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Letter from
the Highlands by Anne Perry
Once again this
is not actually written in Scotland, because I have been travelling
all over the place. Right now I am in New York, in a hotel just
across from the Lincoln Center. I am here for a few days, to see
publishers and so on, but also to have fun. The reason is that I
am doing another three lectures on the QE2, but this time on the
trip from New York to Southampton, rather than the other way round.
New York is
very warm and humid, but as exciting as always. Unlike when I come
here purely on business, as at the beginning of a book tour, this
time I am going to the theatre. That is fun, thought provoking and
deeply enriching. What is a better gift than a new thought, something
different and challenging to add to the furniture of the mind? How
bright and life-giving to hear a completely different view of life,
and morality in another aspect? Surely one of the greatest purposes
for our being here is to expand the width of our understanding,
and get to know other people, and not necessarily to agree with
them, but whenever even remotely possible, to like them?
The Wandering Jew
I have my seventeen-year-old
niece, Frances, with me, which is wonderful. The play we saw last
night was far too complex to recount here. It was a one-man show,
with hardly any scenery and only a few props, but the thoughts in
it will remain in my mind for ages. It concerned the man in whose
doorway the Saviour stopped for rest, when he was carrying his cross
to Golgotha. The man told him to move on, because he was afraid
of showing mercy in case the soldiers thought he was a sympathizer.
The legend has it that he was cursed never to rest until the Lord
comes again. We know him as ‘The Wandering Jew’.
Character is Fate
But doesn’t
that bring a host of thoughts and possibilities to your mind? What
philosophy of reaping as we sow does it represent so painfully,
and with such force! How hard do we think before a single act of
compassion, or judgment? It was only a moment’s cowardice,
yet it decided his destiny for at least two thousand years!
Surely it had
to spring from the kind of man he was? Sometimes our actions are
out of character, but not often. A brave, selfless and compassionate
person would have acted differently. Someone practised in thoughts
and deeds of kindness would have reached instinctively to help.
We must decide
BEFORE the moment of testing, who we are, what we believe and what
we value, then when the test comes, we will do what reflects our
inner selves. A lot of it is about integrity, the wholeness of heart
and mind. Perhaps instinctive reaction, done without time to think,
or to put on masks or weigh self-interest, are the truest indication
of the soul. If there are exceptions, God will judge accordingly.
Ovid
We saw other
shows which were exciting and so provoking of thought I wish I could
see them again to remember them more clearly. Especially I would
like to see Metamorphoses again, and the passage about Love and
the Soul being destined for each other, the need to see clearly,
to behave without disguise, and the pain endured before they can
be united eternally. I suppose I had better go back to Ovid and
see if I can find it! Did he put it so well? Or is his a modern
wording of it that is so powerful?
I read Ovid
years ago, seems like centuries now, but I don’t remember
that! Maybe I was too young and had little idea of what it was beyond
a story. Some things need to be told to us more than once, maybe
more than twice.
QE2
We met wonderful
people in New York, everyone was extraordinarily kind to us, above
and beyond mere hospitality. All went well to embark on the Queen
Elizabeth II. For no reason I know of, they upgraded our cabin,
and we ended with a penthouse room with our own balcony!
We dined in
the Queen’s grill at a table with a most interesting couple.
He had been in the diplomatic service, and lived in Iran, Afghanistan,
Pakistan and Greece, among other places. His lectures were on Afghanistan
and Kashmir, and we attended both of them. They were enlightening,
and gave cause for profound concern, but with a far greater understanding
of these areas, their staggering physical beauty, and the history
which gives rise to the present crises. Again, I wish I knew more!
But it has been very good to learn even this little bit, and I am
intensely grateful for it.
We have had
a wonderful time, eaten splendidly, relaxed, enjoyed good company.
My three lectures (the price of our trip – and I feel far
too little for what we received) seemed to go well. All in all,
it has been superb, and again, I am filled with gratitude. (Note
added in later, they have asked me to go again next year, Far East
and Africa voyage, and I leapt at the chance. I hope it all comes
to pass.)
