’d
be surprised at how often those gaps don’t need filling
for your story to be effective).
The
most common editorial change that first novelists face
is the lopping off of their first chapter ― or at
least shuffling it so it becomes the second or third chapter.
Your readers want to get involved in your story right
away. Remember, this isn’t a magnum opus you’re writing
― it is a brief sketch to capture a memorable incident.
If you don’t feel comfortable starting in the middle of
your story, then open with one of the happiest, most memorable,
unusual or exciting events in your life, or a turning
point that significantly changed you.
All
good stories contain conflict ― things, people,
or places that get in the way of the main character achieving
their goals. What then makes the story/memoir interesting
is how the main character (you) overcomes or does not
overcome these obstacles. Remember to wrap things up
by the end. Unresolved conflicts only frustrate readers.
It
is important to have a beginning, a middle, and an end
to your memoir. They don’t necessarily have to appear
in the traditional order. However, for those making their
first foray into writing, it is probably wise not to complicate
things immediately by attempting flashy storytelling techniques.
Get the words on paper. Tell a simple story. Keep your
story on track by making sure each scene is relevant (no
matter how well a scene is written, if it doesn’t move
the story along save it for another time). Do these things,
and technique, style, and a voice of your own will follow
with time and practice.
Memoir Pitfalls
We
have discussed creating believable, sympathetic characters.
However, when writing a memoir, beware of portraying those
you love through rose colored glasses. Conversely, beware
of portraying those you despise too harshly.
Characters
in a memoir must grow and change, usually as the result
of conflict resolution. If your characters are wooden
and unchanging, the events surrounding them ― no
matter how vibrant or important ― will not engage
the reader’s imagination.
Think
of your favorite movies. Was it the plot that kept you
riveted, or the characters you came to care about?
Research
Finally,
a word about research. This would fall into the do as
I say, don’t do as I do category:
- Don't rely strictly on your memory.
- Use research to put time period into context.
- Don't assume readers will understand slang terms
or cultural references. Even people or objects that
are common parts of your frame or reference (Mae West,
for example, or rabbit ears antennas on televisions),
are not going to be familiar to your children or grandchildren.
- Probe as deeply as you can to fill out a scene
or event.
- Use letters, photographs, diaries, interviews,
and other tools to bring your writing to life.
Next:
(Almost) Seven Tips for Completing Your Writing Project
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