Prophesy in the Last Days
I have missed
Church because I have only been able to be there one week in the
last four, but it was a remarkably good one! I missed Relief Society
because it was the only time I could go to visit my Mother, but
Sunday School was on Amos and Joel, great prophets, and as so often,
not listened to well enough. One passage I liked immensely, from
Joel, said that in the last days the sons and daughters of the people
shall prophesy! Hang onto that, girls! Maybe we shall prophesy only
to ourselves, or to those for whom we have care, but it means that
we shall have the gift to understand and foresee, given by the Lord,
if we live worthily.
Remembered
Film
The sacrament
talks were excellent, and food for much thought. The first was on
judgment, and the dangers of exercising it. As so often when that
subject comes up, the story was told of the woman taken in adultery.
I remember years and years ago, when I was thirteen or fourteen,
I saw a silent film, I don’t know where they got it from or
how it came to be played, but that scene has remained in my mind
ever since.
The man who
played Christ had a marvelous face, wise, compassionate, anything
but bland or pretty. I have never seen such a face in reality. As
the men were raising their hands to stone the woman, He bent and
wrote in the dust with one finger. He wrote in Hebrew characters,
and as each man looked over his shoulder to read what it was, the
word appeared in English – ‘Liar, or ‘Thief’,
or ‘Adulterer’. Each man saw the word that applied to
him, and turned away, casting aside his stone.
I wonder if
‘Hypocrite’ appeared to many? After all, she was ‘taken
in adultery’. That is one crime you cannot commit alone, yet
where was the man? No one has ever answered that, so far as I know.
But then how often do we see our own faults as clearly as we see
those of others? When we understand the reasons, the fears, the
needs, and the mistakes that drove us, or those we love, then we
forgive. We are just not quick enough or eager enough to do the
same for others.
The Bright Side
The second speaker
was given the subject ‘The Bright Side’. I think I would
find that very difficult to do without sounding insufferably sanctimonious.
Perhaps he did too, because he got out of it in a terrific way –
he took the letters of the words and used them as initials for ideas.
B for ‘Be in the present’. Learn to live in the moment
– to value the beauty around you. Don’t let thoughts
of the past and the future occupy your mind so much that you miss
the joy of being alive, the sights and sounds of nature, the friendship
of people, the glory of life.
R he used for
‘Reverence’. There is nothing made that is not worthy
of being held in esteem and treated with regard. It was all created
by God, and none of it should be treated with disrespect, none of
it misused or soiled or destroyed as if it had no dignity or purpose.
It is as much part of the world as we are.
I was for ‘Imagination’.
Nothing is achieved unless we imagine it first. First we dream,
we envision what we desire, then we strive for it. But without the
dream we would never aspire.
He did not add,
but I would, that by imagining what other people’s lives are
like, what hurts them or gives them happiness, we can become closer
to them. In imagination we can touch all others, stretch out and
out till we walk the very edges of the world.
G was for ‘Gratitude’.
I’m not sure if he mentioned it, but I remember vividly reading
that ingratitude is one sin the Lord cannot overlook. We must confess
His name in all things. And if you think about it, were we to see
His hand in everything, and think of all it means, we would treat
all other people, and the creatures, the plants, even the rocks
and the stars, with far greater care, realizing who made them, who
placed them where they are to be part of our lives. The habit of
gratitude would make life richer by far, and us wiser and happier.
H was for ‘Hope’.
It is because we hope that we get up in the morning, that we attempt
anything at all. Without hope we die. I have also heard it described
as ‘the gift of angels’. Sometimes it is necessary to
hope even when it seems completely unreasonable. It has a lot to
do with courage, and at the hardest times, also to do with trust.
We trust in the promises of God, even when we can see nothing ahead
of us. In the darkest night we persevere because we hope for the
dawn.
He did not use
T for ‘Trust’, but for ‘Transformation’,
that change that can occur in the heart when we practise faith and
try to keep all the commandments, a step at a time, strength and
belief increasing with each success. A day at a time we change.
And it is faith in the possibility of being better tomorrow than
we were yesterday that keeps us making the effort.
I cannot remember
what he used for the S at the beginning of ‘side’, so
I shall have to create my own. Perhaps ‘Serenity’ would
be good, in the sense of an inner peace which is able to let go
of those things which cannot be changed. If a past action is cause
for guilt or regret, then it must be acknowledged, repented of and
where possible, reparation made. Then it must be filed to learn
from, both not to repeat it, and also to understand so as to forgive
others. Then it must be let go of. God has told us He will forgive
when we have met the conditions. Not to believe Him, and accept,
is surely deeply insulting? Is this not the same thing as saying
that God cannot be trusted? It rejects the greatest gift He has
given us, and the purpose of His sacrifice at Gethsemane and Golgotha.
Accept with gratitude, never forgetting from whom it came. And in
time forgive any who have offended us, or offended those we love,
which can be harder.
And keep serenity
for the future also. Go forward with trust that that which is unseen
by us is not unseen by God, nor is it disordered or unjust.
He used ‘Imagination’
again for I, and for D – ‘Doctrine’. We must be
undeterred by weariness, undistracted by other pleasures, or other
pin pricks, resentments or fears.
The final letter,
E, is for ‘Enthusiasm’. He told us that it is derived
from the Greek which means ‘energy of God’. Isn’t
that marvellous? My dear friend and neighbour, Meg, has a recently
rescued puppy – Badger, eleven weeks old, all legs and enthusiasm!
Just to watch him run is to be happy. He is full of life, joy, trust,
curiosity. He has a boundless appetite just to be – which
brings us right back to where we started – ‘Be in the
moment’ – take joy in the glory of being alive.
All of this
is easy to say, but there are times when it is very difficult to
do. Things happen which are deeply and most painfully disillusioning.
Those of whom we had more than thought well, whom we had truly believed
in, can turn out to be shallow, vain, arrogant, even lacking in
integrity. It is one of the most difficult things to overcome. We
feel betrayed, and the wound goes on bleeding.
How much more
must Christ have felt? Never forget that our covenants were with
Him long before they were with each other. And no one else’s
failure excuses ours. If someone else shortens their stride, whoever
they are, then the only way we can meet it is to lengthen ours.
Again, that is easy to say, and can be supremely difficult to do.
One can feel very alone. If those we trusted abuse that faith, then
in whom do we trust? If those who are called to lead seem to be
going along the wrong path, how do we follow?
That is where
individual testimony comes. That is why we are to know our own faith,
read, pray and study for ourselves – gain our OWN testimony
of what is true, what is good and of lasting beauty to the soul.
The great commandments are to love God, and to love our neighbour.
All human beings are ‘our neighbour’, and we love them
by doing all in our power to further them in their quest to fulfil
the measure of their creation, to reach everything in them that
is good. We need the guidance of the Holy Spirit to judge what that
is. To have the Holy Spirit we must strive to get rid of anger,
self pity, guilt, envy, excuses, the desire to judge, and to exercise
dominion over others.
What a sore
temptation that is! It is surely one of the most difficult of all
virtues to have power and never use it unrighteously. It is a high
thing to aim for – never to co-erce another by flattery or
criticism, never to belittle in order to make oneself feel better,
never to judge hastily, never to withhold praise, friendship, acceptance
– on condition others will do as we wish them to! How many
actions silently say ‘do as I wish and I will like you. Don’t,
and I will make you feel excluded, foolish, lonely, a failure. I
cannot accept you if you think differently from the way I do, if
you have different tastes or beliefs, if you do this or that better
than I do, if you succeed where I have not, if you are liked when
I am not – in fact generally if you do not let me be first’!
Sounds pretty
bad, put like that, doesn’t it? But is it not too often at
the core? It is the subtlest of power – it takes a great spirit
to have power, and refrain from using it. I think it is one of the
greatest of all the purposes of life; to have power and refrain
from using it; to learn to accept forgiveness, and to give it, without
condition; to have the courage to embrace life, with its pain and
its failures as well as it successes – and to trust God to
do all that He has promised, and that He knows better than we do;
to keep going forward, even in the dark.
